Prison Hobbies

The topic of how to entertain oneself when confined to a 6' x 8' 3-sided cell; that's 48 sf gross minus space for the lidless stainless-steel toilet/sink unit AND the concrete bunk beds came up today when GA was perusing Patch.

That's not much space.

Say you've been ordered by the Department of Justice- the U.S. District Court in Newark to be precise- to live in such a place for, oh... maybe years... what to DO?

One would need a hobby.

And let's say that a particular convicted criminal were  so absolutely addicted to the internet, so obsessed with commenting on popular local message boards, that even while a probable person-of-interest in a federal/state criminal investigation, he just couldn't STOP shooting his mouth- uh, I mean 'fingers' off.

THAT is exactly the kind of person that needs a hobby in The Big House.

Or he'll go crazy(er).

Here's the comment from the suspect, uh...I mean anonymous blogger on that made me think of this.  He goes by the screen name Keating Five.

Well this anonymous blogger has a LOT on his mind:

Zimmer... Zimmer... Zimmer... Zimmer... Zimmer-istas... Zimmer-tinis....Zim-Zimmity-Zim... Zim-tastic... Zim-ula...Zim-ulations...Zimm-o-rama... Zim-o-matic... Zim-sational... Zim-phouria.... Zim-Zam-the-Ice-Cream-Man... Super-cal-i-Zim-a-licious... beep beep beep... CRUSH KILL DESTROY...

Oh, dear.  This boy needs a prison hobby and needs one BAD.

Here's what I suggested to him, the anonymous  Keating Five:

Hey!  I just found another project for our locked-up friend-  how to make a yak out of a toilet paper roll!

It looks like this:


Cute, huh.  Are scissors are allowed in prison?   

GA will have to find out.

Anyway,  I'm posting this to see if you can help me come up with more prison-hobbies.  You can post them to our anonymous friend, Keating Five, wherever he shows  up.  

Like HERE, for example.

I'll try, try, try my darndest to think up more, but  like the typical Hoboken reformer, I'm not under current federal and state investigation.

So you understand my dilemma.  GA couldn't imagine what it would be like breaking into City employees' email accounts, leaking City information and engaging in a criminal wire fraud  conspiracy... it's all so unfamiliar....

WHOEVER might have done that.  We don't  know.

Anyway, please help think of more prison hobbies.   

Would making shadow puppets be considered a hobby or performance art?