Squirrel Autopsy Report: Cause of Death Found

The cause of death of the squirrel found by Councilwoman Beth Mason in her yard was determined today in an autopsy performed at the request of the Councilwoman.   Exclusively provided to GA:


  1. Official name is Rocket J. Squirrel.

  2. Mrs. Richard G. Mason - the satirists gift that keeps on giving.

    Nuts will be the death of all of us, including our City if we let them - especially the ones on City Council. News flash! Mason, you moved to a river city. We have possum, raccoons, squirrels and rats. Lots and lots of rats, including the two-legged variety you seem to be quite at home with.

    Mason can muster all this enthusiastic, mis-placed indignation over rodents, but not lift one finger to help her constituents in particular or the City in general. No, instead she has to the best of my recollection, engaged in such destructive measures as:

    1. Bring the City to the edge of bankruptcy over the hospital sale
    2. Squander (was it 4 million?) on the hospital garage re-fi
    3. Refuse to fund the law firm to fight the Monarch Project
    4. Refuse to place life-saving signals so that children could safely pass to the 16th St park
    5. Vote down free federal grants for road improvements

    Perhaps others have highlights they can recall, but this obsession with rodents is just another notch in her belt of bullshit.


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