Poem for a Friend Turning 50

by GA

On Turning 50 
Though your gizzards are drying
Your bones loudly creak
There's no fun in dying
Please last through the week
Fifty's okay, better than fifty-one
While going downhill
Stay out of the sun
'Cause age spots will sprout
They never come out
Your hair it will fall
Like rain in a squall
As you slowly rot
The friends that you've got
Share your dilemma
Oops, i just dropped my enema
It's no fun getting older
But age makes you bolder
People will give you a pass
They'll whisper, "ignore the old ass"
So hard to believe we're all getting here
Please talk on my right-I'm deaf in that ear
We inch together toward the abyss
Who's going first? Not me, I'll be missed
And so will you oh, dearest friend
I 'll love and admire you until the end
Which is soon, by the way
Pack your bags and dress lightly
When you head toward the light
Don't look unsightly
We've shared so much fun- you,*** and I
It seems such a shame we all have to die
What's that sound?
Another vertebrae popped.
They're popping like corn
The fun never stops
Arthritis, wrinkles, sagging parts
Clogged up arteries, murmuring hearts
Diseased livers, dangling boobs
Cataracts, constipation, breathing from tubes
Oops, out of oxygen- call 911
Every day after fifty
Brings new fun
The Grim Reaper's watch
Goes tick... tick... tick... tock
Time's up, all aboard!
Are you ready to rock?
You'd better get going,
There's no where to hide
Friends wait in front and behind you
For eternal good times
Let's go for a beer
On the Other Side


  1. 50 is just the start of the game
    no need to rush, or focus on fame
    Wear the same pants again and again
    no one cares but you still have your friends
    50 is time to to learn things anew
    its all so much fun without a brew hoo
    While the bones they may creak and
    your eyes get a a bit blurry
    its a good time to love and stop all the worry


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