Thursday, September 30, 2010

Al's Epiphany

Yesterday was a terrific day at Grafix Avenger and now I have a couple of announcements to make.

First, Al Sullivan is officially my sight-unseen ex-boyfriend after a 13-minute relationship that reached the heights of passion and the depths of... well, no depths really. Like a Roman candle, it was spectacular before it fell to earth. But we decided to remain friends.

So for my next announcement.

Once a former Grafix detractor my often-cruel and unworthy ex-boyfriend has now joined the bloggery biz with not ONE but THREE new blogs! (Can we say 'show-off', people?)

They are:
Wow. Talk about high-energy.

The guy starts 3 blogs in one day, and here I am bitching on a daily basis how hard it is to keep up with ONE stinking blog.

Maybe that's why it didn't work out out between us: he was always BUSY. No time for ME. The first 6 minutes were great, but the other 7... all downhill. And that 13th minute was sheer hell.

Check out Al Sullivan's Blogger profile. And look which blog he follows. MSV and HJ, read it and weep.

I think he needs to get that checked out.

Now for my third announcement, which will come as no surprise to you if read the conversation following yesterday's blogpost...

Al's had an epiphany.

Take a look at that, folks.

Can you believe it? My abusive and inhuman ex-boyfriend decided he likes the Grafix Avenger blog!

Oh, happy day!

Because now I won't be dodging any more of his deft verbal grenades and those nasty political ops planting BADSEEDs in his ear, well... let's see how that goes over now. Because...

Al likes ME!

It turns out my hugely disappointing ex-boyfriend is quite a decent fellow but don't tell him I said that.

Buzzing Occhipinti

Look what flew in this morning from TheBuzeeBee!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Silly Me - Update!

So yesterday at around 9:30 am I get this email from a friend:

Jihad Al called you silly.

That's 2 weeks in a row Al Sullivan gave Grafix Avenger a shout-out in his weekly column-- the one in the Hoboken Reporter, ummmmm... whatever-it's-called.

In fact, he didn't print this blog's name or mine, but we all know who he meant when he wrote about "the more scurrilous Lenz-supporting bloggers" in his Sept. 19 column. Now Al, why did you lump other scurrilous bloggers in with scurrilous-me? Scurrilously speaking.

(I love the word 'scurrilous'. And Al's a great writer with a vast and scurrilous vocabulary.)

Though Al did once write about GA; a complimentary piece all about my viciousness to the endearing and not-nearly-as-vicious Zimmerphobe, Hudson Shark , whose defamation of yours truly has sat since April 2010 on his crappy blog that no one reads.

Don't worry about me, Al... I'll be OK!

So, what did Al have to say in this week's column?

"...the real story involves a poorly designed and confusing telephone poll that asked a number of ridiculous questions from the popularity of a silly Zimmer-supporting blogger to how Zimmer and others would fair in a head-to-head election with state Senator and Union City Mayor Brian Stack."

Silly me!

Silly blogger + Zimmer... remember that, folks!

Well, I'm not upset, nor am I offended because I've figured out Sullivan's obsession: he's mad about me. No, not mad at me... he's infatuated. With me. He may even love me with all his heart.

Every time Al slams GA in his column it's the proverbial gum-in-the-hair of the school-boy's crush. Yes, Al's been shooting metaphorical spit balls at GA; each printed pejorative is a juicy, little rolled up ball of paper shot through a straw at the object of his affection.


Well, I have a secret. Don't tell anyone. The feeling is mutual.

In fact, at the top of the page is the future autographed poster that Al is going to send me some day, and that's my (future) lipstick on his oh, so handsome cheek!

Al, you are a handsome devil. And definitely not silly.


(Update: Sept 29., 2010, 10:20 am)

Oh, I'm blushing like a school girl... guess who stopped by to see me here at GA?

My not-so-secret-admirer, Al Sullivan!

See, he just can't stay away. From me. First, Al dropped by yesterday, posting this on an old thread, probably a misfire:

Isn't he adorable?

Well, he came back today to post on this thread, much to my delight... *sigh*...

I told you all of that innuendo-stuff was just bluster, a mask for his uncontrollable desire. For me.

Can you blame him? 'Silly' is the new sexy.

And I confessed to passion for him in equal measure.

So here you go Al, baby. Another one. For you. From me.

You handsome devil.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Operation Bounty

Kudos to MSV and The Hoboken Journal.

In partnership, they've launched what may turn out to be a game-changer in the upcoming 4th Ward City Council election: a citizens' campaign to stop absentee ballot fraud.

They are offering a bounty of $1,000, no questions asked, for information leading to the arrest and conviction of any individual disenfranchising the vote using absentee ballots in the upcoming 4th Ward election.

Well, whaddaya think of THAT?

I direct you to their respective links above where you can get all the information you need to participate, as a citizen who would like to restore democracy to Hoboken's elections. Aren't you disgusted with Banana Republic-style harvesting of absentee ballots? That gave us former mayor, now prisioner, Peter Cammarano.

That worked out well, didn't it?

To remind y'all of the 4th Ward absentee-ballot scam that goes on in this town I'm posting the ward-by-ward election results for the 2010 Board of Education race.

Now, keep this in mind: Frank Raia is leading the absentee ballot 'drive' for 4th Ward City Council candidate Timmy Occhipinti, according to a witness at last week's HHA recruitment meeting.

Raia's slate of School Board candidates were Kylia Colon, Patricia Waiters and Ken Howitt.

Click on any to enlarge.

3-Year Term

1-Year Term

Did you check out those absentee ballot numbers in the 4th Ward?

You knew it. Now you've seen it.

Please help stop this UNDEMOCRATIC ELECTION THIEVERY, please support free and fair elections in Hoboken, please do your part. It may earn you $1,000.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Reached For Comment - No. 7

Edited by Griswell

In this edition:

Armageddonish Goings On

• Gravitas for Dummies

• Dispatches from the Queen of Peru

• A New Star on the Political Horizon

Find us on Twitter: @Griswell_RFC

Armageddonish Goings On

Last Wednesday night in Hoboken, for perhaps the last time, who can say, theatre-goers were treated to a performance for the ages. That grand old company – the one that had dominated political theatre in the city for all but a few excruciatingly painful months in the entire lives of both the company and its financial backers - was reassembled. And did they ever put on a show.

Cathartic. Indelible. Displyfic.

Ok, dysplyfic isn’t actually a word, but rhythm called for a 3rd adjective, and it just wasn’t coming. And Hobbesian sounded mean.

A second presentation of the police union street opera, in full make-up and costumes, was ordered by the impresario known only as “The Squid”. To accommodate the promised anti-layoff, but now broadly anti-Zimmer, multitudes union president Sal F. Parodi made a public demand for a change of venues.

To be fair, Sergeant Parodi – “it’s pronounced puh-Roddy, ok, genius?” - was acting under strict orders from The Squid to undertake no communication of any kind without first contacting the media. Parodi’s assumption that this edict covered everything from ordering lunch in the deli to telling the kids to tidy up their rooms has not been without complications for his private life. But publicly, he remains a formidable echo.

Unfortunately for the luckless Parodi – who, according to 3 local papers, had the chicken parm for lunch - guest city council president, Simon Cowell, was unimpressed with request and requestor alike. Citing the epic redundancy of the previous installment of the production, Cowell flatly refused the venue change. “Sing me your 3 best songs, leave,” he instructed the flustered tenor.

“But,” Parodi countered, “each of the 400 or so songs we have planned is part of the great and holy fabric of our democracy, each a unique and fragile little snowflake of-“

“Sing me your 2 best songs, leave,” Cowell concluded.

And so with this fresh resentment to wallow in, the company assembled at 5pm.

The scene was tense as a pleasant late afternoon yielded to advancing shadows, the summer days dwindling as inexorably as the short list of remaining legal options. Overhead, the hovering Reached For Comment chopper captured the sprawling production on video. Barking megaphones, police barricades with police on both sides, a surging yellowy troupe led in choruses demanding an end to layoffs, Zimmer’s ouster, and 6 more weeks of summer. The budget surplus, which ballooned to $300 million by the 2nd act, would be more than sufficient to make any dream a reality. RFC reporters moved easily among the performers, soaking up the bitter joy, and even helping to construct a guillotine, not wanting to seem aloof from the festivities or unhelpful.

At the edge of the assemblage The Squid breathed his satisfaction to a few associates close by. “Yes…Yes… More.”

And it appears that the company’s message is finally being heard in city hall. Sergeant Parodi once again drew a gleeful ovation when he grabbed a bullhorn and promised Armageddon if the layoffs went forward. Conversely, it seemed there would be no consequences of any kind if the layoffs were tabled. And all at once the proverbial light went on.

How had everyone missed it before? There was only one unavoidable conclusion: these are evidently the 18 greatest officers in the long history of law enforcement!

A complete re-thinking of the previous RIF plan is now underway, with all options on the table, the front-runner being to let the entire rest of the force go and just keep the 18 supercops at any price.

Complicating matters, officials from Jersey City have urgently requested ‘a meeting’ with the officers.

It seems the Chilltown PD has been left scrambling for excuses in the face of widely circulated analysis which proves conclusively that Hoboken’s transformation was due to the work of its police force. The unanimous verdict is that the Jersey City Police Department is simply hopelessly incompetent, as evidenced by that city’s continuing failure to become much, much smaller and highly affluent. A bidding war for Hoboken’s finest finest now appears inevitable. “We will be reasonable,” said the officers, speaking through their recently hired agent, Scott Boras. “But we got mad LE skills.”

Meanwhile, there was still the matter of the council meeting itself. The night belonged to the city’s masterful public speakers who anchor left end of the council table and equally to their overwhelming support in the council chambers.

Glancing up from her knitting to provide a spark to the kindling spirits that filled the gallery, Minnie Defarge promised vengeance against “it” in a knowing, mousy voice as she held up the “Z” taking shape between her needles to thunderous approval.

Next to speak, Defarge’s cousin, Flaunt Enrico, voiced his disgust for the 5 people present who didn’t cheer for the “Z”. And again, the rafters trembled with joyous loathing.

In the rear of the room, The Squid repeated to no one in particular, “Yes… Yes… More” and exited to a waiting black car.

Gravitas for Dummies

But not all speakers sounded the call to cathartic mob violence. One such was the youthful, well-beloved challenger for the 4th Ward seat presently held by the one known only as “The Don.”

We should note here that the young candidate has recently had his name legally changed in response to constant hectoring from critics who have accused him of being nothing more than the old guard in a new suit and low-carb diet. The last straw came when he opened his campaign headquarters last week in a defunct pet supply store only to be heartlessly dubbed the old guard’s ‘pet shop boy’ by a local wag. Determined to cut all perceived ties to the past, he has chosen the name OchoPinto to reflect his newfound newfoundness.

Asked where he got the name, OchoPinto insisted it came to him “completely independently, like the way my campaign is all completely independently and junk.”

Stepping to the microphone, OchoPinto had a sobering if baffling message for his listeners. In a halting delivery, he called for all parties to resume a dialog, seemingly unaware of Parodi’s pointed refusal to participate in “an obvious media publicity stunt.” OchoPinto’s misguided remarks reflected the widely held belief that Parodi only wanted to participate in obvious media publicity stunts. Nevertheless, under instructions from The Squid to “cheer for everything,” the audience wildly applauded this 180 degree contradiction of its leader.

Reached For Comment caught up with the dapper political novice afterward to talk about his evolving portrayal of an independent candidate in which he employed a much slower cadence than in his previous performances. “You seemed like a different man up there tonight, more statesmanlike - or really medicated.”

“Thanks…for noticing… My advisors tell…me… that…by speaking slowly…and…deliberately…I can…achieve…an air…of maturity…and gravitas…and junk.” The Squid’s rear car door opened then and OchoPinto dutifully vanished.

Dispatches from the Queen of Peru

And finally, it was Meth time. By popular acclamation, she was the evening’s keynote speaker. While Minnie and Flaunt had delighted everyone with their seething contempt, it was to be expected. But Raisin had fallen a majestic distance to reach this plateau, and it was her time to sparkle like polished gemstone at the bottom of a well.

She’d had several hours to prepare for her moment and seemed more than slightly ‘fortified’ when the time came.

She started by explaining why layoffs could never be considered.

“Why can’t we have layoffs? Why? I’ll tell you why. In my ward alone a terroristic phone call was made to a school; a house was broken into; someone needed medical attention; a plane crash-landed in the river, which is technically part of my ward; I get daily calls about pot holes; and people were going backward on skate boards.”

She paused and took a long sip, seemed to lose focus for a moment, then continued.

“And some terrorists needed medical attention. A house broke into a school. A plane went backward on a skateboard, and-“ Here she paused for a point of order.

“Garçon? Garçon? Hey, top me off here, will ya? Christ. I’m just gettin’ to the meaty potatoes, k?”

Unsure how to respond, city clerk James Farina finally said, “Sure, anything you say. Coming right up.” Chewing on an olive, Raisin continued.

“So anyway, there’s this pot hole, and it’s like, it’s big, like a big, you know, hole. Bigger’na pot actually. I don’t know why they even call ‘em pot holes. S’anybody know? An’body? No? I’m gonna find out. That’s my pledge to all you yellow people at the other end of the bar.”

Throughout the speech the audience, accustomed by then to applauding at rhythmic intervals, struggled to find their opportunities in Raisin’s wandering monolog. So the news that she would lead some sort of expedition to find out why pot holes were called pot holes unleashed an explosion of pent up cheering.

Sensing that she could now say anything, she did.

“Here’s a story, k. Pay ‘tention. So I’m in Peru, ok, and they got this big giant mountain of steps like for some kinda royal ceremony thing, lotsa lotsa steps, ok, and they got these guys that carry you up on a chair if you don’t wanna walk, cuz it’s lotsa lotsa steps. So I get carried up, up, up to the tippy-top and look allllllll around, ok, and it’s byooful and regal and everything like that with the chair and everything, and then they carry me back down ok, but I didn’t wanna leave yet so I made ‘em carry me back, up, up, up lotsa lotsa steps, to the tippy-top. And it’s byooful again and back down again, but I still didn’t wanna leave, ok, so we go back up buncha times. And then they said, you know, how about this, ok. They said, how about we go up one more time, ok, and then if you promise to leave you can be the Queen of Peru. So I got that goin’ for me. Which is nice.”

At this point Raisin’s laid her head down on the council table and fell asleep.

Summing up, otherwise unemployable Raisin apologist, Jane Deblarney, declared, “Mommy drank more than all the other mommies put together. Mommy wins! And Nancy Pincus made a picture with turds.”

Nervous applause began in the back of the room, spreading slowly, almost person to person, until it finally took flight, sensing that ‘the speech’ was at last over, and engulfed the room in a celebration of unbridled antipathy. Chants of “4 more years! 4 more years!” soon followed.

“This is our time!” cried Flaunt Enrico. “Every meeting can be just like this if we want it to be! Just like in the old days. We don’t need them. Every night can be just like this!”

And so they can.

A New Star on the Political Horizon

Insiders have speculated that Raisin’s heavy… fortification on this night of nights may have been due to the emergence of a surprise challenger for her council seat. This candidate is known only as “TG” to even the most in-the-know political junkies. However, Reached For Comment got the full story. And we’ll give to you. But first….

Friends, if you own your own home or have frequent recreational sex with someone who does, I’ve got an exciting offer to talk to you about from the folks at DrunkShares©.

DrunkShares are today’s revolutionary and lucrative answer to the problem of pub-crawling – when it turns into actual crawling. They’re like timeshares, but geared for drunks. Well gee, Mr. Griswell, that sounds perfect and I don’t care what it costs, but how do they really work?

Simple, friend. First, you’ll need our patented DrunkMagnet©. This is a 600 watt blue light bulb that goes in front of your home. And don’t worry – we’ve designed it to work with ordinary light fixtures! DrunkMagnet tells the many, many drunks wandering in your neighborhood that you’re a certified DrunkShares Innkeeper!

Once you’ve installed the DrunkMagnet, you’ll just need to position the glowing DoorbellBuddy© pointing finger, designed by our engineers to remind your guests of the Dr. Seuss books they read in college. DoorbellBuddy helps your soon-to-be passed out lodger figure out what to ring to gain admittance to your home – sometimes in as little as 10 minutes! Then just lay out the plastic sheets and get ready to cash in, Sam or Sally Innkeeper!

But how much should I charge, Mr. Griswell? Well that’s the beauty of it, friend! How the hell would they know what you charged? If it’s St. Paddy’s day, the PD charges a grand, right? So help yourself to whatever’s in their wallets after they lose consciousness. And moms and dads, don’t forget to let the kids go through their pockets and keep what they find. How’s that for teaching the youngsters an important lesson about savings while they’re having all the fun of a real live treasure hunt! Talk about edutainment!

So log into now before you have a chance to think it over and request our free starter kit for just $39.95 + shipping and handling. It comes with everything you need to become a DrunkShares InnKeeper.

Or step up in class to our deluxe St Patrick’s Day edition that comes with our configurable storage solution, DrunkStacker©. With DrunkStacker you can now load up to 8 drunks in cramped spaces that used to hold only one or two. It’s just the thing for bachelor parties!

Order right now and we’ll throw in a free LoveShovel©, a short-handled coal shovel that’s perfect for those morning-after clean-ups. And it doubles as a helpful, non-addictive sedative for guests that don’t seem to understand it’s bed time. Operators, all of whom are named Carol, are standing by. Tell ‘em you saw this ad, and they’ll cut the price in half after a 50% surcharge.

And look for our signs developed specially for your target demographic the next time you’re in the restroom of one of the city’s many fine establishments. For the convenience of the kneeling public, all signs are positioned near the baseboard.

DrunkShares - When a stranger’s floor is about as good as it’s gonna get.

In what may be a lethal blow to Meth Raisin’s chances in the spring, she finds herself running far behind a spatula in a race to hold onto her council seat.

Who is this game-changing candidate? Reached For Comment was determined to find out.

Tolbin Garth Spatula – or “TG” for short – first came to this country in a crate from Hungary in 2002. An anonymous if hardworking figure for most of his early years in Hoboken, he came to prominence first as an extra and later as a weekly contributor on TLC’s “Cake Boss.” Can anyone ever forget the peach flan episode?

Sensing Raisin’s vulnerability and Spatula’s rising star, The Don and other king-manufacturers approached the TV demi-icon about a possible run in the 2nd ward, where Spatula lives with his wife, a ladle, and their 2 children, a 3-year old spoon and a 6-month old cute-as-can-be spatula.

Reluctant at first, Spatula agreed to a test marketing poll. The results staggered even the most optimistic politicos.

At a fund-raiser at Teak, Spatula told supporters, “We’re going to run a campaign on the issues – not just issues facing the Spatula community, but other utensils as well.”

“Heck,” quipped the suddenly seasoned to the point of being obnoxious candidate, “my campaign manager is a fork.” In a clever pre-emptive strike, Spatula added that he was proud to live in a city where his inter-utensil marriage to a ladle would not be used as an issue by his worthy opponent.

More to follow as the perpetual campaign season trundles on.

Police Blotter

Police were called to the scene of a single car accident very early last Thursday morning. It seems a Lincoln Navigator, travelling the wrong way up Hudson Street and pin-balling off of cars on both sides of the street, finally struck and laid low a utility pole on the sidewalk. Full airbag deployment prevented any injuries.

Police at the crash site reported an insistent small voice in a rear car seat repeating, “Nancy Pincus made a picture with turds,” by way of excusing the mishap.

Community News

The combined memberships of and the post-relevant 4Whut?Huh? websites will hold a $20 per seat charity spelling contest this Saturday at the Hoboken High School auditorium. Words to be used in the contest will be posted on the wall in the auditorium in 3 foot red letters. However, this is unlikely to shorten the affair, as the contestants have already decided they know how to spell the words and have characterized dictionaries as ‘elitist’.

All proceeds will go to benefit the “Fix Mommy’s Car / Nancy Pincus Made a Picture with Turds Fund.”

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Message from Mason

In case you're not on Beth Mason's email list (I'm not either) here is the message that she forwarded early this morning. It's her statement on the police redeployment and layoff-prevention plan announced by Mayor Zimmer yesterday.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Cruz-ing with Timmy

David Cruz, spokesman for the Occhipinti campaign, races his bike,
while his former boss, L. Harvey Smith, races to jail, one of 45 indicted for
corruption along with Hoboken's Peter Cammarano in Operation Big Rig

Look who's in the back seat of that speeding Jersey City Police car!

It's former acting Jersey City mayor and NJ state assemblyman L. Harvey Smith!

He's going (directly) to jail!

Too bad he doesn't have one of these:

Well, Mr. Smith was caught up in that same FBI sting that netted this guy:


So what do indicted criminal L. Harvey Smith and 4th Ward City Council candidate Timmy Cammarano... uh, I mean Occhipinti, have in common?

They have the SAME Communications Director, David Cruz. The guy on the bike.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Pants on Fire!


Tim (Carroll) on Tim (Occhipinti) in today's

But he hasn’t responded to a campaign pledge put out by his opponent last week calling for an armistice on paid campaign workers who vote absentee.

In these cases – one of the more common circumstances where paid votes are obtained – the voter’s vote can be verified by campaign backers, unlike in a voting booth, before payment is given on the basis of being a campaign worker, although rarely is work required.

Occhipinti said he has nothing to do with any absentee campaign. “I’m personally not pushing absentees.”

Oh, no you didn't, Timmy!

QUICK! Somebody grab an extinguisher and put out the fire on Timmy's pants!

If you are NOT pushing the absentee ballot harvest, then what were you doing at the Absentee Ballot Army RECRUITMENT meeting on Tuesday night?


Witnesses have you right there, while the 45 or so HHA residents in that room were indoctrinated into the cult of Occhipinti,being told why you must win and how they are going to help you with a bountiful harvest of absentee ballots.

Now, look who's supporting Timmy:

His coalition is building. A cadre of influential locals met to strategize recently: Assemblyman Ruben Ramos; 3rd Ward Councilman and local powerbroker Michael Russo; former Board of Ed president and real estate developer Frank Raia; 2009 mayoral special election contender and former municipal judge Kim Glatt; and businessman Michael Novak, a City Council candidate on Cammarano’s ticket last year.

Sound familiar?

Surely these exiles from Cammarano Island are supporting Timmy O. for his platform, his ideas about improving the 4th Ward, his stand on the issues...

Here are Timmy's thoughts on the issues, captured on his web site today:

No wonder Timmy's got The Machine behind him!

Look at his plans for the 4th Ward!

There they are... a blank page.

No wonder Timmy's getting so much help to fight the machine vote with a harvest of absentees.

No wonder.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Timmy's Absentee Ballot Army

Well folks, there's no time to waste...

A free and fair election for Hoboken's 4th Ward City Council seat is scheduled for November 2, 2010... and some folks CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

In order to win the battle against the machine vote, an Army has been recruited to harvest a crop of absentee ballots from HHA residents... and their recruitment meeting was held LAST NIGHT at Benny Love's, 302 Monroe Street.

Who are the Generals of this army?

In attendance at least night's meeting were the candidate himself, Timmy Occhipinti, Frank Raia, Matt Calicchio, and Perry Belfiore... and about 45 HHA residents... GA is waiting on more details.

GA has just confirmed from an attendee the above is correct.

Discussion included hiring captains for election day, attendees were told they'll spend whatever it takes, they'll do whatever it takes to win.

(Update, 6:00 pm)

My source just added this:

"And the #1 thing said by participants last night who were going to the absentee meeting was "Who's Tim?" Ha!"

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


What happened to the JESUS statue?
Photo: The Hoboken Journal

Do you like mysteries?

I don't.

I like to know whose hair is stuck in my cream cheese and why the mailman leaves my mailbox top open whenever it rains.

So when I heard from my gals in the Wallace playground that a statue of Jesus had gone missing from the front of The Academy of the Sacred Heart at 713 Washington... well...that drove me NUTS.

How does a statue just get up and walk off?

I mean, if anyone could perform a miracle like that it WOULD be Jesus... but why would he pick Hoboken?

Why pick a town where the hateful attack a person for an emotional conversation with a priest? The sanctity of such conversations should be respected. But they're not-- by a select few who crave the power of the mayor's office and the City Council majority.

So here's what I found in my Inbox today which solves the mystery of the missing religious statue:

The Catholic Church requires de-sanctification. That statue removal is part of it.


Cut me some slack, people. I'm not Catholic. So the removal of the statue had nothing to do with the will of it's future tenant, The Hoboken Charter School, but was driven by the Catholic Church in it's conversion from a religious to a secular function.


Now, perhaps this benign explanation will replace the opportunistic and cynical spin that's bound to come from the usual suspects.

(Updated 1:20 pm)
A lapsed Catholic friend just called to inform me that the statue was in fact of the Virgin Mary NOT Jesus, as another lapsed Catholic friend had informed me earlier today.

Yes, I checked in with a Catholic Consultant before writing this post, but that person apparently erred.

I did not change the above post, but I stand corrected.

10 Hail Marys.

(Updated 9/22/10, 9:00 am)

Oh, Jesus!

And I mean it this time.

Here's the email I received from my Catholic Consultant this morning:

Subject line: it seems jesus it is/was

If Margaret doesn't know no one knows.... I'm definitely doing penance for this one! Sorry for leading you astray. Never trust a lapsed Catholic!

The Hoboken Journal has the skinny on the statue's identity and fate (rescued, thank goodness), which my FORMER Catholic Consultant saw this morning. Now a few words for her.

Dear Catholic Consultant,

You are totally FIRED.

You need to do a couple dozen Hail Marys and get your ass in church once in a while. How about every blue moon?

Not only has your bad advice tainted my sterling reputation but you've got Jesus pissed off at me. This will have consequences for me in the Afterlife.

I'm not talking to you there, either.

Thanks a lot,

Monday, September 20, 2010

Earwitness News

Maybe Beth Mason is right.

Maybe GA is a "news outlet".

Because unlike that 'spinning-for-dollars' fact-laundering operation over at Hoboken411, GA aims for truth and accuracy.

So in response to 411's smear-'o-the-day: the mayor is accused of berating a priest(!) -- GA brings you an actual earwitness to the incident! Yes, an earwitness to the alleged harangue upon the ears of Father Vinny Fortunato (the haranguee) by Mayor Dawn Zimmer (the haranguer) following yesterday's annual Blue Mass for Police and Firefighters at the Church of St. Ann.

Our earwitness has come forward to tell GA that only 5 or 6 folks were in earshot of the quiet and emotional talk, and NOT ONE OF THEM spoke to H411, not ONE. Which means this: the proprietor of that sleaze-pit is getting (or manufacturing) his 'news' from malevolent sources willing to foment hate and division in order to inflict a body blow on the Zimmer administration.

For shame.

And now, our earwitness testimony:

I haven’t read the H411 piece and hope not to so I don’t know what their version of events was. What actually happened was that Mayor Zimmer spoke with Father Vinnie briefly in a quiet but emotional manner after the service. About 5-6 people, including me, were within earshot – I was about two or three feet away and could barely hear, so there were very few people who could possibly have actually heard the conversation. She said nothing inappropriate, but was clearly moved by the sermon. After I left, it is my understanding from someone there that the Russo’s attempted unsuccessfully to get Father Vinnie to say he was offended. To his credit he said instead that he was glad that she had attended the service. While the story they’re spreading has elements of truth, specifically that the mayor was emotional after the service, this is a molehill not a mountain, and the Russos are trying to use it (big surprise) to foment hate. The mayor and Father Vinnie, on the other hand, will both use it to try to promote understanding.

Thank you, earwitness. Nosy, aren't you?

Well, there you have it folks. A sermon so thoughtful and moving as to stir emotions of all there, and including those of our Mayor.

That's news?

Al's Jihad

Between atoning for a truckload of sin and some broken Commandments plus caring for my Little Avenger, I've fallen behind on reading: blogs, newspapers, etc.

That's why I count on YOU people. To tell me what's going on outside the GA bubble.

So's here's a shout-out to khoboken, who wrote this:

For more insight, check out the Political Insider column in the Hoboken reporter. More merriment and laughs. A thinly veiled reference to you, GA, forms the basis for the lamenting theme of the dirge about those awful bloggers and what can the true, responsible "politicos" do about them.

Thanks for the heads-up, k.

Now, Al Sullivan hates me. He privately calls me, "Toxic Avenger". Once he wrote about me, incorrectly calling my volunteer service on a municipal board a Zimmer appointment. When I emailed him a correction request because I was unanimously appointed by the City Council, not the mayor, it was ignored. Whatever. I don't dislike the guy.

So I read his latest column.

Well, Al's identified a big, BIG problem for Hoboken's POLITICIANS (read: Mike Lenz), and it's the BLOGS (read: Grafix Avenger, Hoboken Journal, MSV, the so-called Zimmer-friendly blogs).


Was Al complaining about the blogs when Hoboken411 was the only game in town, with a decidedly pro-Mason, then pro-Cammarano bent, posting rather viciously on Zimmer's allies and the mayor herself?

Did Al call this Hoboken411 beauty "scurrilous"?

No. Why should he?

Not when at least one virulent anti-Zimmer 'friend' of Hoboken411 is one of his 'sources' who plies him with his agenda-driven 'spin', or in his source's own words taken straight off his MySpace page:

Wow. This self-professed 'Spinmaster/Hired Gun' dishes to Sullivan, which the latter regurgitates on the pages of the Hoboken Reporter.

That's not "scurrilous". That's business.

Enter the 'alternative' blogosphere.

Folks like myself, Da Kurt, Da Horsey, who were moderated out of Hoboken411 then staked out a little piece of cyberspace to post uncensored, unmoderated opinion. Al calls us "scurrilous".

Fancy that.

Let me respond to the premise of his column, it was about the Occhipinti 622 absentee ballot leak on and the backlash on the blogosphere.

  • Al says: " political website reported that Occhipinti had taken a significant lead in absentee ballots, citing a source high in the Occhipinti camp."
  • GA answers: Wrong. said in the campaign"the info came from an "Occhipinti BACKER"... which could be his mother, girlfriend or ANY supporter. Here's the quote:"
But one Occhipinti backer said proudly this week that 622 was the tally already, and absentee maven Frank Raia had yet to join the envelope party."

That 'error' allows Sullivan to set up the next disingenuous scenario: Timmy's higher ups" crying foul, complaining that it's gotta be Lenz and the bad, nasty bloggers who say mean things about Timmy.

Oh, no. We mustn't have free speech that hurts our boy.

"“None of us let out any of that information,” said former Freeholder Maurice Fitzgibbons. “I spoke with Joe Del Priore and Mike Novak – the only other two people high up in this campaign, and they didn’t give out that information either.”"

This hasn’t stopped some of the more scurrilous Lenz-supporting bloggers from taking off with the misinformation, trying to paint Occhipinti as the next Peter Cammarano – who pleaded guilty to taking a bribe from Solomon Dwek in an FBI sting in 2009.

This has led several people in the Occhipinti camp to blame the Lenz camp for feeding the press with the misinformation. "

Ha ha ha ha... get it now?

The false premise of a "source high up" spreading a rumor which then boomarangs back to Lenz and Team Scurrilous.

As though printing that is any more scurrilous than what's written on the 'reform' blogs.

Check out Hoboken411 today, Mr. Sullivan... he's got a beauty.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Starting Over

It's that Day After (the Day of Atonement), and my conscience is clean as a whistle; purged and guilt-free, remorse-- all gone! I'm ready to start sinning again.

How about you?

We've got the next 364 days to disappoint the Almighty, so let's get cracking! Atonement Day 2011 is a long way away, and there's plenty of good karma to wreck. Shall we begin?

Or as the Japanese say: 行きましょか!

Here's a photo I found in my Inbox this morning:

So what, you say?

A bag of garbage and a loaded garbage can. What's the problem with that?

Well, you know that Realtors' mantra: location, location, location.

And I'm told this one is illegal. For a couple of reasons.

Not a hanging offense for sure. But a violation of a local sanitation disposal ordinance- perhaps, and certainly a crime of good neighbor-ship. Because when your neighbor dumps their crap where it doesn't belong, it impacts YOU and your enitre community... it's unsightly, possibly unsanitary, an invitation to critters for an all-you-can-eat buffet.

So WHO performed this selfish, thoughtless and INCONSIDERATE dumping of trash in their neighborhood, you ask?

Here's your answer:

Timmy Occhipinti, candidate for 4th Ward City Council!

That's his new campaign headquarters, if you didn't know. Imagine that. Dumping garbage illegally in the 4th Ward- using a public trash can for one's personal garbage AND putting it out on the wrong night. Now, Timmy'd better put those on his list for Atonement Day 2011.

I wonder if he'll get a summons...

Like I did for doing the same thing. Yes, I'm a sinner. A few days after leaving a bag of garbage on the corner of my street too early, I received a $75 summons in the mail with-- get this: a xeroxed photograph of my garbage with a time/date stamp on it!

YES... my bag of garbage was actually searched through and an identifying piece of mail traced it's ownership to me.... that's how it went down. $75.

You can bet your life I NEVER did that again. G-d and the City of Hoboken were avenged.

So, I wonder if Timmy O. will get similar treatment...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Yom Kippur

So, Yom Kippur begins at sundown. The Jewish Day of Atonement.

Catholics are lucky; they get to confess whenever they want.

Jews, on the other hand, have to remember their atoneable behavior for a whole year then have only one day to ask for G-d's forgiveness. Who can do all that in a day? That's the real reason Jews have to fast on Yom Kippur... there's no time to eat. Not when you're confessing to every damn thing you've done since the day after the last year's Yom Kippur. Jesus Christ. Now I'll bet he didn't have much atoning to do, being either the son of G-d or a regular guy depending upon which club you belong to.

Well, atonement is healthy --mentally and spiritually, and should be enjoyed by Jews and non-Jews alike. So I invite you all, whatever you are, to atone with me on Yom Kippur.

And here are a few people who need atoning, pronto:
  1. Me- isn't it obvious? See my avatar.
  2. Hoboken's City Council- how about having a pillow fight so we wouldn't mind watching you till 2 am?
  3. Griswell- for "the way he speaks to the ever-suffering Carol..." that's what he told me.
  4. Mike Lenz- where's the rest of him?
  5. Timmy Occhipinti- would you want your kids to swim in that pool?
  6. Lane Bajardi- rewind the tape, call the witnesses, where's the judge?
  7. Mayor Zimmer - too healthy
  8. Da Horsey/ Da Kurt- they have better camera equipment
  9. Fin Boy- for his clumsy swimming in Hoboken waters
  10. ________ (fill in the blank)
Now, I know I've left someone out. But you know who you are and what you did.

GA will be atoning tomorrow.

May the rest of you be forgiven for all of your sins and bad behavior although it's not looking good for any of us.

Push Me Poll You

So, was it a push-poll?

It sure felt like it*.

*Although an actual polling expert has checked in to say it was "message testing" instead... I'll get to that later.

So by 'it' I mean the New Jersey Opinion Research Poll which has swept through our town like a foul wind, blowing seeds of spin into the minds of participants... the missionof any push-poll.

I ask (and am answering) the question because a few have challenged that it was in fact an actual poll and not a push-poll.

First, you may either want to read the poll questions at GA , or hear the actual poll on video over at MSV ( big props to the Wiley Coyote for putting the vid together).

Lord Wiki says:

The mildest forms of push polling are designed merely to remind voters of a particular issue. For instance, a push poll might ask respondents to rank candidates based on their support of an issue in order to get voters thinking about that issue.

Many push polls are negative attacks on other candidates. These attacks often contain information with little or no basis in fact.

One way to distinguish between push polling as a tactic and polls which legitimately seek information is the sample size. Genuine polls make do with small, representative samples, whereas push polls can be very large, like any other mass marketing effort.

By these metrics, the so-called 'facts' and suppositions taken from the Mason-Swibinski playbook seem pretty push-poll-y to me, such as:

  • A '$20 million surplus' when only $12 million is available with the other $8 million being held for municipal workers' retroactive pay raises pending arbitration
  • The Mason municipal garage talking point which assumes the developer would have paid $25 million for a property worth $14 million
  • The deliberate exclusion of facts (such as the other 18 municipal workers being laid off in addition to police officers) that would moderate or threaten to dilute the participant's response
  • The polling a city-wide effort similar to a direct mail campaign
Is it a pure push-poll, designed only to implant a negative message and not to actually analyze results?

No. I think this poll serves both purposes.

Now... while I was writing this I found that an actual polling expert, Director of the Monmouth University Polling Institute, Patrick Murray, had dropped by GA with a comment that this was not a case of "push-polling" but one of "message-testing"...

Here is Mr. Murray's comment:

You weren't "push-polled" - you were "message-tested"


I will defer to Mr. Murray's expertise on the subject and read his article, parts 1 and 2.

It's the embedding of lies and talking points to influence the participants' opinion that seems to me the push in this poll.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

GA gets Push-Polled

Yes, I received on of those calls yesterday.

From a pollster who identified his polling group as The New Jersey Opinion Research Center calling from (800) 251-5850. It was a push-poll with sharply anti-Zimmer facts and figures tailored to the less-informed crowd, echoing talking points coming from Zimmer's loudest critics on the City Council (the usual suspects) and a few loose screws borrowed from Swibinski's 50K PBA /PSOA tool chest.

So the question is who paid for the poll? cites the opinion of one person, Tony Soares, who received the same call; he's also cited as the only poll responder "on record".

Add me to the record; the pollster took my name.

And I took notes during the poll, asking the pollster to slow down and repeat himself. So here are most of the questions, not verbatim, but nearly.

Now YOU decide who you think solicited this anti-Zimmer administration push-poll:

  • Do you feel Hoboken is on the right track or wrong track?
  • Rate your feelings about each person: favorable or unfavorable, somewhat or very:
Dawn Zimmer
Mike Russo
Mike Lenz
Gov. Christie
Ravi Bhalla
Brian Stack
Tim Occhipinti
Carol Marsh
Robert Menendez
Beth Mason
Tom DeGise
Barack Obama
Hoboken PBA

  • Rate Dawn Zimmer's job performance
  • Rate Ravi Bhalla's job performance
  • Rate Beth Mason's job performance
  • How certain would you be to support Zimmer if she runs again?
  • Who would you support for the next mayoral race: Dawn Zimmer or Carol Marsh?
  • Who would you support in the next Democratic Primary for Senate: Dawn Zimmer or Brian Stack?
  • Who would you support in the next Democratic Primary for Freeholder: Anothony Romano or Beth Mason?
  • Who would you support for the next County Executive: Beth Mason or Tom DeGise?
  • If you were told the City had a $20 million surplus, how would you want it used?
-to prevent police layoffs
-put in a fund to avoid future tax increases
- cut taxes now
  • Dawn Zimmer recently announced she's cutting 18 police jobs while the city has a $20 million surplus. Do you think she should use the money to:
-layoff the 18 police officers
-give the 18 police officers their jobs back
  • DO you AGREE or DISAGREE with the following statements:
  1. Beth Mason cares about people like me
  2. Dawn Zimmer cares about people like me
  3. When Dawn Zimmer became mayor she promised to cut taxes by 25%
  4. Dawn Zimmer is bringing all factions of Hoboken togeether
  5. Every incumbent should be voted OUT
  6. Beth Mason is standing up for good government
  • Would you be more or less likely to vote for Dawn Zimmer again for mayor if you KNEW:
  1. She was giving large raises to personal aides while she was laying off 18 police officers?
  2. That recently Mayor Dawn Zimmer and her City Council pulled out of selling our municipal garage to a developer for $25 million and now the city's responsibile for paying back the $15 million it borrowed against the garage and will lose $10 million that the City would have grossed from the sale?
  • Which of the following news outlets do you read regularly to get information on Hoboken and Hoboken politics?
  1. The Hoboken Journal
  2. Grafix Avenger (ha ha ha ha... they call THIS a "news outlet"?.. ha ha ha)
  3. Hoboken411
  4. The Jersey Journal
  5. The Hoboken Reporter
  6. Mile Square View
  • Do you watch City Council meetings?

Well, what do you think?

In spite of some speculation on that it was a 'fake poll' I'd say this was the real thing. Because I'm one of those jerks that answers the phone for pollsters so I know the drill. This was the drill. AND... a Wallace 'mommy' who is disengaged from the political scene told me she got the same call; she lives in Councilman Cunningham's Ward. It looks like a pretty sweeping sampling is being taken around our city.

My favorite part of the poll was hearing Grafix Avenger called a "news outlet".

I almost busted a gut on that one.

I wonder if the person who wrote that question has ever BEEN here?

3rd Candidate?

The Jersey Journal's Morning Rush is reporting that a 3rd candidate, James Jeremy Sanford, for Hoboken's 4th Ward City Council seat has joined candidates Councilman Mike Lenz and Timmy Occhipinti.

Fact or another well-placed rumor like the "622 Occhipinti absentee ballots".

GA's awaiting the arrival of a little more meat on this bone.

(Update, 11:00 am)
Meat has arrived!

I just spoke w/a source who told me a little bit about Mr. Sanford. He's a 23 year-old Chinese-American Right-Wing Republican (the Tea-baggy kind) who is "not running to win" but "running to build the Republican voting bloc in Hoboken".

Hmmm... that rings a bell.

My source told me he is a member of the Red Elephants, Nathan Brinkman's Republican Group., which GA has yet to confirm. If you remember, Mr. Brinkman masterminded the all-Republican slate, Real Results, to challenge non-partisan Kids First last Spring in the non-partisan BoE election. With abysmal (real) results.

Well, fancy that. Real Results- The Sequel.

This is very interesting...

Political junkies, grab your popcorn.

(Update, 11:55 am)
Blogger ss1959, knows Mr. Sanford and has provided the following clarification:

He is actively involved in the Hoboken Municipal Republican Committee and is not part of Nathan's group as far as I know.He was elected as a member of the winning Republicans of Hoboken slate.

Hopefully, Mr. Sanford will issue his bio and campaign platform soon so we can learn more about him.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Reached For Comment – No. 6

Edited by Griswell

Dueling protests are planned for city hall tonight as furor mounts on all sides over Mayor Dawn Zimmer’s handling of the police contracts and layoffs. In a bizarre example of unharmonic convergence, sworn enemies –both pro- and anti-layoff, BnR’s and yuppie scum alike - will find themselves on the same side of an issue tonight.

Demanding Zimmer’s head on plate.

At one time all seemed to be going to plan for this native of exotic New Hampshire. Elected on promises to cut taxes and right-size municipal government, Zimmer began her term with the deliberation thought to be characteristic of her distant bicycle-powered island nation. But after settling into office and persuading Governor Christie to collect his fiscal crossing guard, Zimmer set about the task she was elected to perform, starting with re-orging and cutting staff in city hall and the police department. Or so we were led to believe...

So clever was the Zimmer deception that a recent anti-Zimmer ad – quite possibly the work of Zimmer loyalists posing as her opposition: a favorite Zimmer ‘dirty trick’ – trumpeted her ‘20% reduction’ in the police force with ’37 job cuts’.

RFC microphones caught up with police union president Sal F. Parodi (“It’s pronounced puh-Roddy” he corrected, indefatigably).

Asked to explain the ad’s arithmetic, which presupposes a force of 185 before the proposed reductions, Sergeant Parodi explained, “I don’t have much talent for math.”

To the suggestion that it would have taken little effort to multiply the number of cuts by 5 to see if the ‘20% reduction’ statement passed muster, he elaborated, “I don’t have much talent for effort.”

He declined to comment on the observation that the three biggest arrests in the last 10 years were two mayors and a Parking Utility director and concluded our interview at that point. “Anything else? It’s puh-Roddy, got that? Puh-Roddy. Not Parrot-y, not Parody. Puh-Roddy, mmkay?”

It’s easy enough to comprehend the resentment of the unfortunately named spokesbot. But what was it that stirred up rebellion in the ranks of Zimmer’s former supporters? Reached for Comment wanted to find out.

Upon closer examination, RFC has discovered that Zimmer will not be cutting 37 officers as claimed in her self-promoting self-attacking ad. Moreover, the officers will not be ‘fired’ as the ad boasts but laid off with benefits intact and positioned to be re-hired by the city should the need arise. And now for the real dirt.


But first, a few words about our hosts.

Folks, how many times has this happened to you? You’re just back from a business trip, just finishing papering over all the clubbing and call-girl charges and shoe-horning them into the old expense report, and now you just want to kick back and catch up on what’s been going on this crazy mixed up town.

That’s the time you turn to [Insert name of whatever loser outlet bought the feed. And, Carol, ‘bought the feed’ means they sent a check for $15 dollars, ok? The check has to have a dollar amount and a signature. And you should be able to get the phone number of the bank from information and call them. For example, the First National Bank of Scooby Snacks is not a real bank. If you had called them – and you may be the only person on earth who needs to do this – you would’ve found that out. ]

You know people ask me all the time, Griswell, how does an in-the-know guy like you get that way and stay that way. It’s quite simple, friend. I read [re-insert subscriber’s name if the check miraculously clears] every [insert frequency of publication – hour, week, month, geological epoch]. It’s got the news I need organized the way I want it, without all those doggone facts and that annoying source checking that doctors say promote gingivitis and may lead to shortness of pants.

So if you’re like me – and I know I sure am – there’s only one place to turn for all the latest. Your friends – and mine - at [whatever the hell].


Our Reached for Comment legal department pored over the documents for upwards of tens of minutes until we found Zimmer’s dirty little secret hidden in the fine print.

Mayor Zimmer is actually adding – yes ADDING – 19 officers, including a lieutenant and 7 new sergeants! Just take a look at the counts by rank before and after her supposed ‘cuts’. This means the net change is a reduction of 18 officers (or imaginary-number percent, according to Sergeant Parodi’s math). Her claim of 37 jobs cut is pure flapdoodle, hold the mayo!

This is austerity? This is belt-tightening? Or is it the same old you-scratch-my-back-I’ll-pore-lotion-on-your-thighs-and-kiss-your-tonsils patronage game?

Fiscal Rottweiler, Sock Stiegel, had this to say for RFC cameras. “This hiring binge will not stand. Soon-to-be-ex Mayor Zimmer has stirred the wrong hornet’s nest this time. We intend to blog feverishly, long into the late afternoon at That’s Put a Sock On It, all one word, dot blogspot, dot com.” The highly influential site, which continues to enjoy literally dozens of hits per eternity, should be sizzling almost to room temperature with this outrage hanging in the air.

Other local dot-communists were similarly en flambé at the revelation. Kerfuffle Grande and Stony Juarez took time out from burning a fatty in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot to offer, “Not cool. Not cool at all. What? I thought you drove. I drove? Not cool. Not cool at all.”

Councilperson Meth Raisin cited a pattern of incompetence. “It was a terrible idea to let the officers go. It’s an equally terrible idea to replace the officers and proof of Zimmer’s unfitness for office. I’ll be away next week. Should any new ideas come from the mayor’s office in my absence, please accept in advance my categorization of whatever they are as terrible and proof of Zimmer’s unfitness for office.”

Otherwise unemployable Raisin apologist, Jane DeBlarney, amplified mommy’s assertions with his trademark oedipal venom. “Zimmer must die. And Nancy Pincus made a picture with turds. I love my mommy. Other mommies must die,” he foamed as Raisin gave a sharp tug on his safety leash.

Meanwhile, buoyed by what a panel of linguistics experts have determined to be ‘support’ on the popular English-as-a-second-language website,, Sergeant Parodi had a warning for all who would listen. “This ain’t over. Far from it, my friend. We have $20,000 worth of spite theatre left based on what we paid Mr. Squid. That’s puh-Roddy, kay?” he thundered from his stall in the men’s room at 1 Police Plaza.

Parodi added that he is planning an All-Star civil disturbance at city hall, including ‘a lot of out-of-town talent’, a performance by The Nerds, and bringing back Steve Huddock to sing ‘a little Sinatra’. There will be a 50/50 raffle at 10 PM. 2 drink minimum. Have proper ID or a Stop the Zimmer Layoffs shirt. The foam is guaranteed to flow.

From the other end of the political spectrum but no less foamy, give a big Council Chambers welcome if you will for the protest stylings of … the Sock Puppets! It wasn’t so long ago that this mirthless band were singing along to Lerner and Loewe’s “Zimelot” in Columbus Park while Cake Boss fed the masses, and an angel got its wings. PELT, Scary Harlot, Kerf and Stony, and the rest of your favorites. But now they’re just another angry mob fighting for recognition and the big prize against other angry mobs on tonight’s edition of “Hoboken’s Got a Strange Talent.”

Someone’s goin’ down!

Anyone who still doubts the maxim ‘Politics is show business for ugly people’ – contact me after the show. If you still have the strength.

And stay tuned. RFC will be back. You can’t make this stuff up. Heaven knows you tried.

With malice toward all -Griswell.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

New (Interim) Punching Bag Hired!

Congratulations to attorney Mark. A. Tabakin, Esq. of Weiner Lesniak, LL, hired by Mayor Dawn Zimmer for the role of Interim Punching Bag (a.k.a. Interim Corporation Counsel) and will appear in tomorrow's episode of Abuse Theater held in the City Council Chambers at City Hall.

We look forward to witnessing Mr. Tabakin's stamina under intense pummeling and full-throated grandstanding by our favorite show-ponies, which will likely include a cameo by our buttery- voiced, ever-angry, foot-stompin' bloviator... you-know-who.

So bring your own popcorn, a Sympathy card and a tourniquet... it may get bloody.