Move Forward Tragedy: Campaign Canceled


HOBOKEN- As reports of Hurricane Sandy's destruction in the Caribbean come in, Hudson County municipalities continue their efforts to prepare for Sandy's arrival here.

The National Weather Services has indicated that Sandy could bring more than 5 inches of rain and wind gusts up to 70 miles an hour to the area.

In an unprecedented response to the pending weather emergency, Joe Branco and John Castellano, campaign co-managers of the Move Forward ticket have announced the cancellation of  their campaign.

"It's just too dangerous" said Castellano, "Getting hit in the face with a Nazi Truck flying at 70 MPH could cause serious injury, perhaps death. Now, if we could aim the truck at somebody's house- you know who" said Castellano winking, "Not mentioning any bloggers' names or a tie-breaking City Council member, that would be different. But Mother Nature is unpredictable and the truck could hit someone we like."


Branco, proprietor of a local business, said he was turning it into a temporary shelter during the storm.  "The first 50 refugees get a free drink," he said.

Other concerns about the effects of the storm are causing Move Forward to take precautions at their 1200 Washington Street campaign headquarters.   Said Castellano,"We are fastening down our political operatives with duck tape and have stored our midnight flyers above the acoustical tile ceiling.  We hope to keep our furniture down using Matt Calicchio as a counterweight."

Calicchio was asked if he minded being taped down atop a pile of furniture.  "Nah," he said smiling "The Boss Lady's sending me to Smackdown in Fayetteville next week with a credit card and a pile of fifies."  Asked how he'd manage his bathroom needs for the next 48 hours, Calicchio pointed to a box of Depends. "No problem. That videographer guy changes me when I fill up." 

The candidates did not appear concerned about the cancellation of their campaign.

"Look" said one candidate, "Less Nazi Truck means more cash in the bank. That means more votes for us."

Meanwhile, their opponents Kids First continue to spread the word about the tremendous progress they've made in cleaning up the corruption left by Move Forward's backers.   They affirmed that they did not need to cancel their campaign, as getting the message out does not require smear campaigns, dirty tricks or flashing swastikas on 5 large screens on a truck throughout Hoboken.

VOTE KIDS FIRST... K-L-M

Tom Kuepfel
Jean Marie Mitchell
Ruth McAllister

Comments

  1. Ran into some of the paid workers outside Sparrows uptown. I mentioned that when they were in charge before they loaded up on unneeded patronage jobs, no response. Then I mentioned $1,200 dinners at F&J's,. He replied "if I was doing A good job I would treat myself to dinner". I said "on the taxpayer's dime? No response except to offer me literature.

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