Poem for Kurt

Tomorrow is a big day for my dear friend, newly elected Democratic Committeeman Kurt Gardiner... he will turn 50 years old!

Don't you love that big German galoot?  This poem is dedicated to my friend, Kurt.

On turning 50 
by GA

Though your gizzards are drying 
Your bones loudly creak
There's no fun in dying
Please last through the week
Fifty's okay, better than fifty-one
While going downhill
Stay out of the sun
'Cause age spots will sprout
They never come out
Your hair it will fall
Like rain in a squall
As you slowly rot
Friends that you've got
Share your dilemma
Oops, i just dropped my enema
It's no fun getting older
But age makes you bolder
People give you a pass
Whisper "ignore the old ass"
So hard to believe we're all getting here
Please talk on my right-I'm deaf in that ear
We're inching together, toward the abyss
Who's going first? Not me, I'll be missed
So will you oh, dear  friend
I 'll love and admire you until the end
Which is soon, by the way
Pack your bags and dress lightly
When you head toward the light
Don't look unsightly
We've shared so much fun- you and I
It seems such a shame we all have to die
What's that sound?
A vertebrae popped.
They're popping like corn
The fun never stops
Arthritis, wrinkles, sagging parts
Clogged up arteries, murmuring hearts
Diseased livers, dangling boobs
Cataracts, constipation, breathing from tubes
Oops, out of oxygen- call 911
Every day after fifty
Brings new fun
The Grim Reaper's watch
Goes tick... tick... tick... tock
"Time's up, all aboard!"
Are you ready to rock?
You'd better get going,
There's no where to hide
Friends wait in front and behind you
For eternal good times
Let's go for a beer 
On the Other Side


  1. Now I see why he's called " Giant "
    Man that's one Package Amazon Prime doesn't deliver .. :)

    1. Ha ha! I put Kurt in 15th century European high fashion, a hat-tip to his status as The Hoboken Bard, Minstrel of Rhyming Verse or Worse.

    2. Love the childish name calling. More notably the person attacking me for cogently speaking out on the issues clearly does not understand the role of basic committee person. This is the third or fourth time I have run. I asked John Carey if he wanted to run and he said it was fine if I ran this time.

      We represent 4 blocks in Hoboken and our most important role is to select executive committee and help out with GOTV efforts.

      We have never been more organized and used likely voter walk lists, palm cards and nailers to get the word out. We did not buy votes, run a VBM scam, we just pounded pavement and worked hard for the win.

      This angry anonymous poster is just marginalized from the column F diminishing influence and lackluster effort that led to this unprecedented shellacking. Simply sour grapes.

      Joe Branco and I had heated disagreements in the past but Joe says hello to me on the street now and I get the sense he just wants to let bygones be bygones. I'm partially at fault for the past animus because I am talented when it pertains to being a wise ass.

      With respect to Tony Soares he has every right to support Mike Defusco so I just disagree with him on that. I thought while he was on the Sewerage Authority he asked great questions and was professional throughout. I will let others speak of their own extra curricular activities with respect to his interactions with them.

      I have had disagreements with Tony Soares in the past like when he wanted dual appointments to Sewer Authority and zoning board but I continue to have dialogues with him currently and simply agree to disagree where applicable.


      Kurt Gardiner
      Hoboken Citizen

  2. Maybe someone will get that shmuck a sock for his birthday so he can shove it in his mouth instead of all those douhnuts. He is not prepaired to be an committeeman. Other candidates have more experience who should be in his place

    1. So says one bitter Hoboken has-been, politically-irrelevant, proxy-luvin turdlet. Make sure to speak loudly when you dictate Al's column to him this week.

    2. Doesn't sound like TS- he's friends with RG , the guy is a lot of things but making fun of RG/ Kurt is doubtful

    3. Is TS ever really friends with anyone ?

    4. I agree - this doesn't sound like TS - not even one of his many personas though he certainly is capable of extreme nastiness both on the internet and off.

      This is more likely DL, JB or MC.

      Poor TS has such a long history of nastiness that people fall into the trap of thinking that he is the only nasty out there and all the nastiness flows from him.

      It says volumes about TS that the first thing people think when they read an over the top nasty post is that it must be TS.

      It's too bad he is incapable of reflecting on why that is so, instead of playing the victim whenever he is rightly or wrongly suspected of being a nasty anonymous poster.

    5. Sounds like Tony to me. Name a single "friend" he hasn't knifed in the back.

    6. Sorry, not me, I do not have any issues with Kurt.

    7. Sorry, not me, I do not have any issues with Kurt.

    8. @11:17 certainly spending a lot of your own awesome friendship time attacking someone who has no friends.

      Be Happy, Have a Cabury Bar

    9. Joe you are not the JB referenced. You share initials with a certain Weehawken based hudson shark.

    10. Why won't somebody slice up the ToadStool and saute him with some nice fava beans. I hear that he goes well with a nice Chianti.


  4. Happy Birthday Kurt. Since that's what this post is about

  5. Happy Birthday KURT!

  6. Happy 50th Birthday, Kurt.
    Congratulations on your Committee win.

  7. Happy birthday. I always thought the 50th was gold, but apparently it's wood....

    1. Nancy's obsession with period cod pieces is inexplicable. Lol

    2. "obsession"- not quite, KG. It's a Bard wardrobe-accessory- a 15th century European fashion must-have.


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