HOBOKEN- In an act of civil disobedience, protesting the firing of HHA Director Carmelo Garcia, a bird belonging to a renowned anti-Vision 20/20 activist committed suicide in its cage last night. The bird, last seen playing happily at 2PM yesterday, had offed itself sometime before midnight, when the activist returned home to find him upside-down in his cage. The bird had scratched a suicide note in bird seed:
I CAN I DID JUST WATCH MEE
A poor speller, the creature had apparently heard the news about the 5-2 vote to terminate Mr. Garcia's contract in a special meeting of the HHA last night and did not wish to go on living. The bird was known to support Vision 20/20, the proposed razing of the HHA and displacement of its' residents, and was often spotted riding the building elevator to leave droppings on its $38.K vinyl floor. The feathered-fan of Vision 20/20 also endorsed leaving the 14 brand-new 'Sandy-proof' generators in shrink wrap to moulder in a parking lot nearby, preferring blackouts and loss of fire protection should a meth lab explode. So furious that the safety of residents might be improved, that elevators would no longer wear diapers, that contracts would not be fattened like Thanksgiving turkeys, the young, healthy and active bird made itself drop dead in its cage.
When the activist returned to her apartment to find the bird-suicide, her dog attacked her. The canine was so distraught at Mr. Garcia's removal (a Vision 20/20 supporter, too) it lunged at her, terrorized and terrified at Mr. Garcia's firing as though someone had entered the apartment while she was gone.
In fact, the pup was agitated that Mr. Garcia's replacement was named "Fox."
The website Hudson County View recorded the scene at City Hall last night. They call it "Chaos Erupts at Special Meeting to terminate Executive Director Garcia's Contract."
GA calls it "Birth of another Ginned-Up Complaint against a Local Blogger."
No funeral will be held. In lieu of flowers, please send your next paycheck to the office of attorney Louis Zayas, who has bravely fought ethnic cleansing at the HHA and the racist policies of this administration.