A Hoboken Carol

Dear GA Readers,

Please enjoy these original renditions of cherished Christmas classics by our friend, Oracle:

Perp-walking in Hoboken Again
by Oracle

Doorbells ring, are you listening
In the street, sedans are glistening
Instilling such fright
At just their mere sight
Perp-walking in Hoboken again.

Gone away, is a jail-bird
Also to, is a mail-bird
He sings a tale-long
‘Cause she steered him wrong
Perp-walking in Hoboken again

Perjury is their new way of speaking
For they know no other way to be
But this cabal’s group has had some leaking
They’ll deal and squeal just trying to be free

Even though they conspired
Their grand schemes all backfired
By now they’re afraid
For plans that they made
Perp-walking in Hobken again

Lotsa G-Men Are Coming To Town
by Oracle

You better watch out
You better not spy
Better not tout
Your usual lies
Lotsa G-men are coming to town

They’re making a list,
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out who's naughty not nice.
Lotsa G-men are coming to town

They read you when you're tweeting
They know just what’s at stake
They know that you've been bad not good
We can’t wait to watch you quake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not spy.
Better not tout your usual lies.
Lotsa G-men are coming to town.
Lotsa G-men are coming to town!

Trusty The G-Man
by Oracle

Trusty the G-Man
Was a welcome trusted soul
With a state mandate and a search warrant
For those emails someone stole.

Trusty, the G-Man
Was a welcome guest to stay
He would come and go but the good folks know
Why he came to town one day.

There was a stench quite tragic
In those old hard-drives he found
For when he opened up the files
The recipients did astound!

O, Trusty the G-Man
Did continue his look-see
And the town folks pray he’d indict and stay
‘Cause we know there’s more than three.

Stealthfully seeking
Email leakings
Look what Trusty got.
Stealthfully seeking
Email leakings
Communications quite hot!

Trusty the G-Man
Knew the work would take more days
And at our behest he will hook the rest
Now before they go their ways

Down to the courthouse
Many charges in his hand
With no deals for all
They’re delusional
And their egos are quite grand

He led them down to Trenton town
Right to the state AG
And he only paused a moment when
They said “it’s her, not me!”

For Trusty the G-Man
Had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,
"Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."

Stealthfully seeking
Email leakings
Look what Trusty got.
Stealthfully seeking
Email leakings,
Communications quite hot!


  1. You're on a Yule roll, Oracle!

    More suggested titles:

    O, Take Them Down
    O, Take Them Down

    I Saw Russo Fleecing Every Cause

    Auld Guard Fyned

    Oh, Little Town of Beth's-Done-In

    Do You Fear What I Fear?
    (for the M.O.R.T. choir)

    Joy to the World, The Feds Have Come!

  2. Love them, guys. OK here's one for the Jews (my peeps):

    Prison Dreidel
    I have a little shiv
    I made it out of toilet paper
    when it's dry and ready
    I'll stick you if you mess with me

    It's not a dreidel, dreidel
    I made it out of toilet paper
    I poked a rat with it
    Scurrying in my cell

  3. Yet more indulgence begged, GA. Revised version:

    Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel
    My ELECs went astray
    Bluewater in my toilet
    I cannot flush away.

    Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel
    It came from Pay to Play
    But now run dry & Fed-y
    So Sing-Sing, I must stay.

    Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel,
    Just how am I to live
    And fend off all advances
    With just a paper shiv?


    Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel
    I am in such a rage
    I am so damn unready
    To live inside a cage.

  4. You just penned a classic, MBB. LOVE it!


  5. Thanks, GA!

    Also, I think a better title for the Russo carol might be: "I Saw Russo Fleecing Sans a Pause."

    How about George, Terry, Michelle, Michael & Anthony's holiday card: "Fleece Navidad, From Our Family to Yours!"

    And perhaps a new item for the Recall catalog: "The Originally Celebrated, Seriously Wrong--Beth's Bated Breath Mints."


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