Brand New Design

Like it?

Available as a poster- 2 sizes! Click here (small) or here (large) 

GA listens to The People.  You asked me for a Nurse Mason design, and here it is... with an extra-special, super-sized bonus: GUMBY!   How do you like them apples?  A two-fer.

And aren't they quite the pair?   The wannabe hospital-murderess (a.k.a. The Naughty Nurse) and her not-paid-for-friendship in a green latex ZIP-lock bag beau?  They make an awfully snazzy addition to the Recall Beth Mason Gift Shop.

Imagine, you can own this one-of-a-kind t shirt emblazoned with the Angry Nurse and her pet Golem.

Or how about decking out Fido in one of these?   Holiday season is upon us.  Has puppy been naughty or nice?

Wouldn't you or a loved one like this wall clock for Hanukkah? Or Kwanzaa?

Maybe it should say "Time's Up, Beth!" 

Personally, GA thinks the t-shirt looks sharp in black.

Now this mug was created for a dear friend who requested it for his morning grog.  And WHO wouldn't want to wake to with Nurse Mason and Gumby every morning? 

With so many great Recall Beth Mason collectibles s to choose from, how about buying them all?
And here's what you need to carry then in:  the Nutty Nurse & Gumby sack
You know, I'll bet my formerly-secret admirer is online ordering up a storm now.  Go Dave!

The original design is still available, of course. Which our former mayor-turned GA spokes model is  festooned with below.

Now, in light of last night's City Council minority's display of intemperance, incompetence and insanity, GA should see sales skyrocket at The Recall Beth Mason Gift Shop.

ka-ching! ka-ching!

Craziness pays!


  1. How about an official theme song for Mrs. Richard G. Mason?

    Recall me, I'm irresponsible
    Recall me, I'm unreliable
    Throw in undependable too

    Do my foolish alibis bore you?
    Well, I'm not too clever
    I just abhor you

    So recall me, I'm unpredictable
    Tell me I'm impractical
    Delusions, I'm inclined to pursue

    Recall me irresponsible
    Yes, I'm unreliable
    But it's undeniably true
    That I'm irresponsibly mad at you

    Do my foolish alibis bore you?
    Hoboken, I'm not too clever, I
    I just abhor you

    Recall me, I'm unpredictable
    Tell me that I'm so fanatical
    Delusions, I'm inclined to pursue

    Go ahead recall me, I'm irresponsible
    Yes, I'm unreliable
    But it's undeniably true
    I'm irresponsibly mad at you

    You know it's true
    Oh, baby it's true

  2. Absolutely Brilliant!!!! I'm working on a variation of "I Wish You Love" for Mrs. Richard G. Mason which currently uses the working title of "I Wish You Karma".

  3. LOVE the new design, GA!! How about a baseball cap in black, please?

    Oracle's inspired brilliance suggests a limited edition CD for the Recall Catalog. Reinterpretations of the Great American Songbook.

    "Peel Me A Grape" comes to mind for Beth & Ricky (or Beth & Lane):
    Peel me a grape, crush me some ice
    Skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow
    Talk to me nice, talk to me nice
    Here's how to be an agreeable chap
    Love me & leave me in luxury's lap
    Hop when I holler
    Skip when I snap
    When I say, "do it,"
    Jump to it.

    Jobim, too. Perhaps a "Waters of [Frog]March":
    A stick, a stone, it's the end of the road.
    A spear, a spike,
    A point, a nail,
    A drip, a drop,
    It's the end of the tale.

    Or some R&B for B&R (& some BnR's):
    RICO me
    I'm going to your jail
    RICO me
    I got those damn emails

    The possibilities are endless.
    Let's hope the FBI's are too.

  4. Just wondering if that Gumby was used in the 1950s to teach children about "when our bodies go through changes". And there's Nurse Better-Living-Thru-Chemicals saying, "Don' worry, kiz, my fren Gummy here's gonna tell ya all bout it. Go head, Gummy. Mommy's flask nees a refill."

  5. Fabulous, MBB!

    I added a black cap, but the template limits the logo placement on a white background.

    (I'd like that white background to disappear...)

    Keep 'em coming, girlfriend.


  6. i would so love to witness the reaction of the real-life nurse and gumby if they encountered someone on the street wearing this gear, LOL. would mason stomp her feet and berate is the shrill voice that's become her unhinged calling card, or simply give that tightly clenched-jaw, slity-eyed stare? and would matty try to give a body slam?

  7. Maybe you're onto something, Info.
    Perhaps there's a huge stash of benzo's for Beth, stored with Ricky's mammoth wine collection in the basement.

    If so, they don't seem to be working, except benzo's do have a tendency to make the already-nasty, nastier. A textbook case: the 21st C. version of "the problem that has no name." (Though there ARE lots of epithets to assign....)

    As I wrote on another thread, MC's tacky Gumby get-up reads like some novelty prophylactic gone very, very wrong. Perhaps that's why Gumby's pal was named Pokey.

  8. With all the dogs in town, perhaps some recall Mason poo bags would be good to have, with long-handled ties, convenient for hurling.

    Maybe they could come in a larger size too for containing all the bullshit that gets generated from the south end of the dais twice a month.

    "Scat" can be the slang term for Recall, as in get out of town!

  9. Great idea, Oracle! Perhaps a special Recall Catalog combo package: the pup-shirt w/the poop bags. Maybe a "Recall Mason" dog-bandana too.

    How about a Recall oven mitt? A safe means for symbolically "putting the heat on." Both designs could be used, one on each side. It could multi-task as a hand-puppet too.

    How about Recall finger-puppets? Reform-minded folks could easily bring them to CC meetings & make good use of them for silent editorial comment, without having to wait for the public portion of the meeting. Especially effective, wagging one on the middle-finger.

  10. Love the puppets! Maybe a limited-edition "Ock-yoo-pin-tay" marionette?

    The official logo of the "RECALL MRS. RICHARD G. MASON" movement ought to be the international symbol for toxic waste.

  11. Here's another excerpt for the CD:

    If you're feeling had and angry
    That's the service I do render
    I'm the one who loves ME only
    I can be so damn self-centered

    Recall me
    Maybe it's late
    But just recall me
    Don't be afraid
    And just recall me
    Recall me; I'll still astound

    Ad nauseum....

  12. Hah! And as an homage to a hometown boy who left and never looked back:

    Derangers in the night, exchanging emails
    Wondering in the night
    What were the chances they'd be sharing indictments
    Before the year was through

    Something in their eyes was so inciting
    Something in their grins was so conniving
    Something in their hearts told them to break the law

    Derangers in the night Four lousy people
    They were derangers in the night
    Up to the moment when they said their first hello

    Little did they know
    Jail was just a glance away
    A perp-walk hobbling dance away

    And ever since that night they've been together
    Losers at first site in cahoots forever
    It turned out so right for derangers in the night

    Dooby dooby doo...

  13. Just terrific, Oracle!
    I'm thinking about reworking Perry Como's "Magic Moments" for the CD. Working title: "Magical Thinking."
    The lilting, upbeat melody line seems so well-suited to the level of delusion, wouldn't you agree?

  14. You've inspired me, MBB & Oracle... I wrote one, too.

    It's meant to be sung by Beth Mason after she's been in the Big House for awhile, and it's sung to the tune of 'A Tisket, A Tasket'.


    A -tisket, a-tasket
    That's a shiv inside my basket
    I wrote a letter to Rick-y
    On the way to the commissary
    To buy some butts
    And smoke some crack
    If you pick it up
    I’ll stick you with it

    I dropped it, I dropped it
    Pick up my f*cking letter
    And I’ll pop you b*tch
    Don’t put it in your pocket

  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

  16. Given where her house is situated, someone who's inclined could rework "Fool on the Hill."

  17. (Revised version)
    To continue w/the same tune (but mine's pre-slammer), GA:

    I lost it, I lost it
    My little email basket
    If someone else does pick it up
    It's sure to be the end, the end.

    Is it me?
    No, no, NO, no!
    Can it be?
    No, no, NO, no!

    All for ME!
    Yes, yes, YES, yes!
    I'm a little yellow racket!

    Dat dat-dat, dah doobledy-dop
    Bee-doop bop!
    In my nurse-cap, dressed as Ratchet*

    *alternate line, especially for Oracle:
    In my shoulder-padded jackets

  18. MBB can't seem to shake this song. Thanks for your indulgence, GA. (And apologies to Ella.) More alternatives:

    All for ME!
    "Yes, yes, YES, yes,"
    Says the sycophantic racket

    Dat dat-dat, dah doobledy-dop
    Bee-doo bop!
    Beth's a case that's labelled: "basket"

    Here's another one for the CD, in tribute to Mr. One-Sandwich-Shy-of-a-Picnic, in the 4th Ward. (Only minor changes to the original lyrics, excerpted from another Ella classic, "Mr. Paganini"):

    The concert was over in City Hall
    One shyster, just a big kow-tow
    He said, "My friends, I gave my all.
    "I'm sorry, it's all over now."

    *When from the balcony way up high
    There suddenly came a mournful cry
    Oh, Mr. Occhipinti
    Please play my rhapsody
    And if you cannot play it...*

    **Won't you sing it?
    And if you can't sing,
    You simply have to

    *Lane's part
    **Any sane Hoboken resident's part

  19. Applause, applause!

    Orchestra, take a bow!


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