Forget the bank, go for the chattel. The sheriff puts the stuff up for auction, right? Online, right? We can all bid on their crap. I need a few tiny suits. My wife wants a bathrobe.
If the sheriff is taking orders, I'd like an HD flat screen tv, a sofa, coffee table, drapes or mini blinds, a queen size bed, anything to furnish my son's dorm suite at college. Sheets, towels, pillowcases ok as long as no stains. Also, cooking utensils. And cutlery. If the dishes aren't cracked and nasty, will take too. Ill take the lot for $500.
Are appliances up for bid? I'll take the dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator and washer/dryer as long as they're all in good working condition. The rat droppings can be cleaned out. If the stove is electric, I'll take that too. Maybe $300 for all.
And shoes, men's shoes size 9 in good used condition, unspoiled by athletes foot or any fungal infection, I'll take them for 50 cents a pair. Can I get 3 pairs for a dollar?
I'll buy 3 shoes (1 1/2 pairs) for $1- that's 33 cents per shoe, which equals 15 shoes for $5 (7 1/2 pairs). Sheriff can we negotiate for the 16th shoe?
"GA and Horsey are going to OWN YOUR CONDO"
ReplyDeleteTwo roads diverged in a wood
ReplyDeleteAnd I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The SLAPPERS chose the road marked "Stoopid"
DeleteHey look, there's a TD Bank over there yonder behind Horsey.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the checkbook when you need him? So much for loyalty.
ReplyDeleteForget the bank, go for the chattel. The sheriff puts the stuff up for auction, right? Online, right? We can all bid on their crap. I need a few tiny suits. My wife wants a bathrobe.
ReplyDeleteI want computer hardware. I'll put the hard drives on eBay.
DeleteNeed some special order prophylactics for you know, small men..can I put in an order for a box sherrif. New please. Not recycled. I bid $9.99.
DeleteMy 12 year old needs a suit for a recital in March.
DeleteIf the sheriff is taking orders, I'd like an HD flat screen tv, a sofa, coffee table, drapes or mini blinds, a queen size bed, anything to furnish my son's dorm suite at college. Sheets, towels, pillowcases ok as long as no stains. Also, cooking utensils. And cutlery. If the dishes aren't cracked and nasty, will take too. Ill take the lot for $500.
DeleteI crossdress. Ladies size 22. Slips, bras, giant panties ok.
DeleteI'd like a shower curtain.
DeleteI'm bidding on the easel.
DeleteGot any unused purple pillows? You can keep the used ones...
ReplyDeleteI need a tent, I'm going camping after Christmas... Oh wait, they get to keep their dresses, it's the shirts off the their backs they lose...
ReplyDeleteThe apartment comes with a built-in Stairmaster, but it must be broken because it didn't do the previous owners any good.
ReplyDeletenice view of a municipal lot, though.
DeleteWhat happens when paid political operatives have to do the paying?
ReplyDeleteJust my opinion, but, if the now irrelevant Masons were to help financially at all, they'd have to figure out a way to get a write-off.
DeleteAre appliances up for bid? I'll take the dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator and washer/dryer as long as they're all in good working condition. The rat droppings can be cleaned out. If the stove is electric, I'll take that too. Maybe $300 for all.
DeleteAnd shoes, men's shoes size 9 in good used condition, unspoiled by athletes foot or any fungal infection, I'll take them for 50 cents a pair. Can I get 3 pairs for a dollar?
Bidding war...
DeleteI'll buy 3 shoes (1 1/2 pairs) for $1- that's 33 cents per shoe, which equals 15 shoes for $5 (7 1/2 pairs). Sheriff can we negotiate for the 16th shoe?
considering the suits fit a teenager, it's highly unlikely that the shoes are a size 9. i'm thinking maybe size 6, but with room for lifts.
Delete