SofteeGate: When Jihads Collide

By InfotainMe

To coin a phrase, it's been cleared up.  The answer was hiding in plain sight in Tim Occhipinti's 'petition' all along. 

This is important, because one person complains about his truck's noise and now he might have to move from his spot where he makes his livelhood [sic]and not serve Hoboken anymore.

Who is this dastardly figure?  Doesn't he know that ice cream is for the children????  Does he not care that he has forced our 4th Ward Councilman into an act of reluctant heroism for which he is so clearly unsuited?  I'm referring of course to writing a lucid english sentence.  See above.  Ouch.

Well, the good news is that we only have to look for one person.  It's not a movement or anything like that, not like say, the Aryan Brotherhood or Al Qaeda.  Worst case it's the Aryan Brother.  Or Al Qaedum.

A petition does seem like an extreme way to go about dealing with one person though, doesn't it?  Should the Hoboken City Council really be publically attacking one person's  right to free speech this way?  Intimidating, no?  Or "chilling", as they say in court papers while deciding how many zeroes should be on the check? 

I can see where you'd do a petition with a politician or public official.  They represent larger interests and have the power to convert their petulance into public policy.

But a petition against some anonymous crank?  It's not just overkill.  It's signing the city's name to a legally dubious course of action.  What happens when the crank in question starts exploring his legal options?  Just last week council person Beth Mason loudly and publicly with much waving of hands instructed council person Jenn Giattino to withhold information from a member of the public so as not to grant him "legitimacy."  And now this?  Don't we have enough people suing the city  already.  Must we go looking for them, prodding them with discriminatory treatment and petitions until they become enraged and strike back?

Fortunately, the "suspect", who has acted alone as Mr Occhipinti assures us, has been located.  He's none other than Hoboken411 regular BrianK.

If Mr Occhipinti is certain enough to create a public petition to tell us it's one person, that's good enough for me.  So this must be the guy.

True , Special K is just picking up the thread from fellow 411 misanthrope "Arseny".  (Hey, I don't make up these names...) 

I am not sure what point the Big A is making about "gluttony".  He seems to say that it's not gluttony to eat a "tub of ice cream at home" but, in public, it is.  To be fair, this is the perennially miserable, seldom rational, Fox Newsy readership 411 has remaining.  It's not a group disposed to noticing that we are at the apex of the spring bloom let alone over-thinking incongruous terms of their endless complaints.  So let's just focus on Special K.

Wow, so he took his complaints to his councilman?  Wait, so why is the Hoboken City Council publically attacking this one person  if he has come to the Hoboken City Council in good faith.  Why is the Hoboken City Council making this one person  the subject of a public backlash that could have serious repercussions for him - and thus for the City of Hoboken itself should this one person decide to take us all to ta$k for the action$ of a few council people?

Let me suggest an obvious and far less reckless course of action for before this little publicity stunt finds its way into our tax bills in the form of a seven-figure damage claim.  Mr Occhipinti just needs to use his abundant leverage at Hoboken411 to smooth this over.

Consider.  BrianK is merely echoing the sentiments of his routinely cranky host, ie, 411.  Kids in bars, the size of strollers, you name it, it pisses Klaussen off.  That's his right.  He naturally attracts a like-minded crowd, including one person  so wrapped up in his own swaddling narcissism that he would actually tell an ice cream vendor next to public park to "at least kill the music and move."  Oh, that's all?  So I don't have to kill myself too?  Phew.

I could see having a petition if all these anti-Softee sentiments were emanating from GA or MSV where Tim and Terri wouldn't expect a very sympathetic ear.  But why is it needed for dealing with Hoboken411 and his self-selected terminally gloomy readership?

That site has been as sympathetic to Tim Occhipinti's wants and needs as it has been unsympathetic to the Ruben Ramos campaign for mayor (announced over 2 months ago and still not mentioned once).  Surely, he can bank on his personal influence there without assembling a mob of angry cyber-villagers first.  After all, those, um, citizens in the 411 punchbowl are Tim's target audience.  He even had a press release on 411 this week to explain  the moral justification for stiffing the retiring firefighters.  Hell, he's even a blogger there.

So, Tim, rather than fire up a petition against one of your fellow Hoboken411 bloggers who is only following the script of his equally grumpy host, why don't you talk to these two gentlemen yourself?  Surely a meeting can be arranged.  You, Perry, BrianK.  Add "Arseny" if he magically turns out to be a separate entity.

Sit them down for a few cold ones and tell them how you believe that their actions and statements are detrimental to all Hobokenites.  You can even log on to your account on Hoboken411 and tell Special K yourself what you think of him.  Or maybe an awkwardly written but sincere letter to Klaussen a la the one from "Arseny" would do the trick.  Whatever you do, kill the petition before the rest of us end up having to pay for it.

We have found the enemy, Tim, and it isn't reform, or anti-traditionalism, or any of your usual strawman proxies for Dawn Zimmer.  It's none of that.  No, it's...

the incessant whining of your favorite website.

There's no need for petitions.  Your anti-Zimmer jihad has simply crashed smack into Hoboken411's anti-stroller set jihad.  Both of you need to throw your jihads into reverse, fill out an accident report, and get the hell out of there.  A crowd is starting to gather.  Some of them look like lawyers, capisci?