Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Playing tomorrow: Count SLAPPula's Defeat
Venue: Jersey City Municipal Court
Time: 9:00 AM
Starring: Count SLAPPula (played by Councilwoman Beth Mason)
Featuring: a Horse (played by MSV)
Supporting cast: To be announced
Plot: The evil Count SLAPPula rises again! SLAPPula's 2012 effort to bleed MSV, GA and the John Doe(s) dry failed miserably when her undead henchmen exposed themselves to sunlight 50,000 times. The sunlight burned the henchmen to a crisp. The crispy henchmen were ordered to re-pay their victims; fortunately for the wronged, the henchmen own property whose total assessed value is $589,400. Not to mention their bank accounts! And priceless Brady Bunch car collection! Vrroom vrooom.
(Did I mention it was the legal equivalent of the S.S. Hindenberg?)
Anyway, Count SLAPPula's thirst raged on and on, so she filed TWO criminal complaints against the Horse. Of course, of course. Count SLAPPula claimed to be "offended and harrassed" when subpoenaed to testify at the Hindenburg trial. Count SLAPPula claimed to be "harassed" by having her photo taken. Unbeknownst to Count SLAPPula, the clever Horse had tricks up his... hoof. Well, not "tricks," but a lot of sunlight. See what happens to Count SLAPPula tomorrow when she is exposed to sunlight in Jersey City Municipal Court. Don't forget your 50 SPF!
GA Note: Gastrointestinal distress, debilitating dread, exhaustion, tension headaches are common afflictions of lying liars who mistake courtrooms for political battlefields. Some liars even vomit before their deposition, and fail to clean up after (ewwww).... then weep repeatedly, disrupting the proceedings over and over again.
How is Councilwoman Beth Mason feeling today?