Friday, July 30, 2010

The Generals

Folks, I will be taking the next week off-- it is the summer, you know. Don't I deserve it?

Alright, maybe not. But I need it.

I was thinking of either going to Fiji or Brighton Beach, perhaps sunning myself on bank of the Seine or the Shipyard lawn, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hitting some malls in Secaucus. What would you do?

I'll leave you with some food for thought.

Yesterday LA (Little Avenger) directed me to the following poem by the wonderful Shel Silverstein, declaring it was her "favorite". It's actually quite profound, and given the state of affairs in our little bit of Hoboken heaven can be applied here as a cautionary tale and an appeal to reason.

by Shel Silverstein

Said General Clay to General Gore,
"Oh must we fight this silly war?
To kill and die is such a bore."
"I quite agree," said General Gore.

Said General Gore to General Clay,
"We could go to the beach today
And have some ice cream on the way."
"A grand idea," said General Clay.

Said General Clay to General Gore,
"We'll build sand castles on the shore."
Said General Gore, "We'll splash and play."
"Let's leave right now," said General Clay.

Said General Gore to General Clay,
"But what if the sea is closed today?
And what if the sand's been blown away?"
"A dreadful thought," said General Clay.

Said General Gore to General Clay,
"I've always feared the ocean's spray,
And we may drown!" "It's true, we may.
It chills my blood," said General Clay.

Said General Clay to General Gore,
"My bathing suit is slightly tore.
We'd better go on with our war."
"I quite agree," said General Gore.

Then General Clay charged General Gore
As bullets flew and cannons roared.
And now, alas! there is no more
Of General Clay or General Gore.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Water Under the Barn

In case you didn't know, yesterday's blog post stirred up some hay Da Horsey's barn!

Did you know we are friends? We are.

So I was a bit taken aback that he didn't call me first to talk before the eruption on MSV. And before the fusillade of harsh assesments ('water carrier', 'damage controller', 'defender of patronage') were sent my way like preprogrammed ICBMs. Frankly, that's something I would not have done... shoot first and ask questions later.

But anyway... I want to call it water under the barn.

If I have learned anything in t he past 24 hours from this, it's NEVER, EVER, EVER download original content from a friend before asking permission. I am not particularly organized, and that wasn't on my radar yesterday at the time. My bad. NEVER AGAIN.

So I wanted to address it today, since it's all out there.

AND put it all in some perspective.

Which was done for me by my friend and confidante, whom you know as InfotainMe. He's enough on the outside of the Hoboken scene, yet knows all the players and politics, well-positioned to offer such perspective.

I asked for his take last night. Here's what he said:

I think there is something healthy here. Reform is not a monolith...

Given how long it has taken to get here and what had to be overcome, I think a reaction or even a slight over-reaction to what is perceived as back-sliding is not the worst thing.

By the same token, pointing to the over-reaction, the thoughtlessness of some of the remarks, is quite appropriate. Few people have Tony's record of service to the city. Turning on him because he is abrasive is wrong. Do people think someone with his challenges was going to accomplish all he did without ever being abrasive?

What do Lane and the others always say. Zimmertini's. Following scripts. Listening to the puppetmaster. Drinking the koolaid. They would love to be saying that now, but can't.

We shouldn't fear having some differences of opinion. We should manage them better.

Mister, you rock.

That's a healthy perspective, and a true one. I think we all (myself included) need to check ourselves periodically re:managing our differences of opinion. No one's above acting badly, overreacting, screwing up or inflicting unintentional cruelty. A little introspection and humility will go a long way. As long as all of our hearts are in the right place. I was told (in a manner of speaking) that mine wasn't, which didn't feel good.

But that's water under the barn.

Since Da Horsey seemed to find the Godzilla-Soares graphic amusing, and I know him to like rock, I offer him a gift of music today... one of my favorite classic rock tunes: Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla".

And you know what they say about music and taming the savage... uh, horse.

This one's for you, Smartypants.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Much Ado About Tony


In the past 2 weeks, Tony Soares has been killed more times than Rasputin.

Don't know him? You must live under a rock.

He's the current Chairman of the Zoning Board of Adjustment and Commissioner on the North Hudson Sewage Authority. In the 90's he was a founding member of Guardians of the 4th Ward, Mayoral Cable Advisory Committee member (worked to obtain Public Access channels for Hoboken, wired all schools for cable tv, obtained 100K funding to equip Hoboken High with TV studio technology and hardware), Go West Committee member (obtained thousands of signatures to redirect Light Rail to the west side of Hoboken), Hoboken Alliance for Lower Taxes founder (published a quarterly newspaper on taxes, development and education), and was a City Councilman from 1995- 2001. I've actually left out a lot of his other volunteer work and accomplishments, so you will have to request a copy of his resume which he will provide to you at no cost.

Well, he may charge you for the paper. And the printing. And the 8 x 10 glossys are definitely not free.

Now, you're thinking... Jeez, what an ass-kisser.


This is commentary on the commentary. Commentary on the discourse.

Some of it has hit the right target, which would address actions and/or behavior. Go, go, go! Speak until it hurts. Hammer away.

Unfortunately, in my view much of the harshest discourse has been driven by personal animus toward Soares. And I saw some bullying. Example: he was attacked for not posting. Why? It's indefensible, people. Thou shalt post is not the Eleventh Commandment.

Maybe he didn't feel like it.

More: some folks standing on reform principle were furious at Soares yet have given Amar Bhalla a pass. Which tells me it's the person and not the principle.

I suppose the impetus to blog all this comes from the ubiquitous photo of Tony and Michelle Russo chatting outside of City Council chambers.

Do you know, there's a photo of me floating around , chatting with Pol Pot-- leader of the Khmer Rouge and killer of nearly 2 million Cambodians. He actually has his arm around me. We may even be kissing. Well, it was our second date.

Oh, I kid.

But, it's true about the photo. I was chatting with Pol Pot. We actually exchanged recipes. I gave him mine for banana bread, and he gave me his for amok trey. It's delicious, but spicy.

Do you know, after that photo was published in the U.S, I got arrested? No sh*t. Fraternizing with the enemy. Plotting. Planning. My neighbors called me a traitor. In fact, a mob of them drove my entire family out of town with flaming torches and pitchforks. Straight to Hoboken!

That's the power of images. An image used as a narrative.

Speaking of which, isn't it funny how the worst qualities and motivations of the 'bad' person are transferred onto the other one they're photographed with?

It never works the other way.

Photo: original photo, Mile Square View.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Heavenly Deal

And it is!

As you may have read on legitimate news sources, yesterday the mayors of Hoboken and Weehawken entered a state of grace together.

Eschewing petty politics to divine a solution to Hoboken's municipal garage headache, the neighbors hashed out a made-in-heaven agreement to SHARE space for joint use and and storage at 1714-16 Willow Avenue ( in Hoboken, by the way).

Surely the Lord smiled upon Mayors Zimmer and Turner, with the help of angelic Freeholder Anthony Romano, to prevent the closure of Clinton between 15th and 16th Streets; no less than a miracle in the eyes of Hoboken commuters.

From our city's announcement yesterday:

The day after Hoboken’s City Council voted to approve the closure of Clinton Street between 15th and 16th Streets for the storage of municipal vehicles, an opportunity arose that appeared to meet the needs of both municipalities. In the past, the same location had been discussed as a potential joint use location by the administrations of Weehawken and Hoboken. Mayor Zimmer and Mayor Turner immediately began negotiations to move forward together to share services between the two municipalities. The agreement is for joint use and equitable sharing of storage space at 1714-16 Willow Avenue. Freeholder Anthony L. Romano assisted in helping to identify the site as a potential location.

On Friday, July 23, the City of Hoboken entered into an agreement with Willow Avenue Enterprises, LLC for vehicle and parts storage services at the proposed joint services site, 1714-16 Willow Avenue -- a property located within Hoboken city limits on the North end of the Willow Avenue bridge. As a result of this agreement, Clinton Street will not be closed to vehicular traffic at this time.

The initial period of the agreement is for 60 days but can be extended by both municipalities for two additional 180 day periods. The cost is $15,000 per month. Hoboken and Weehawken will use this period to determine whether extending this arrangement for a longer term is in the interests of both municipalities.
If this temporary arrangement is determined to continue, the municipalities will work towards a long-term solution which may involve other neighboring municipalities and agencies.

Blessed be those who work for the greater good of Hoboken, Weehawken, and all mankind on Earth.


Which leaves the others.

Those are 2 of the last appearances of smear-creature Hudson Shark's other suspected screen identities, nocluedawn and horsesbehind prior to announcement of the deal yesterday.

Since the announcement, not a fin nor flipper to be seen on his murky hunting ground.


Or was the Dual Job Fish put on lockdown?

In case you haven't been following the whole sordid fish tale, Hudson Shark, who attacks Hoboken residents and officials on his web site, and is a prolific smear-blogger under a variety of screen names, is believed to be someone with very close ties to Weehawken officials.

In fact, Weehawken taxpayers are footing the bill for his 2 positions with Weehawken township! Yes, our suspect is a Dual Job Fish.

Rich, considering when hidden behind his fishy pseudonym he's railed against dual-office holding-- at least when it applies to our mayor.

Not only that, Weehawken taxpayers... Check the times on the (2) posts: they are 9:35 am and 9:49 am, respectively. Aren't those city business hours?

Does our fish have some 'splaining to do?

Indeed, Mayor Turner of Weehawken has shown himself to be a true friend and partner to our city and our mayor.

Thank you, Mayor Turner for working so cooperatively with Mayor Zimmer. Residents of Hoboken hope this partnership will last long into the future.

No thank you, to the Dual Job Fish. May your nasty blogging career and jihad against Mayor Zimmer end, either out of self-interest or under the advisement of your masters. It doesn't matter.

Just get out of our town; leave Hoboken residents and officials alone.

(updated, 2:30 pm)
Dual Job Fish predictably raised his double-dipping fin within minutes of being called out on this blog.

A thin-scaled fish, when coaxed to the surface he reveals more about himself and his pathology-- a desperation for others to recognize he's a 'player' in Hudson County politics with 'connections'.

Below, our Dual Jobber confirms he's not from Hoboken, and boasts insider's knowledge that Mayor Turner is "using" Mayor Zimmer.

Some covert operative. This is the kind of guy who'd help you bury a body then brag about it on Facebook.

As political ops go, this self-professed "hired gun" is more like a loose cannon. For anyone who has worked with this fellow and expects discretion, be very afraid.

Monday, July 26, 2010

More on SSC...

the acronym for 'Secaucus Swim Center', and the topic of yesterday's blog entry.

I was so busy describing some of the horrific Secaucus facilities that I left a few out. As well as information useful to masochists who dabble in self-flagellation, cutting, piercing their genitals and spending afternoons at the Secaucus Swim Center.

Of course, between the Hoboken and Secaucus facilities, the choice is clear:

Hoboken's municipal swimming tub vs. Secaucus' municipal pool

Hoboken rocks!

Yes, I've posted that image before, but get used to it. You'll be seeing a lot of it.

First things first: getting there.

If you are reading this, then Google it yourself on your laptop or desktop or snappy wireless hand-held gadget-- you big show off. Think you're pretty hot stuff, huh? If you're lazy or have that nasty Google Redirect virus, click here for a map.

Next, unless you have a membership, you'll need some cash to get in, as well as an ID. From Hoboken. Or any other municipality authorized to use their facility. Here are the fees, per person:

click any graphic to enlarge
Now you're in. (By the way, there's a huge parking lost across the street, and it's free.)

If you're hungry and didn't pack a picnic lunch, then you can buy something at their food concession, which looks like this:

As you can guess, there isn't one thing on their menu that won't spackle your arteries shut and send you to an early grave. Give it a try!

The menu:

And finally, the play equipment, curiously located by the adult pool, a.k.a. sanctuary from your children.

And that's it. So now you know your kids can suffer in Secaucus, too.

Or just stay in Hoboken and pay your taxes.

(Updated, 5:30 pm)
Oh for f*ck's sake, I forgot to post this f*cker.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Secaucus Swim Center

Yesterday I visited Hoboken's public pool at the Boys and Girls Club (123 Jefferson) to check out the facilities, and boy was I impressed!

I wrote all about it here.

It's one thing to be stuck paying astronomical Hoboken taxes, but another to know our money is being spent on such luxuries as an aluminum backyard pool that can provide our population of 40,000 with minutes of summer fun!

And that is one astro turf-trimmed dream.

Who knew it could sustain the weight of our town's entire youth population when they turned out yesterday for a dip? This is one of the hottest summers on record, so thank goodness we have a big bucket 'o tin to keep us cool.

If you are 12 years old or under, that is.

Are you?

If so, then you can go in our public pool. But if you are 4 or under, no can do.

And here it is:

Hoboken's public pool at the Boys and Girls Club

Wow. Just, wow.

Now that you've seen the luxury your tax dollars have bought you, I have another NJ municipality's pool facility to show you. For comparison. And when you see it, you'll realize how lucky we are in Hoboken.

Wait until you see this dump.

The Secaucus Swim Center, which is located in the nearby town of Secaucus, New Jersey.

I was curious to go since many parents talked about it yesterday as they baked in the sun waiting for their child's 5-minute shift in our pool.

They muttered things like "can you believe that pool in Secaucus?" and "why do we always have to swim in Secaucus ?" and "this doesn't compare to the one they have in Secaucus!' It was obvious from such remarks that the Secaucus facility simply couldn't measure up to that prefabricated bucket of backyard fun Hoboken provides for us. I simply had to check it out.

Oh, the horror. As I said above wait until you see this dump that the taxpayers of Secaucus have to put up with.

I'll give you a tour.

Here's the first pool (there are 2 more plus a water park feature for tots)

click on any photo to enlarge


And that big, blue wiggly thing in the back... what the hell is it?

Here's a close-up:

Who would think of throwing their child down a garbage chute?

Thank goodness
we don't have anything like that for our hot, bored Hoboken children.

Next is the diving pool:

Who needs that? A bunch of kids waiting to jump off a plank? Ridiculous. Thank goodness Hoboken doesn't have one of those.

Another view:

Can you stand it? If not, look away. I'm about to show you the lap pool.

Adults only. So if you can't stand noisy little critters- like the ones that get to swim in Hoboken instead of you-- then this pool is for you.

Another view:

And that water is so.... blue. Yuk.

Now that you've seen Secaucus' 3 swimming pools, here's their 'waterpark feature' for tots:

Not impressed. Are you?

Another view:

Now I urge you, readers to look at what our town has done for us... and thank your lucky stars for Hoboken's generosity.

If you don't believe me, take a look at this side-by-side view of Hoboken's public pool and one at the Seacaucus Swim Center.

Well? Where would you rather swim?

Hands down, I'd rather swim in our bucket! Only I can't.

I'm over 12.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

There's Room for Everyone!

Kids beat the heat at the Boys and Girl's Club public pool today

Unlike those 2 show-offs at MSV and Hoboken Journal who attend local events with really nice camera equipment and tell you people what's going on in Hoboken, I prefer to stay home.

Until TODAY with it's brutal, scorching heat; I figured some ace-reporting poolside was called for at the Boys and Girls Club's public swimming pool (123 Jefferson Street).

I was disappointed to find I was a few decades over the age limit, but heartened that every single child between the ages of 5 and 12 living in the city of Hoboken showed up today to use our public pool!

They queued up in hot, sweaty, thirsty lines as the above-ground, backyard pool would only accommodate 300 children at a time standing upright side-by-side. Pool shifts were limited to 5 minutes per child, to make sure that each youngster in our town of 40,000 got a turn.

The kids had a blast!

They stood upright in the cool water, wedged together in gratitude for having a place to cool off during the heatwave. Some sang songs as they stood. Others wiggled their toes. A few blinked.

In fact some had such fun that when their 5 minutes were up, they went to the back of the line-- which wrapped around Jefferson Street-- to wait for a second dip. Waiting time was estimated to be about 5 hours.

Parents were heard muttering such things as "I pay these f*cking outrageous Hoboken taxes and my kids swims in a goldfish bowl?" and "What the f*ck is wrong with a town this size that doesn't have a decent-sized pool for it's overtaxed residents?" and even "Why the f*ck do I have to drive to Secaucus to wet my ass?".

The spewing of profanities around children was uncomfortable, but many parents seemed dazed from standing in the intense heat, waiting for their child's shift. Several fainted. Others mumbled incoherently.

Medics were on had to aid children and adults who'd passed out. In total, 57 cases of heat stroke were reported, and 17 dehydrated children were rushed to the emergency room at Hoboken University Medical Center, where fluids were administered by IV.

What a terrific day it was at the pool!

Make sure to bring your kiddies tomorrow- it's going to be another scorcher.

So come on down...

There's room for everyone!

Friday, July 23, 2010

HATE, Part 2

Ace reporter Andrew Tavani of reports on the bias crime in midtown Hoboken, the subject of yesterday's blog post.

Tavani writes:

According to New Jersey State Police Crime Reports and Statistics, in 2008 (the most recent year for which statistics are available), of the 82 bias incidents that occurred statewide, 11 happened in Hudson County. (In 2007, only one such incident was reported in Hudson County.)

"It's a sad and upsetting occurrence," United Synagogue of Hoboken Rabbi Robert Scheinberg said in a telephone interview.

When it comes to bias incidents involving private property, Jews are most often victimized in New Jersey. In 2008, of the 219 total bias incidents involving private property reported statewide, 107 of those incidents were targeted at members of the Jewish community, according to the 2008 Crime Reports and Statistics Report.

I guess the twisted logic deployed in the destruction of private property is that Jews are financially advantaged, have more of that green stuff, and basically control the banking system of the entire world, not to mention a couple of nearby planets.

I can tell you this isn't true.

Except for the planets part-- ever see Spaceballs?

See? Look at all those Jews in space. What did I tell you?

Back to the money myth.

Some of us do have buckets of the green stuff; George Soros is an example my poor, jealous Republican friends like to use. But most of us are just like most of you-- except for the horns.

Those things sure get in the way.

No doubt you've heard (maybe used) the "cheap" pejorative. I admit some of us are cheap. But don't tell me you've never met a cheap Italian, German, Irishman, Canadian... you can keep on going forever. That frigging Shakespeare and his Shylock character; my people will never live that down. Thanks, Bill.

Well, don't tell me I'm cheap. Every time I order Chinese, I tip the delivery guy 2 bucks. And he doesn't seem to mind when I ask him for 75 cents back.

Onto other unflattering stereotypes: did you know that Jews have gigantic hook noses (see illustration above) and got hit with the ugly stick?

Is that true? I do know some pretty unsightly ones. But did you know that Ginger on Gilligan's Island was one of The Chosen?

One hot Jewess

Yes, I can attest to such prejudice. When I was about 13, the mother of a school chum told me: you're too pretty to be Jewish. Food for thought when I went back home to my ugly mother, hook-nosed father, and homely hook-nosed and shrewish sisters.

See how stupid people are?

Just like the schmuck who painted on the Hoboken building. Who, by the way is going to be caught. Tavani mentions some surveillance video that is being reviewed by the police. Ha ha. I hope you're sweating out there.

And given the local media attention the story's getting, whoever you are, you're screwed. Because when the cops catch you, they'll throw the book at you, and I don't mean Mein Kampf. Yes, you will rot in jail, where I promise to bring you a cake with a gefilte fish baked inside-- the Semitic version of New Orleans' King Cake.

The pic below is from Patch; the defaced property after it had been washed off with the paint barely visible:

photo credit: Andrew Tavani

Nice work, creep.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Bad Spelling? Or HATE.

In today's Hoboken Reporter online edition:

In a town where the first Jewish mayor was elected last November, an act of graffiti that police are labeling a bias crime occurred some time before Wednesday morning, according to a police report.

According to the report, filed Wednesday, an unknown person spray-painted the word “JEW” with an arrow pointing toward a second-floor window of a four-story brick residential building in central Hoboken.

The incident was labeled “criminal mischief” and a bias incident in the report.

My first thought was the vandal meant to write 'CHEW' in which case the incident should be labeled "bad spelling". Do you think so? Maybe not. Maybe he (or she) meant to write 'JEW on that wall. Letting everyone know there was a Jew in the building. How thoughtful.

It's nice to be recognized.

Another Jew occupies an office over at 94 Washington Street. I hear she's been attracting the same kind of attention. Though it hasn't moved beyond the hateful ops on internet message boards to the walls of City Hall.


Hoboken's first Jewish mayor, Dawn Zimmer

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Subject Changer

A friend of mine called me a 'subject changer' the other day, so since that's what I feel like doing today, here we go! With a gift to my critics.

Happy Bitterness Day! Merry Malevolence!

Whatever it is, the rhetoric and focus on our blogs have taken a cannibalistic turn and need a vacation. I call it a subject changer.

So, let's turn our attention to... Timmy O's web site!

Specifically, the curious way the 4th Ward City Council candidate (whom I admire) is standing behind the main center page frame with just the very top of him exposed. An interesting design choice. Instead of taking a cropped photo, the designer actually stood Timmy behind the white frame so the bottom 2-thirds of him were concealed:

Why? What's he wearing under there? What's he trying to hide?

Which got me thinking about transparency and all. Now, all our candidates for public office talk about 'transparency'... it's a kind of political buzz word. Transparency-- GOOD. Opacity--BAD. When I say 'transparency' you get a chewy biscuit.

So, if our candidates believe in transparent governing, then they ought to believe in transparent web design. The people need to see what our candidates are wearing, and if they are trying to hide something... strange... awful... different... unique?

In the spirit of transparent governing, and transparent web design... I am introducing a GA feature called What's Underneath? In which I will imagine what is really going on behind that white frame, providing transparency for you, the reader.

Today's installment:

Now, to my critics... I've just validated your accusations of undignified behavior and given you something to download and bring to the next City Council meeting.

Don't thank me.

Instead please donate to your favorite charity, or join the bone marrow registry and save a life- click here.

If you do join the registry, please use promo code teamconnor. You can find Connor's story here.

For the next installment of What's Underneath?, suggestions from readers are welcome. Or your own submissions.

Note to Timmy:
This is all in fun. And will be combined with a drive to raise bone marrow registry participation and awareness. Thanks for assisting in this effort.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Confession: I rarely check the gmail account associated with this blog, For no particular reason other than I forget to do it.

Well, I did use it the other day to contact Al Sullivan, and was delighted to find a few surprises in my Inbox: an email from an ex-boyfriend who now reads GA from Long Island, another from a close college buddy who vanished years back without leaving tracks, and a Blogger DMCA Takedown Notification.

Now the first 2 require no explanation, but... does anyone know what a Blogger DMCA Takedown Notification means?

DMCA stands for Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

From the actual notice:

A bit of background: the DMCA is a United States copyright law that provides guidelines for online service provider liability in case of copyright infringement. If you believe you have the rights to post the content at issue here, you can file a counter-claim. For more information on our DMCA policy, including how to file a counter-claim, please see

Now, I thought that was fascinating. It was not a threatening notice, in fact Blogger didn't delete the blogpost in question, but merely moved it to my 'Draft' folder. I was curious, though, which post that had allegedly infringed on another's copyright was removed. I hadn't noticed one was missing.

It was the post titled "Mayor Zimmer Bad Gardener". Zapped!

Did you see it?

It was a parody of the H411 story on the pool at the Boys and Girl's Club pool closure due to budget constraints, with quotes from 4th Ward Candidate Timmy Occhipinti who happens to sit on the Boys and Girl's Club advisory board but was unaware about the May city-wide notification and budget constraints that forced a 6-week summer schedule .

The entire GA blogpost was actually a .jpeg-- the only portions which were not Photoshopped over completely were the top portions and the photograph. The bottom (text) is all PhotoShopped using a matching font.

So, who filed a 'copyright infringement' complaint concerning H411 content with Blogger? Hmmmm...

Well, with respect to any original text or photographs, the original post is reprinted below with all the aforementioned redacted. In case you are confused which those are, I've noted them as "redacted" in red font- you can't miss it.

Now, I like to throw in a bit or irony whenever possible, and this episode is rife with it.

So, regarding the topic of "coyright infringement" or as I like to put it-- theft of intellectual property, that may be a can of worms for H411 to open. I have long observed the abundance of original graphics that site lifts on a regular basis, not only without attribution (a.k.a. 'credit') to the source, but he modifies them by adding the watermark "" along with text, etc.

That is a big, legal no-no in the world of intellectual property ownership.

Did I ever report this? No. Has anyone ever? Not to my knowledge. Quite frankly, it's not worth my time. But a fascinating case of the (black) pot calling the kettle black.

Here are some of the graphics H411 has stolen without attribution, and I would like to credit either or as the original sources. But I don't actually know which to credit.

All graphics below are original,copyrighted material modified by and originally published on as shown without attribution, and were downloaded and posted on Grafix Avenger to illustrate this point.

That's a smattering. There are plenty more.

I noticed this serial theft long ago, but wasn't going to blog it. But now it's relevant to point out the hypocrisy of complaining someone stole your cookies when you've got both hands in someone else's cookie jar.

For your information, see below.

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    Monday, July 19, 2010

    Spun Like a Top

    I've had an interesting email exchange with Al Sullivan, who many of you may know, trashed this blog and yours truly in his column this weekend.

    I won't reveal any of it, but can say that nothing said has changed my thinking nor I believe, his. So, here's what I think.

    Sullivan was spun. Hard.

    By someone with an agenda, and a vendetta- against this blog, against Zimmer, and against... hmmmm.... who do you think? Could it be... yours truly?

    Let's take a look.

    "...but “Grafix Avenger” has posted personal information on the blogs about one suspect along with vicious personal attacks on other public and non-public officials whom the Avenger perceives as enemies of Zimmer."

    Oh, my. What a load of crap, on so many levels.

    Is GA the only blog that has published information about "the suspect"? What "personal information"? You mean, the "personal information" the suspect published HIMSELF on his MySpace and Facebook pages?

    See for yourself- this was floating in cyberspace for 3 years on MySpace:

    Mr. Sullivan, please note I cropped out his actual personal information. Anything I have published about "the suspect" he has published himself, about himself, including the bragadoccio regarding his "occupation":

    That's right, Mr. Sullivan. The "suspect "takes pride in his ability to spin and attack people FOR HIRE, in fact he calls it his "occupation". My, isn't that something to be proud of?

    So, could this be the "non-public official" who used his self-professed "spinmaster" skills on you this weekend? I have no idea. But who else could it be?

    Now, as for your assertion that I take aim at "perceived enemies of Zimmer". BULLSHIT.

    I don't blog for Zimmer. I don't blog for anyone. No one owns me. No one tells me what to write. I do satire and commentary, my own.

    And am certainly not the only game in town. In fact, my lovely blogger-boyfriends have done some quite sharp satire recently. While I've been preoccupied with the sad story of Timmy O.'s dead flowers. Have you read the piece? A true botanic-Armageddon.

    Now, is that kind of story what you mean by a "personal attack on a non-public official"? Wrong.

    Timmy is a candidate for public office, and it's not personal. In fact, I like him. We both have a black thumb, a.k.a. "Thumb of Death", when it comes to gardening. I killed 2 azalea bushes in my yard. Improper mulching, I believe. Learn about proper mulching here.

    Remember Mr. Sullivan, when it comes to mulching: think donut not volcano.

    But I digress... whomever whispered in your ear has certainly taken aim at me and this blog as 'tools' for Zimmer. Had you contacted me before taking a hatchet to the blog I may have disabused you of that notion. Or maybe not, but it would have been fair.

    Opinions are one thing, you are entitled to yours, as I am entitled to mine. However, facts are not opinions.

    And you have erred on a fact.

    ...putting Mayor Dawn Zimmer in a position of ridicule outside of Hoboken, where serious politicians are wondering how she can allow people she appointed to misbehave.

    Mr. Sullivan, the mayor DID NOT appoint me. The City Council did unanimously, 9-0. UNANIMOUSLY. So don't even try to call it a "Lenz-appointment". Readers, take note this is the THIRD TIME the Hoboken Reporter has referred to me as a 'Zimmer-appointee". The THIRD TIME.

    Readers, what does that tell you? About the Hoboken Reporter's agenda? If not its agenda, how about its accuracy? In Mr. Sullivan's case, he did not vet the information of his 'source'. It went straight from his ear to print.

    Again, Sullivan asserts here that a politician "allows" my "behavior". Oh, brother.

    Once more: NO.

    The only one that bosses me around is my 7-year old daughter, Little Avenger (LA). When she tells me to get off the laptop I drop it like a hot potato.

    Ah, well. There is always more to say. But making LA's breakfast is more important than this nonsense.

    Folks, this is the price of free speech in this town.

    Friday, July 16, 2010

    Divide and Conquer

    : From Latin, divide et impera

    Meaning :
    1. A combination of political strategies that aim to gain and maintain power by breaking up larger concentrations of power into chunks that individually have less power than the one implementing the strategy.

    2. A strategy for achieving political control.

    Why am I posting this ?

    Because folks, you've been played.

    Which is NOT to say that your thoughts, feelings, opinions, the boundaries you believe in, etc. are unjustified. I am NOT saying that.

    I'm saying you've been played.

    By the experts. Classic, classic strategy in politics to snatch back power: insert a wedge into the heart of your opponent's movement and split it wide open by dividing it's supporters.

    It happened on Wednesday night.

    You know what I'm talking about. If you don't, read MSV or HJ... both are on fire. Conjecture, accusations, flagellation, photos-- against our own... fanning disgust, apathy, fury-- at our own. I do not question the legitimacy, the validity, the motivation or truthfulness of anyone involved in the discourse. Trust me, I have my own opinions. But as the flames rise, I feel this strategic screwing must be recognized and the Big Picture implications considered.

    Think I'm full of crap?

    What have you heard from Occipiniti or his supporters?

    What have you heard from Beth Mason?

    What have you heard from the hornet's nest of political operatives who've been shilling for Occhipinti hard recently, like the insipid NadiaKeeps?

    You've heard this:

    On the other hand, today on H411, Mason and Occhipinti shill:

    You see?

    So, now you know who is sitting back and having a good laugh at us. Watching. Waiting.

    I am not saying stop the discourse. I am saying stay on the rails and look at the Big Picture. Where we came from, where we are now. And this well-worn but wise saying which was sent to me yesterday:

    Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good

    Let's not burn down the house just yet. As we hold our own accountable.

    Watch out you might get what you're after
    Cool babies strange but not a stranger
    I'm an ordinary guy
    Burning down the house

    Thursday, July 15, 2010


    Have you ever seen Prince perform live? I haven't.

    A friend in college was a Prince fanatic-- as in, time and budget permitting, flying around the country to attend his concerts. No joke. I thought she was nuts.

    But now I regret not having seen him live at least once, because say what you will about his music, in his heyday--and still now he is an amazing performer.

    So, what reminded me of Prince today?

    Waking up this morning and perusing the blogs, reading my emails... made me tap my feet.

    For your listening pleasure, this classic off his 1981 album of the same title:

    Wasn't that great?

    Sing along with me, people:

    I just can't believe all the things people say (Controversy)
    Am I black or white? Am I straight or gay? (Controversy)
    Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? Yeah (Controversy)



    I can't understand human curiosity (Controversy)

    Was it good 4 U? Was I what U wanted me 2 be? (Controversy)
    Do U get high? Does your daddy cry? (Controversy)


    Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? (Yeah, ooh yeah)

    Some people wanna die so they can be free
    I said, life is just a game, we're all just the same
    Do U wanna play? (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

    CHORUS {x3}

    {Lord's Prayer}

    Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name
    Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
    Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses
    As we forgive those who trespass against us
    Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
    For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever

    CHORUS {x2}

    Love ya, love ya, baby

    CHORUS {x3}

    (Oh yeah, yeah)
    (Everybody, oh yeah)


    People call me rude, I wish we were all nude
    I wish there was no black and white, I wish there were no rules
    People call me rude, I wish we were all nude
    I wish there was no black and white, I wish there were (was) no rules
    {repeat 2 more times}

    Yeah! (Controversy)

    Oh yeah (Controversy)

    Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me?

    Let me tell U, some people wanna die so they can be free
    I said life is just a game, we're all just the same
    Don't U wanna play?

    Are you shaking that booty, yet?

    Well, I can't imagine anyone else could do it better than Prince.

    Now, people. As you wake up this morning, think Big Picture. In the words of another hipster, Abie-baby, spoken just the other day in 1858:

    Our cause, then, must be intrusted to, and conducted by, its own undoubted friends -- those whose hands are free, whose hearts are in the work, who do care for the result. Two years ago the Republicans of the nation mustered over thirteen hundred thousand strong. We did this under the single impulse of resistance to a common danger, with every external circumstance against us. Of strange, discordant, and even hostile elements, we gathered from the four winds, and formed and fought the battle through, under the constant hot fire of a disciplined, proud, and pampered enemy. Did we brave all then to falter now? -- now when that same enemy is wavering, dissevered, and belligerent? The result is not doubtful. We shall not fail -- if we stand firm, we shall not fail. Wise counsels may accelerate or mistakes delay it, but, sooner or later, the victory is sure to come.

    More succinctly, from the same speech: a house divided against itself cannot stand.

    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    Frostbite in Hades

    You know it's time to check the temperature in Hades when... a FOX Channel host accuses (former) President B*sh and (former) Vice President Cheney of prosecutable crimes, calling for their indictment.

    Pack those thermal underwear. And some ice skates.

    More: this wayward FOX Channel host even gives a shout-out to Vincent Bugliosi for his book, The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder.

    Wow. That one's on my B*sh-Sucks Bookshelf, between my copies of Bush on the Couch and Fortunate Son. Actually, the books on my B*sh-Sucks Bookshelf belong to my Worst-President-in-History Collection... part of my America's-Disgrace Library.

    Oh, I kid my Republican friends.

    Not really.

    You'll see in the video clip, Fox News Host Judge Andrew Napolitano discussing his book, Lies the Government Told You: Myth, Power, and Deception in American History on C-SPAN2 when the host, Ralph Nadar, asks him about the suspension of habeas corpus during the B*sh administration.

    The Huffington Post notes his response:

    "What President Bush did with the suspension of habeas corpus, with the whole concept of Guantánamo Bay, with the whole idea that he could avoid and evade federal laws, treaties, federal judges and the constitution was blatantly unconstitutional — and in some cases criminal," Napolitano said. "They should have been indicted. They absolutely should have been indicted. For torturing, for spying, for arresting without warrants. I'd like to say they should be indicted for lying but believe it or not, unless you're under oath, lying is not a crime."

    Napolitano added that "the overwhelming...that George W. Bush as President and Dick Cheney as Vice President participated in criminal conspiracies to violate the federal law and the guaranteed civil liberties of hundreds, maybe thousands, of human beings."

    Well. So there it is.

    And Attorney General Eric Holder took a pass.

    Let's go shopping.

    Tuesday, July 13, 2010


    News media interviews are tough things. Once the words have left your mouth, that's it. You can't catch them in mid-air and stuff them back into your mouth. And there is only one thing worse than being misquoted-- that's being quoted correctly as a different self than you meant to be at the time you were quoted.

    In other words, let's say you are really 3 people in 1. One of you is a regular Joe (or Jane), the 2nd is a member of an advisory board, and your 3rd self is a political candidate. Assume that all 3 of your selves know the same facts.

    Or do they?

    Is it possible for ONE of your selves to keep a secret from the other 2? Or perhaps, 2 of your selves might play a trick on the third? For example, your 2 selves know something about the limited funding of a public swimming pool and it's consequently shortened schedule, but DON'T tell the 3rd guy?

    It can happen.

    It did happen.

    See above article.

    How to Mulch a Garden

    Yesterday's post on the demise of Timmy O.'s flower beds at the Boys and Girls Club-- planted in earnest good will back on April 24, inspired some fascinating speculation amongst readers.

    InfotainMe suggested that Timmy's flowers succumbed to mulchicide, a.k.a. 'death-by-mulching'. I would never have suspected it. But this reader knows a little too much about gardening- either he's a farmer by trade or tends a crop of tomatoes, or string beans, or marijuana in his backyard. Whatever it is, I think he's onto something.

    Now, I confess to using the same type of mulch in my yard that (allegedly) suffocated Timmy's flowers: red cedar chips. They are very attractive. But so was Ted Bundy. And Bonnie Parker (played by Faye Dunaway in the 1967 blockbuster, Bonnie and Clyde)

    Lethal beauties, those 2.

    So let that be a lesson to you: never judge a book by it's cover. Which also goes for ground cover. Remember: the mulch you spread may take a life.

    Now that we've established some of us (me) need proper mulching tips, today I'm posting a fascinating educational video called "How to Mulch a Garden"

    Do not skip the video, people. If you do here is what you'll miss:

    • a Mayonnaise commercial (*only available at the YouTube web site- don't miss it!)
    • the host's lip movements are not synced to the audio- fantastic!
    • at the 4:00 minute mark (approx), the host identifies the mulching misfire that may have turned the flower bed over at 123 Jefferson into a graveyard
    • the mulching-mantra: think donut, not volcano
    • a comprehensive guide to mulching an ornamental garden
    Now for your riveted viewing pleasure, a manifesto of mulch:

    Wasn't that informative? I never knew there were so many different types of mulch. Did you?


    Alright, now let's apply what we learned for a moment to what may have taken the lives of our leafy friends at 123 Jefferson Street.

    Think donut, not volcano

    I have no doubt I slaughtered a lovely little azalea bush this way.

    Well, I've learned something today. Have you?