H411: Those Fat, Lazy Stroller Moms!

 (The following is a public service announcement courtesy of Hoboken411)

Attention, fat, weak and lazy stroller moms of the 2nd and 5th Wards: you will NOT have to drag your beefy keesters up the Elks Club stairs to vote today.

Instead, please haul your ample buttocks with Maserati strollers in tow to the following polling locations:
  • Ward 2-1: Brandt School (201 9th St.)
  • Ward 2-2: Hoboken Historical Museum (1301 Hudson)
  • Ward 5-2: Brandt School (201 9th St.)
If you are too weak, lazy or too fat to navigate the buildings' front doors the HFD will arrange a forklift to stuff you through a window opening- if your girth and Lamborghini carriage allow.  In case your gargantuan ass won't fit through the building fenestration, please request a provisional ballot- although you may be too lazy or weak to fill it out.  

And please ignore that vicious rumor about handicapped access being the real reason for the polling changes because Hoboken411 found out it was "100% due to stroller moms complaining."  That's  journalism.

These meaty moms aren't too lazy to complain, are they?

Those fatties.  Imagine, sitting around gobbling pallets of Twinkies and posting on message boards all day long... yet they can't haul their rotund rears and babies in Bentleys up some stairs to VOTE?

This has been a public service announcement courtesy of Hoboken411.

Fat, lazy and weak stroller mom?


  1. No stroller access issue for the agoraphobic CorpulentGal as she's never seen in public with her unfortunate offspring. Same is true for her plump uptown shut-in counterpart whose only public appearances are on Tim-Wits crackberry. No worries for them; Calicchio will be the custodian for their vote-by-mail ballots.

  2. great way for h411 to alienate a huge local readership base: insult them as being spoiled, fat and lazy. now that's a smart business development approach, LOL! does that guy even care anymore?

  3. They are fat & lazy b/c they can't pick up their stroller w/ 1 hand, their kid w/ the other and waltz up those stairs? Bet Perry couldn't do it either.

  4. Related question - do any women still read that site? That would be fairly discouraging.


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