Friday, August 7, 2015

SHOCKER: Carmelo announcement: "I am a hybrid"



A shocking revelation made by Carmelo Garcia at his Wednesday night campaign kickoff in Church Square Park, has rocked the 6th Ward City Council race.

Mr. Garcia announced to the crowd of a dozen or so, "I am a hybrid!"

HYBRID: Roo-no 

What does this revelation portend for an election contest against a challenger of a single species?  (Ms. Giattino, please confirm!)

It appears that the roll-out to this shocking news was an unidentified campaign staffer who labeled candidate Garcia a "killer combo" in PolitickerNJ.

Unlike a hybrid, a "killer combo" is not necessarily a genetic fusion of different species.  For example, ham and cheese is a killer combo.  If the ham procreates with the cheese, it would create a ham-cheese hybrid.

Make sense?

 HYBRIDsharse 

Hybrids are amazing.  Look what happens when you mate a pug with a loaf of bread:

HYBRID: ploaf

As a 6th Ward registered voter, I believe it is incumbent upon Mr. Garcia to identify his hybrid elements thus assuring voters he is a full-fledged Homo sapiens.  I hope Ms. Giattino will ask him to do so at the coming debates.  GA respects the constitutional rights of hybrids (like Mr. Garcia), but the voters are entitled to know more about this.  Voters are entitled to know why Mr. Garcia withheld his condition from us until now.

HYBRIDS: left: panguin, right: girnana

As 6th Ward voters await clarification on Mr. Garcia's hybrid status, GA would like to remind his attorney, Louis Zayas, Esq. that the latest iteration of the hybrid's lawsuit against a whole bunch of elected Homo sapiens needs amending accordingly.

GA has provided the following template for Mr. Zayas:



Good news, Hoboken.  Amending Carmelo Garcia's ethnic cleansing/ racketeering/ discrimination complaint will not cost Hoboken taxpayers a penny... that's because we've already shelled out the $150,000 deductible to defend our white citizen Homo sapiens mayor.

Don't thank me, Louis!

Sincerely,
6th Ward voter & Hoboken taxpayer
GA

Note: Hybrids are not to be confused with "killer combos."

12 comments:

  1. I always knew Carmelo was part donkey (aka, ass).

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  2. Politicker is following Carmelo's campaign closely. That's the third story so far. The campaign is feeding them misinformation... Politicker writes that Carmelo got kicked of a "housing board" for suing the mayor. All wrong.

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  3. Carmelos shtick does not go over in the sixth ward. His HHA flock screaming and yelling with signs- patty waiters and "do the right thing not the white thing" woud get a big thumbs down in ward six. The menagerie would scare and/or turn off the sixth ward residents and he knows it. Notice how Joe Branco has disappeared!! Thank the Nazi truck debacle for that. Joey and the Nazi truck are wedded together forever. Curious to find Biancamano at his fund raiser. It looks like a truce btwn the Raia- Ramos peeps. Lets see how long that lasts!

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    Replies
    1. Where's the guy that posted about jewish women humping jackals? I don't know if went to the kickoff. He used to show up for Carmelo at the city council.

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    2. Hard to imagine a Raia-Ramos truce if Timmy is on Pupie's ticket.

      Also, I guarantee none of those characters -- Stick, Ruben, Biancamano, Campos, etc. -- paid $300 to get in there. No. Way. This "fund raiser" was complete BS, much like the candidate himself.

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    3. http://www.hobokenhorse.com/2015/02/breaking-nazi-truck-mastermind.html

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  4. Carmelo Garcia collects a Pension from his many years servicing Maurice Fitzgibbons as his "Chief of (The) Staff"
    Stick Romano kept "Memo" ( his teenage gang name ) around ... must have worried about some recordings leaking?

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  5. OUCH! This week's column by Augie Torres in the JJ/nj.com is BRUTAL: http://www.nj.com/opinion/index.ssf/2015/08/hobokens_outgoing_assemblyman_wants_to_be_wanted_-.html

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  6. I bet he sat next to Tyra Banks in classes at Harvard too.

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  7. Great minds cut and paste alike.

    Carmelo on July 8th.

    Jamie Cryan on July 7th.

    I guess they both lift their faux literacy from the same quote-of-the-day website.

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    Replies
    1. Not too long ago Carmelo Garcia stabbed Jamie Cryan in the back for Anthony Romano this quote came to mind:

      "Some people are willing to betray years of friendship just to get a little bit of the spotlight." Lauren Conrad

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