Who Did THIS?- UPDATED

(original post, 2/4/11)

Ok folks, GA doesn't get raging pissed often but today when I stepped out my door to walk LA (Little Avenger) to school and saw what I'm about to show you, I got raging pissed.

Check this out: on the corner of Willow Terrace (North) and Clinton Street.

What the HELL?

This happened sometime in the night or early morning... the garbage actually blocks the sidewalk on Clinton Street (and the crosswalk) where many commuters pass on their way to the bus stop 1/2 block away.

See how the crosswalk is blocked?

This is a hazard.  How many people tripped over this crap running for the NJ Transit  bus?

Let's get a little closer, shall we?

What have we here?  Oh... somebody got a new carpet!  How charming.  So they ripped out the old underlayment and threw it in the street.  Makes sense to me.

Isn't that nice... an empty bottle of chardonnay!

If it's true that you can judge the person by the wine they drink, this one- Charles Shaw- sells for $2.99 at Trader Joe's.  

You can ask me how I know that.

Well, we can't gulp down our $2.99 bottle of wine without a little SNACK, now could we?

Yummy cashews!

Mmmm tasty!  We'll just throw the bag on the ground when we're done!

Alright, I have a few words for this person.

Dear Slob,

It was so nice to find the artifacts of your daily life strewn about on my corner this morning.

The commuters running to the bus stop today would also like to thank you for the aerobic exercise they received leaping over your garbage to avoid tripping head-first into the icy street.

And more than a few parents walking their kids to school (like me) or pushing strollers are better people today for having seen your garbage splayed out in their path, forcing them around your delightful heaps of crap.  Heaven!

Yes, my heart goes out to you, Mr./Ms. Slob;  the long walk across Clinton Street to the A&P Supermarket where 3-ply Hefty garbage bags might set you back a few bucks, then  neatly filling those bags and sealing them with twist-ties... well... it's so much work.  

And who wants to do that? 

It's much easier to fling your household waste where the public can enjoy it and wonder what future offerings you might gift us with.

Not only that, why bother with the garbage pick-up SCHEDULE on the City Hall Web site which a monkey could find in 1 click on Google?

It's MUCH easier to toss your trash out whenever you FEEL like it. Why be a slave to  schedules?  They're so bourgeois.  Toss your heaps of household waste out the door whenever the spirit moves you. We don't mind.

Because it's all about YOU.

Thanks again for making our neighborhood a better place.

With affection, 

Your neighbor

 Now, if anyone would like to reward this kind of thoughtfulness on THEIR block, perhaps with a summons, the number at City Hall is (201) 420-2049.

AND...

If you find such sights around YOUR neighborhood, feel free to email pics to GA along with the precise location and they shall be posted.

(Updated, 2/5/11- 10:20 am)

Hey SLOB,  look what GA's done for you!

I've downloaded the garbage pick-up schedule for you from the City Hall web site and posted it here... just in case the Google-search thing gives  you as much trouble as packing your garbage neatly in 3-ply bags and leaving it at the corner when you're supposed to.

Although I noted a monkey could have found this in 1 click, some primates are even more clever than humans.