Assemblyman Emeritus, Harvard Alum Carmelo Garcia accused of not paying for meals (and other stuff)

Defendant Carmelo G. Garcia is presumed innocent until determined otherwise by a jury of his peers.  That said, I read the criminal complaint yesterday and boy, the allegations are shocking. In no particular order, here are the top six.

ALLEGATION #1: "Defendant Garcia almost never paid for his own meals"

Carmelo's two co-Defendants accused Garcia of mooching meals at restaurants. I had friend like that once. A group of us would go out to a diner and when the bill came, the guy reliably went to the restroom to take the world's longest dump, only to emerge once the check was paid.  Don't you hate that?

https://www.scribd.com/document/485013926/U-S-A-v-Carmelo-G-Garcia-et-al

ALLEGATION #2: Defendant Garcia carried a gym bag into the restroom

https://www.scribd.com/document/485013926/U-S-A-v-Carmelo-G-Garcia-et-al

So what's criminal about that?  I've forgotten my purse in a public restroom, too.  The only difference is that when I retrieved it, it was empty: my money was gone!  Carmelo had the opposite experience. He forgot his empty purse in a restroom and when he retrieved it, it was stuffed with cash.  Allegedly.

I would call that a very lucky alleged coincidence. Allegedly.

ALLEGATION #3 Text exchange between Defendants omits proper punctuation

https://www.scribd.com/document/485013926/U-S-A-v-Carmelo-G-Garcia-et-al

Unbelievable. You should see my texts.  Who hasn't forgotten to put a period at the end of sentence?  Is that a crime?  No, it isn't.  Allegedly.  

"We've done nothing but spend and give away tons of money and give away jewelry" 

"Carmelo wants more too. We can't afford it"

"Colossal balls" 

So what if a couple of periods are missing. Their point is perfectly clear.

ALLEGATION #4  Defendant Garcia uses exclamation points to an excessive degree 

https://www.scribd.com/document/485013926/U-S-A-v-Carmelo-G-Garcia-et-al

It is not unreasonable to be excited at the prospect of getting one's empty purse coincidentally stuffed with alleged money.  Wouldn't that excite you?  So then, what's criminal about using double- exclamation points? 

"Let's meet at 5pm there!!"

I did exactly the same thing when my full purse left in a public bathroom was emptied of cash. 

"Someone STOLE my fucking money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The F.B.I. should really rethink this one. 

ALLEGATION #5    Watches and jewelry were alleged to be "high end"

https://www.scribd.com/document/485013926/U-S-A-v-Carmelo-G-Garcia-et-al

What the heck does the F.B.I. know about watches and chains?  The Feds appraise a suspect's conduct, not his jewelry.  If you want an appraisal, go to 47th Street in Manhattan, not 11 Centre Place in Newark.  

Really, how does the F.B.I. know that those watches and chains were "high-end"?  They could have been bought on Canal Street.  If I were bribing Carmelo with a watch, I wouldn't spend more than 5 dollars. Would you? Allegedly.

ALLEGATION #6  The federal government has more "facts" in their back pocket   

https://www.scribd.com/document/485013926/U-S-A-v-Carmelo-G-Garcia-et-al

Michael Biondo, the F.B.I. Agent who produced the complaint, isn't showing the government's hand. They are taking it nice and slooooooow.... 

What a tease you are, Agent Biondo.