Secaucus Swim Center

Yesterday I visited Hoboken's public pool at the Boys and Girls Club (123 Jefferson) to check out the facilities, and boy was I impressed!

I wrote all about it here.

It's one thing to be stuck paying astronomical Hoboken taxes, but another to know our money is being spent on such luxuries as an aluminum backyard pool that can provide our population of 40,000 with minutes of summer fun!

And that is one astro turf-trimmed dream.

Who knew it could sustain the weight of our town's entire youth population when they turned out yesterday for a dip? This is one of the hottest summers on record, so thank goodness we have a big bucket 'o tin to keep us cool.

If you are 12 years old or under, that is.

Are you?

If so, then you can go in our public pool. But if you are 4 or under, no can do.

And here it is:

Hoboken's public pool at the Boys and Girls Club

Wow. Just, wow.

Now that you've seen the luxury your tax dollars have bought you, I have another NJ municipality's pool facility to show you. For comparison. And when you see it, you'll realize how lucky we are in Hoboken.

Wait until you see this dump.

The Secaucus Swim Center, which is located in the nearby town of Secaucus, New Jersey.

I was curious to go since many parents talked about it yesterday as they baked in the sun waiting for their child's 5-minute shift in our pool.

They muttered things like "can you believe that pool in Secaucus?" and "why do we always have to swim in Secaucus ?" and "this doesn't compare to the one they have in Secaucus!' It was obvious from such remarks that the Secaucus facility simply couldn't measure up to that prefabricated bucket of backyard fun Hoboken provides for us. I simply had to check it out.

Oh, the horror. As I said above wait until you see this dump that the taxpayers of Secaucus have to put up with.

I'll give you a tour.

Here's the first pool (there are 2 more plus a water park feature for tots)

click on any photo to enlarge


And that big, blue wiggly thing in the back... what the hell is it?

Here's a close-up:

Who would think of throwing their child down a garbage chute?

Thank goodness
we don't have anything like that for our hot, bored Hoboken children.

Next is the diving pool:

Who needs that? A bunch of kids waiting to jump off a plank? Ridiculous. Thank goodness Hoboken doesn't have one of those.

Another view:

Can you stand it? If not, look away. I'm about to show you the lap pool.

Adults only. So if you can't stand noisy little critters- like the ones that get to swim in Hoboken instead of you-- then this pool is for you.

Another view:

And that water is so.... blue. Yuk.

Now that you've seen Secaucus' 3 swimming pools, here's their 'waterpark feature' for tots:

Not impressed. Are you?

Another view:

Now I urge you, readers to look at what our town has done for us... and thank your lucky stars for Hoboken's generosity.

If you don't believe me, take a look at this side-by-side view of Hoboken's public pool and one at the Seacaucus Swim Center.

Well? Where would you rather swim?

Hands down, I'd rather swim in our bucket! Only I can't.

I'm over 12.


  1. Brilliant side-by-side comparison of not only the two muni's "swim centers" but an excellent snapshot(s) of the difference in community philosophy between Hoboken, which pours its monies into salaries for the well-connected and little else, and a semi-normally functioning NJ municipality. Congrats to you, City of Hoboken, land of shore homes and low expectations.

  2. Thanks, E.

    Well, the Secaucus experience was so hideous I'll be repeating it as often as possible through the summer-- while thanking G-d our town has spared us from such hell. In fact, I might even send a a few bucks extra with next quarter's enormous tax bill, as a tip. Just to say...

    Thank you, Hoboken!

  3. We just hold our noses and jump in and then we pretend to laugh, smile, relax and act like we're having a incredibly good time staying for hours. We have perfected our poker faces so as not to insult our Secaucus hosts. We too visit often and are happy pay because they obviously need the money to improve their sad little operation. But they had better not think we have a reciprocal arrangement for them to use our water wonderland in Hoboken... imagine the line-ups.


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