HOBOKEN, Valentine's Day- Today reports of a direct mail-massacre are coming in from residents all over Hoboken, NJ.
The massacre appears to have affected all six wards of the Mile-Square city.
Mailboxes through-out the city have complained that the 6 x 9-inch, two-sided cards are clogging them up so that residents' Valentine cards cannot fit. One mailbox moaned, "Its not even election time... why oh why?"
The direct-mail is two-sided, covered with hearts, a quote from Maya Angelou and "Romano2017." The mail provides numerous ways to contact Ms. Angelou: email, Facebook, Twitter, a website and Instagram.
If you are a victim of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, a survivors group will be holding a Meet-up soon at a Hoboken bar near you.
Victims, send your photos to GA at firstname.lastname@example.org