A shocking revelation made by Carmelo Garcia at his Wednesday night campaign kickoff in Church Square Park, has rocked the 6th Ward City Council race.
Mr. Garcia announced to the crowd of a dozen or so, "I am a hybrid!"
What does this revelation portend for an election contest against a challenger of a single species? (Ms. Giattino, please confirm!)
It appears that the roll-out to this shocking news was an unidentified campaign staffer who labeled candidate Garcia a "killer combo" in PolitickerNJ.
Unlike a hybrid, a "killer combo" is not necessarily a genetic fusion of different species. For example, ham and cheese is a killer combo. If the ham procreates with the cheese, it would create a ham-cheese hybrid.
Hybrids are amazing. Look what happens when you mate a pug with a loaf of bread:
As a 6th Ward registered voter, I believe it is incumbent upon Mr. Garcia to identify his hybrid elements thus assuring voters he is a full-fledged Homo sapiens. I hope Ms. Giattino will ask him to do so at the coming debates. GA respects the constitutional rights of hybrids (like Mr. Garcia), but the voters are entitled to know more about this. Voters are entitled to know why Mr. Garcia withheld his condition from us until now.
|HYBRIDS: left: panguin, right: girnana|
As 6th Ward voters await clarification on Mr. Garcia's hybrid status, GA would like to remind his attorney, Louis Zayas, Esq. that the latest iteration of the hybrid's lawsuit against a whole bunch of elected Homo sapiens needs amending accordingly.
GA has provided the following template for Mr. Zayas:
Good news, Hoboken. Amending Carmelo Garcia's ethnic cleansing/ racketeering/ discrimination complaint will not cost Hoboken taxpayers a penny... that's because we've already shelled out the $150,000 deductible to defend our white citizen Homo sapiens mayor.
Don't thank me, Louis!
6th Ward voter & Hoboken taxpayer
Note: Hybrids are not to be confused with "killer combos."