Monday, March 28, 2016

Exorcism included or à la carte?


Anyone who watches A Haunting knows how a demon can attach itself to an inanimate object (like desks, counter tops, modular cubes, drawing tables and file cabinets) and be transported with the object.

Anyone who watches When Ghosts Attack knows what a malevolent spirit can do.

That is why GA recommends objects which may contain malevolent energies-  a demon or angry spirit- be cleansed immediately upon entering your home.

Preemptive cleansing may save you from exorcism later.

In fact, cleansing is economical; all you need is a bundle of white sage (known as a "smudge stick") to do it yourself.   Whereas, exorcisms don't guarantee results, ritual cleansing with a smudge stick is known to expel malevolent spirits; it is an ancient practice believed to be rooted in Native American culturethough that could be wrong.

You know the old saying: spare the sage, spoil the demon.

One sign of demonic possession is you will make shit up out of whole cloth then publish it in a newspaper.  You may also plot with other demons to plant stories in your newspaper or to embarrass your enemies or to swing local elections.  You will also serve demonic entities who buy weekly ads on page 3.  One should avoid demonic possession at all cost.

Therefore, before you carry home an inanimate object with a demon attached, obtain your own smudge stick.  



Now, you are ready to cleanse.

GA recommends this YouTube tutorial called,  "WHITE SAGE SMUDGE STICK CLEAN AND PURIFY YOUR AURA GET RID OF DEMONS AND SPACE VAMPIRE FOR GOOD MAKE"

If you stick with it, you will eventually discover if the instructor is wearing pants:


Happy shopping!

7 comments:

  1. Scrub [redacted's] dried jizz off the desk and maybe I'll buy it.

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    Replies
    1. Don't go a knockin if the modular cube is a rockin.

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  2. hey davy, got any purple pillows for sale? how about dried up fish chum? or maybe one of al sullivan's magic 8-balls?

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  3. What about that desk [redacted] banged his cohort and then the two young harlots?

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  4. If those walls could talk.

    ReplyDelete