CELEBRITY GUEST: bludiamonds????

-

Hello?

How are you?

My name is bludiamonds? I’m entertaining GA’s kindly request that I venture outside my home in the Wild West of the nj.com Hoboken forum to share some thoughts with you today?

I’d like to take this opportunity to share with all of you a lesson for the day, a lesson in semantics?

I am a master of semantics, you see? An absolute master? Semantics is actually a very simple  craft to master when you are in the unique position I am in, which is, namely, being the smartest person in the whole wide world with a slippery, seductive manner of lulling all of you stupid, stupid Zimmer Zombies into a trance with my silver-tongued sermons at each council meeting (on each and every point one can possibly speak on) and in the ghost-writings I of course never write for Mason411, through which I obtain no compensation whatsoever because I have never been paid one penny for my friendship?

 You see? It’s as easy as that? That’s the magic of semantics, right there in a nutshell? But like I said, it might not be as simple for you, because I am uniquely gifted and you are uniquely susceptible, because I’m so super and you’re all so stupid? Still, I’m feeling generous and accommodating today, so I’ll go out on a limb and share some pearls of semantical wisdom with you, on the off chance that you might have eaten a hearty brain-food dinner last night and possibly manage to grasp at least a far-flung kernel of my invaluable insights?

So, in our first example, which for all you stupid people, is what I just demonstrated above, I played a very clever semantical trick on all of you? I assert that I have never, ever received one penny for my “friendship” with Beth Mason? See how I pulled the wool over all of your eyes? By adding on that easily overlooked layer of high-level specificity, I changed the meaning of my statement entirely, and, in essence, answered a very different question than what has been asked, which is whether I derive any compensation for my work for the Councilwoman at all???? Tricky, tricky me???

Here’s another example? At the last council meeting, I took the bull by the horns and dispelled, beyond any question, the rumors dogging me that I am not an altruistic concerned citizen activist at all but in fact a political operative playing the angles in search of a communications job in City Hall, to be granted to me by my countess Beth Mason when she inevitably becomes Mayor? I had expected me or my wife would be rewarded for our service two years ago, but then I accidentally helped her lose the election, so I sucked up to Peter Cammarano in the runoff, and he WON, and I was going to get a job for me or my wife, but then he got arrested and everything was shot to heck? The good of the city means about as much to me as a whale’s wet fart, I’m just in this for a job? And I’m going to GET ONE DAMMIT???

But I digress? I took to the microphone at the last council meeting, dusted off my silver-coated tongue, puffed up my purple pillow, and stated declaratively that I have never sought any “sworn position” in City Hall, and that anyone who says otherwise “is nothing but a contemptible liar”? This was another dose of semantical politrickery? The City Hall jobs that require the swearing of an oath of office are mainly the director’s jobs? So once again I was addressing a different question than the one on the table, and appearing to deny being a job-seeking job-seeker when, by being as semantically specific as I was, I was basically admitting  to it?

But of course you would never have picked up on that had I not just explained it to you, because I’m so super and you’re so stupid? It pays to be an evil genius who talks and acts like a cartoon villain? It really does?

So as you can see, I am truly an expert in semantics? I am currently in the process of working my semantical magic on the good fellows I meet with regularly down in Newark? Yes, even the FBI is susceptible to semantics? You see, any information I may or may not have been involved in obtaining illegally from city computers was public information anyway? Sort of like if I break into your house and breathe your air? It’s not breaking and entering if all I’m doing is taking what’s available for free anyway? See how clever I am? The FBI boys do? I’m showing them my evil genius and it will surely work wonders? I’ll show them? I’ll show you?

I’LL SHOW YOU ALL????

GA Note: GA wishes to thank local celebrity bludiamonds for appearing as our first CELEBRITY Guest.  Luv ya, blu!

XO,

GA

If any other celebrities out there would like to appear here just have your people email my people at grafixavenger666@gmail.com