Here's PROOF that GA is a serial killer.
Aaaaaaargh! Cut down in the prime of life...those Twinkies never had a chance.
Ricky, I know you're a busy guy. So I've written your next letter for you... just copy-paste:
I wish to comment on Ms. Nancy Pincus’s Twinkies that she posted on her Grafix Avenger Internet blog in late September.. My wife, Councilwoman Beth Mason, and I were on vacation in August with my BlackBerry, telephone, laptop and numerous other devices providing global wireless communication at the time, and so now is my first opportunity to react publicly.
In her cake, Ms. Pincus states that she has always wanted to bake someone, and that she would like to bake 4 Twinkies and throw them in the garbage if no one wants to eat them. We presume it’s our garbage.
The United States Constitution allows each and every one of us to bake the greatest, or the most appalling, cakes. Our First Amendment right of free speech is what sets this country apart from, say, Syria, where you can be shot in the street for calling on the president to bake, or North Korea, where if you complain about hunger you can go to prison for life.
But with our First Amendment right, comes a responsibility of the same order, especially if the speaker is a political baker- like Ms. Pincus. We may all have sharp disagreements on recipes but we should never suggest to resolve them by eating our Twinkies. Ms. Pincus’s cake, available for all to see on the Internet, violated the most basic trust that the public puts in our bakers, to bake wisely and behave in a manner that does not encourage or incite cannibalism.
Ms. Pincus is a close ally of Mayor Zimmer, who likes to bake, too and the council majority. She is a member of the Zoning Board, on which she never bakes. In spite of that, her cooking demonstrates that, at a minimum, she does not have the demeanor to judge her fellow residents recipes, particularly if they favor healthy ingredients instead of candy or ones that are high-calorie. I am appalled that neither the mayor nor the majority have lifted a finger to remove her from her kitchen, nor have they said anything about her public hankering to use a weapon to cut those helpless Twinkies, other than, in the case of the council majority, to laugh it off as a joke. The mayor herself has said not a word. No, she's got her mouth full of birthday cake.
Ms. Pincus says that her cake was for her child's birthday. But let me ask this: what if the same cake was baked by a high school student, who said on-line that he would love to bake someone? Maybe a Twinkie? Or a Devil Dog? Perhaps even a Ring Ding? Would we think it was funny then? Would we sit by and do nothing?
Does that work for you, Ricky?
Timmy, when you call your HPD buddies for your next 'favor' show them that grisly crime scene photo.
And for everybody's pet weasel-with-the-easel: a high resolution version will be available for show time tonight. And you know he'll be bringing his best buttery-smooth baritone and his BlackBerry to put words in Beth Mason's mouth.