Like it?
GA listens to The People. You asked me for a Nurse Mason design, and here it is... with an extra-special, super-sized bonus: GUMBY! How do you like them apples? A two-fer.
And aren't they quite the pair? The wannabe hospital-murderess (a.k.a. The Naughty Nurse) and her not-paid-for-friendship in a green latex ZIP-lock bag beau? They make an awfully snazzy addition to the Recall Beth Mason Gift Shop.
Imagine, you can own this one-of-a-kind t shirt emblazoned with the Angry Nurse and her pet Golem.
Or how about decking out Fido in one of these? Holiday season is upon us. Has puppy been naughty or nice?
Wouldn't you or a loved one like this wall clock for Hanukkah? Or Kwanzaa?
Maybe it should say "Time's Up, Beth!"
Personally, GA thinks the t-shirt looks sharp in black.
Now this mug was created for a dear friend who requested it for his morning grog. And WHO wouldn't want to wake to with Nurse Mason and Gumby every morning?
With so many great Recall Beth Mason collectibles s to choose from, how about buying them all?
And here's what you need to carry then in: the Nutty Nurse & Gumby sack
You know, I'll bet my formerly-secret admirer is online ordering up a storm now. Go Dave!
The original design is still available, of course. Which our former mayor-turned GA spokes model is festooned with below.
Now, in light of last night's City Council minority's display of intemperance, incompetence and insanity, GA should see sales skyrocket at The Recall Beth Mason Gift Shop.
ka-ching! ka-ching!
Craziness pays!
Available as a poster- 2 sizes! Click here (small) or here (large) |
GA listens to The People. You asked me for a Nurse Mason design, and here it is... with an extra-special, super-sized bonus: GUMBY! How do you like them apples? A two-fer.
And aren't they quite the pair? The wannabe hospital-murderess (a.k.a. The Naughty Nurse) and her not-paid-for-friendship in a green latex ZIP-lock bag beau? They make an awfully snazzy addition to the Recall Beth Mason Gift Shop.
Imagine, you can own this one-of-a-kind t shirt emblazoned with the Angry Nurse and her pet Golem.
Or how about decking out Fido in one of these? Holiday season is upon us. Has puppy been naughty or nice?
Wouldn't you or a loved one like this wall clock for Hanukkah? Or Kwanzaa?
Maybe it should say "Time's Up, Beth!"
Personally, GA thinks the t-shirt looks sharp in black.
Now this mug was created for a dear friend who requested it for his morning grog. And WHO wouldn't want to wake to with Nurse Mason and Gumby every morning?
With so many great Recall Beth Mason collectibles s to choose from, how about buying them all?
And here's what you need to carry then in: the Nutty Nurse & Gumby sack
You know, I'll bet my formerly-secret admirer is online ordering up a storm now. Go Dave!
The original design is still available, of course. Which our former mayor-turned GA spokes model is festooned with below.
Now, in light of last night's City Council minority's display of intemperance, incompetence and insanity, GA should see sales skyrocket at The Recall Beth Mason Gift Shop.
ka-ching! ka-ching!
Craziness pays!
How about an official theme song for Mrs. Richard G. Mason?
ReplyDeleteRecall me, I'm irresponsible
Recall me, I'm unreliable
Throw in undependable too
Do my foolish alibis bore you?
Well, I'm not too clever
I just abhor you
So recall me, I'm unpredictable
Tell me I'm impractical
Delusions, I'm inclined to pursue
Recall me irresponsible
Yes, I'm unreliable
But it's undeniably true
That I'm irresponsibly mad at you
Do my foolish alibis bore you?
Hoboken, I'm not too clever, I
I just abhor you
Recall me, I'm unpredictable
Tell me that I'm so fanatical
Delusions, I'm inclined to pursue
Go ahead recall me, I'm irresponsible
Yes, I'm unreliable
But it's undeniably true
I'm irresponsibly mad at you
You know it's true
Oh, baby it's true
Marvelous!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Brilliant!!!! I'm working on a variation of "I Wish You Love" for Mrs. Richard G. Mason which currently uses the working title of "I Wish You Karma".
ReplyDeleteLOVE the new design, GA!! How about a baseball cap in black, please?
ReplyDeleteOracle's inspired brilliance suggests a limited edition CD for the Recall Catalog. Reinterpretations of the Great American Songbook.
"Peel Me A Grape" comes to mind for Beth & Ricky (or Beth & Lane):
Peel me a grape, crush me some ice
Skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow
Talk to me nice, talk to me nice
....
Here's how to be an agreeable chap
Love me & leave me in luxury's lap
Hop when I holler
Skip when I snap
When I say, "do it,"
Jump to it.
Jobim, too. Perhaps a "Waters of [Frog]March":
A stick, a stone, it's the end of the road.
....
A spear, a spike,
A point, a nail,
A drip, a drop,
It's the end of the tale.
Or some R&B for B&R (& some BnR's):
RICO me
I'm going to your jail
RICO me
I got those damn emails
etc.
The possibilities are endless.
Let's hope the FBI's are too.
Just wondering if that Gumby was used in the 1950s to teach children about "when our bodies go through changes". And there's Nurse Better-Living-Thru-Chemicals saying, "Don' worry, kiz, my fren Gummy here's gonna tell ya all bout it. Go head, Gummy. Mommy's flask nees a refill."
ReplyDeleteFabulous, MBB!
ReplyDeleteI added a black cap, but the template limits the logo placement on a white background.
(I'd like that white background to disappear...)
Keep 'em coming, girlfriend.
XO,
GA
i would so love to witness the reaction of the real-life nurse and gumby if they encountered someone on the street wearing this gear, LOL. would mason stomp her feet and berate is the shrill voice that's become her unhinged calling card, or simply give that tightly clenched-jaw, slity-eyed stare? and would matty try to give a body slam?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're onto something, Info.
ReplyDeletePerhaps there's a huge stash of benzo's for Beth, stored with Ricky's mammoth wine collection in the basement.
If so, they don't seem to be working, except benzo's do have a tendency to make the already-nasty, nastier. A textbook case: the 21st C. version of "the problem that has no name." (Though there ARE lots of epithets to assign....)
As I wrote on another thread, MC's tacky Gumby get-up reads like some novelty prophylactic gone very, very wrong. Perhaps that's why Gumby's pal was named Pokey.
With all the dogs in town, perhaps some recall Mason poo bags would be good to have, with long-handled ties, convenient for hurling.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they could come in a larger size too for containing all the bullshit that gets generated from the south end of the dais twice a month.
"Scat" can be the slang term for Recall, as in get out of town!
Great idea, Oracle! Perhaps a special Recall Catalog combo package: the pup-shirt w/the poop bags. Maybe a "Recall Mason" dog-bandana too.
ReplyDeleteHow about a Recall oven mitt? A safe means for symbolically "putting the heat on." Both designs could be used, one on each side. It could multi-task as a hand-puppet too.
How about Recall finger-puppets? Reform-minded folks could easily bring them to CC meetings & make good use of them for silent editorial comment, without having to wait for the public portion of the meeting. Especially effective, wagging one on the middle-finger.
Love the puppets! Maybe a limited-edition "Ock-yoo-pin-tay" marionette?
ReplyDeleteThe official logo of the "RECALL MRS. RICHARD G. MASON" movement ought to be the international symbol for toxic waste.
Here's another excerpt for the CD:
ReplyDeleteIf you're feeling had and angry
That's the service I do render
I'm the one who loves ME only
I can be so damn self-centered
Recall me
Maybe it's late
But just recall me
Don't be afraid
And just recall me
Recall me; I'll still astound
Ad nauseum....
Hah! And as an homage to a hometown boy who left and never looked back:
ReplyDeleteDerangers in the night, exchanging emails
Wondering in the night
What were the chances they'd be sharing indictments
Before the year was through
Something in their eyes was so inciting
Something in their grins was so conniving
Something in their hearts told them to break the law
Derangers in the night Four lousy people
They were derangers in the night
Up to the moment when they said their first hello
Little did they know
Jail was just a glance away
A perp-walk hobbling dance away
And ever since that night they've been together
Losers at first site in cahoots forever
It turned out so right for derangers in the night
Dooby dooby doo...
Just terrific, Oracle!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about reworking Perry Como's "Magic Moments" for the CD. Working title: "Magical Thinking."
The lilting, upbeat melody line seems so well-suited to the level of delusion, wouldn't you agree?
You've inspired me, MBB & Oracle... I wrote one, too.
ReplyDeleteIt's meant to be sung by Beth Mason after she's been in the Big House for awhile, and it's sung to the tune of 'A Tisket, A Tasket'.
CELLBLOCK SERANADE
A -tisket, a-tasket
That's a shiv inside my basket
I wrote a letter to Rick-y
On the way to the commissary
To buy some butts
And smoke some crack
If you pick it up
I’ll stick you with it
I dropped it, I dropped it
Pick up my f*cking letter
And I’ll pop you b*tch
Don’t put it in your pocket
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGiven where her house is situated, someone who's inclined could rework "Fool on the Hill."
ReplyDelete(Revised version)
ReplyDeleteTo continue w/the same tune (but mine's pre-slammer), GA:
I lost it, I lost it
My little email basket
If someone else does pick it up
It's sure to be the end, the end.
Is it me?
No, no, NO, no!
Can it be?
No, no, NO, no!
All for ME!
Yes, yes, YES, yes!
I'm a little yellow racket!
Dat dat-dat, dah doobledy-dop
Bee-doop bop!
In my nurse-cap, dressed as Ratchet*
*alternate line, especially for Oracle:
In my shoulder-padded jackets
MBB can't seem to shake this song. Thanks for your indulgence, GA. (And apologies to Ella.) More alternatives:
ReplyDeleteAll for ME!
"Yes, yes, YES, yes,"
Says the sycophantic racket
Dat dat-dat, dah doobledy-dop
Bee-doo bop!
Beth's a case that's labelled: "basket"
Here's another one for the CD, in tribute to Mr. One-Sandwich-Shy-of-a-Picnic, in the 4th Ward. (Only minor changes to the original lyrics, excerpted from another Ella classic, "Mr. Paganini"):
The concert was over in City Hall
One shyster, just a big kow-tow
He said, "My friends, I gave my all.
"I'm sorry, it's all over now."
*When from the balcony way up high
There suddenly came a mournful cry
Oh, Mr. Occhipinti
Please play my rhapsody
And if you cannot play it...*
**Won't you sing it?
And if you can't sing,
You simply have to
[SCAT]**
*Lane's part
**Any sane Hoboken resident's part
Applause, applause!
ReplyDeleteOrchestra, take a bow!