H411 on Life Support- UPDATED!

Quick, somebody pull the plug!

I'm convinced that one of the intended 'benefits' of Beth Mason's NJDC-gate Scandal (planting a hit-piece on GA linked to Hoboken411 ) was to drive traffic to that cyber-tabloid, reviving it from the brink of death.

Beep...beep... beep... beep... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Doctor, the patient's not breathing!

Other than controlling the message, surely Mason recognized that her ghostwriter Lane Bajardi was writing for a ghost town; visitors drive through it without stopping. And if a bucket of mud falls in a forest but no one's there to hear it, did it defame and destroy its target?


That's the problem with operating a slime machine like Hoboken411; once you've repelled all the decent folk in town, you're left with a handful of misanthropes who can only vote once.

So what else can one do to drive traffic back than create an 'event'. Sadly the NJDC, a once- respected Washington PAC, has tarnished itself badly in embracing Hoboken's own Medusa, Beth Mason. If you recall, Mason's an NJDC-donor and her bud Larry Stempler, is a Mason donor/fundraiser and on the NJDC Board of Directors.

Well, since GA's traffic has gone through the roof lately, I naturally assumed that H411 had seen a big uptick, too. After all, they've been whoring this NJDC-thing like a bordello fire-sale. So this morning I went to Alexa.com, the web statistics site, to check Klaussen's stats.

Nurse, quick! Pass the defribulator... I can't resuscitate the patient... he's turning blue...

WOW. Perry Klaussen fell right off the graph! Call Dr. Kevorkian!

His traffic rank slipped 37,175 places in the PAST MONTH:

It looks like Klaussen has managed to drive away even MORE of his 'audience' with his tabloid- style character assassinations and mean-spiritedness (like showing the corpse of a drowned Hoboken woman and calling her a 'floater').

More bad news for Perry Klaussen:

And it keeps getting worse.

Gee, I guess this NJDC hit operation didn't work out too well for Hoboken411. In fact, the Klaussen deluge of nastiness seems to have driven people away.

I guess they came to me.

Did I tell you my traffic's doubled in the past month? And that more than 1/3 of my visitors stay 1 hour or more?

Oooops... that wasn't supposed to happen.

Well, it's not all bad news for you, Klaussen. Here's a rave review from one of your readers posted on Alexa.com:

Wow! I have to concur with everything this reader said. I guess I'm a fan, too.

Further, one has to wonder how much money Hoboken411.com generates from ad revenue (can't be much), so how does it stay afloat? Hmmmm.....

Oh, did you hear something? It sounds like a long, flat beeping sound.....

I'm sorry Doctor. The patient's gone.

(Hilarious Update- 5:25 pm)

Well, it looks like GA hit a nerve over at the mud factory! With hilarious results!

Klaussen posted a defense of his web traffic cloaked in wildly fictitious spin. Are you ready for this-? He boasted 90 million hits in the last month!

Somebody, grab Klaussen's crack pipe.

90 freakin' million! Those are eBay numbers! Think I'm kidding?


OK, not apples-to-apples; eBay got an estimated 65.1 million people (unique visitors) this month, but Klaussen's alleged 90 million hits/month is in the same territory.

Is this the bullshit he's telling his advertisers?

Are his advertisers are paying ad rates based on 90 million hits/month?


If true... well, that would be fraud. But I'm sure a reputable character like Perry Klaussen would NEVER... EVER... oh, never mind.

Well... let's float down from the stratosphere and look at more realistic traffic numbers for Hoboken411 from the reputable web stat company quantcast.com.

Hoboken411.com appears to be a subscriber, but for some peculiar reason, this blockbuster, 90-million hit web site hides his traffic data. Gee, if he's got 90 million hits/month, why's he hiding it? Kinda makes ya wonder... what if...

Well, 21.3K hits/month really isn't that bad. In fact, I just checked Hoboken Journal's traffic stats (click on Statcounter link at the bottom of the page) HJ got 20,715 hits last month! So Hoboken411 is in Hoboken Journal territory!

Kurt, maybe you should be charging Klaussen's ad rates...


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  2. Hoboken 411.com stays afloat with generous allocations from Rickey's partner draw at Wachtell Lipton, where he's got to be pulling down between $5 and $6 million a year. I think he just throws the green stuff at Beth to shut her up.

  3. oops- I put the wrong link up in my previous post.

    Somehow Lane and Perry found a Rabbi who condemns corner cars (not just Hoboken corner cars but all corner cars) ... really I'm not making this up! Not sure if Mason $$$ are involved at some level (other than to H411) but if they were she forgot to ask for an added condemnation of GA. Phew. An all new low for Lane and Perry- every time I think they've hit bottom they go further. My sides are splitting from laughing.


  4. Please if can come tonite the Corner Car program and the 4th Ward alleged fraud are to important to pass up. If you have never spoken before the council before please try to do so. Fresh faces always make a better impression. If you can't speak please clap in support of these 2 vital issues.


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