Yom Kippur

So, Yom Kippur begins at sundown. The Jewish Day of Atonement.

Catholics are lucky; they get to confess whenever they want.

Jews, on the other hand, have to remember their atoneable behavior for a whole year then have only one day to ask for G-d's forgiveness. Who can do all that in a day? That's the real reason Jews have to fast on Yom Kippur... there's no time to eat. Not when you're confessing to every damn thing you've done since the day after the last year's Yom Kippur. Jesus Christ. Now I'll bet he didn't have much atoning to do, being either the son of G-d or a regular guy depending upon which club you belong to.

Well, atonement is healthy --mentally and spiritually, and should be enjoyed by Jews and non-Jews alike. So I invite you all, whatever you are, to atone with me on Yom Kippur.

And here are a few people who need atoning, pronto:
  1. Me- isn't it obvious? See my avatar.
  2. Hoboken's City Council- how about having a pillow fight so we wouldn't mind watching you till 2 am?
  3. Griswell- for "the way he speaks to the ever-suffering Carol..." that's what he told me.
  4. Mike Lenz- where's the rest of him?
  5. Timmy Occhipinti- would you want your kids to swim in that pool?
  6. Lane Bajardi- rewind the tape, call the witnesses, where's the judge?
  7. Mayor Zimmer - too healthy
  8. Da Horsey/ Da Kurt- they have better camera equipment
  9. Fin Boy- for his clumsy swimming in Hoboken waters
  10. ________ (fill in the blank)
Now, I know I've left someone out. But you know who you are and what you did.

GA will be atoning tomorrow.

May the rest of you be forgiven for all of your sins and bad behavior although it's not looking good for any of us.