Now Playing: The Obsessed Flounder

Michael Douglas had Glen Close (Fatal Attraction, 1987); GA's stalker has gills (The Obsessed Flounder, 2012).

The Obsessed Flounder, shot entirely in Hoboken, is the true story of a flounder who fancied himself a shark, and became the pet of a wealthy madwoman .  Convinced he was a shark, the loaded lunatic  indulged the flounder with unlimited fish-food, letting him swim amok in Hoboken waters.

And he did.

Unencumbered by morals, ethics or conscience, he threw her fish-food about, attracting an assortment of sea-slugs, and they all lived happily in her non-profit tank at 1200 Washington Street. What did they do?   Day after day after day, they would all think of ways to please her for more fish-food.  Yum-yum. 

But the flounder.... he had only one thing on his mind:  hunting blogfish.

And believing he was a shark (not  a flounder of mediocre skills, sub-average intelligence, and issues with girl-fish),  his schemes were so-ill conceived and poorly executed, they exploded publicly and embarrassingly, making a mess all over her tank, muddying up the fish-food lady.  Ka-boom.

And the blogfish always got away; they were smarter and faster. 

But still, the hapless flounder believed he was extraordinary, never saw his own failure, so his schemes became more and more outrageous: a lawsuit,  midnight flyers, a Nazi Truck, a fishy charity funding a 527 political organization for the Mayor of Weehawken... but the focus of his serial failures, the object of his obsession: the proprietor of this blog.   GA-fish.   

And when he wasn't hunting her, he hunted Da Seahorse.

But the flounder's obsession with GA-fish so ruled his teeny-weenie fish-brain, that he forgot how to swim and lost the election for Move Forward!   Yep, it was a Kids-Fish sweep!  The sea-slugs and bottom-feeders got angry at the flounder.    Some started ratting out the flounder to GA-fish.  Some wanted him out of their tank but that would cut off their fish food supply.  Some said, "The fish food just ain't worth the trouble"and swam away.

Was losing an election enough repudiation for the obsessed flounder?  No.

On December 23, 2012  it appears he published a long, rambling rant on The Hoboken Reporter using the moniker, 'CyberDetRob'.   When his perceived identity- Flounder Boy- was revealed in two responses below it seems the flustered fishy had his comment deleted.

Thanks goodness for the Google cache,The Obsessed Flounder ends with this rambling ode to his obsession: bloggers.


  1. Mocks someone else for typos than he writes "on another SIGHT"
    What a MORON?

  2. Flounder, what Flounder??? James looks and acts more like a baby guppy to me. When, oh when, will he ever grow up to be respectable, gainfully-employed adult guppy and stop feeding at the bottom of the stinky fish tank with Matty C. Guppy, Nickey C. Guppy, Johnny C. Guppy, Joey B. Guppy, Mikey R. Guppy...I could just go on and on, there being so many mis-fit members of Hoboken's Baby Guppydom!

    1. All this fish-talk is reminding me how much I miss Apicella's on First Street. Especially around Christmas time when they put out the best for the Feast of the Seven Fishes. I bought sepias once and made squid ink spaghetti. Yum. Flounder is tasty- except that rotten one from Weehawken.

  3. try to discredit "us." Really? Who is the us fish breath is babbling on about?
    Anyway, I'd sooner be a Dancing Horsey before a Dancing Rudy.


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