prosbus Fakes Own Death

click HERE to read

Here's HOW he did it:

Suicide note.

GA (and others) had a belly laugh over this one. Here's what someone sent last night:
Reading this had me howling in laughter, almost in tears, "given up writing for other sites (Hate411 admission) too and I've had it with my wife."
Not buying, prosbus.

You see, I've seen my share of true-crime dramas on TV.

One familiar plot line of a criminal who wishes to break from his past- or disassociate himself from the commission of a crime is to fake his own death.

C'mon, we've all seen that a thousand times.  It always goes like this:

Person X aids and abets Person Y to sell zoning variances at a local diner.  Person Y does the actual crime and six days later, Person X appeals to the governing body of his city to grant Person Y control of the zoning adjustment board for the remainder of his term. (Did I tell you that  Person Y was the Mayor?)

So, Person Y commits the crime then Person X appeals for Person Y to retain the power to continue his corruption of the zoning adjustment process.

But guess what?

Person FBI heard the entire cash-for-variance exchange and ARRESTS Person Y the next day!  Wow!

So what happens to Person X?

He scurries away like a RAT amidst all the hoopla, escapes public scrutiny.  Does he thank his lucky stars and try to make amends for being an accessory to the now-disgraced and infamous Person Y?

No!

In addition to participating in many vicious smear campaigns, possible data theft off the City's servers and numerous unethical political activities including online attacks under a series of monikers, Person Y sets his sights on Person GA- who happens to sit on the board that he, Person X sought to corrupt on behalf of the now-indicted Person Y.

Big mistake.  Because Person GA never surrenders to bullies, clowns or accessories to crimes like selling zoning variances.  Did I tell you Person GA had a blog?  Similar to the one you're reading right now.

So  now we're getting to the end of this familiar true-crime story...

It seems that Person X and his wife, Agent Twinkie (she eats them by the box) have been blogging disturbingly hateful and twisted political fiction in a prolific manner under (2) names in particular:
Agent Twinkie as Curious Gal and Person X as prosbus. 

(An example of their depravity if you remain unconvinced: Agent Twinkie and Person X are parents of a young child yet attack our public schools 24/7 for reasons unknown)

Back to our true-crime drama.

So, after Person X/ prosbus pens yet another lie about Person GA, she gets fed up with the little runt (Did I tell you he was diminutive?  Pocket-sized, in fact.  Is everything tiny on Person X?  Including his.. you know.  Perhaps that's why he's very, very angry- at women in particular.  Maybe Agent Twinkie knows.  Perhaps we should call her Agent Tweezers?)

Alright, alright... I'll wrap it up.

So Person GA reminds everyone that Person Y's crime was followed 6 DAYS later by Person X's City Council DEFENSE of Person Y's authority to fill more variance 'promises'...

Person Y and Agent Twinkie go NUTS.  They don't WANT to talk about it.  They don't want US to talk about it.

First, Person Y and his portly partner try censorship.

Somehow they have dozens of inquiries about the Person X/Y relationship deleted on a local message board because they HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THIS CONVERSATION. This backfires badly. They can't stop the online community from buzzing with interest and asking questions.

Worse, Person X and Agent Twinkie can no longer smear and obfuscate and post fiction because NO ONE wants to talk about anything else with them. So... if censorship fails, death is the only answer.

That's right.   

prosbus must 'off' himself.  Then, after some time passes, Person X and Agent Twinkie will rise gain, to continue where they left off only under new screen names.

So Person X or Agent Twinkie or a third party posts the suicide note, promising to leave political life and... slamming Agent Twinkie  on the way out: "I've had it with my wife."

Only he doesn't mean it, but we do!

Listen folks, this fire-breathing weasel and his poisonous spouse ain't going anywhere.  They're counting on memory loss to save the day, but we won't let that happen.

Will we?

Secret Agent Twinkie on duty.

Comments

  1. I'm so glad Patch is running Oh-bitch-uaries.

    If only this one were true. Much like his benefactress, Mrs. Richard G. Mason, Lane Bajardi's pathology will not allow him to keep quiet or stay out of the public view for long.

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  2. I predict a return to demographic potato-heads. These are stick figures based on ham-handedly affixing 1 or 2 demographic characteristics to a potato and trying to pass it off as a fully formed human being.

    Lane actually had one called "uptown yuppie" at one point. Who the eff calls himself "uptown yuppie"? But when it's just you and the wife and no one to say, "My friend, that is a reaaaaaaally stupid idea," demographic potato-heads (DP's) just seem to happen.

    Things to note about DP's. They are in transition. They voted for Dawn but now they aren't so sure. They are just looking for information, but lead the conversation in a predetermined direction. And they don't know nuthin' 'bout bloggin' no babies. Complete internet neophytes, they will tell you. See, I just heard about this site from my demographic potato-head friend....

    SixthWardSoccerMom. I've just moved here from A Suburb. I really like it. I have 2 1/2 kids. My husband works in a Big Building. I'm not into politics. But I'm concerned with my city council representative. I voted for Jen Giattino - but now I'm not so sure. So I'm just here looking for information. Is it just me or is she a little arrogant? I wish she could be more like that nice Mr Occhipinti...

    1stStreetPartyAnimal. Dude, what's up with Zimmer? I voted for her - but now I'm not so sure. I hear she cancelled the parade. Not cool. I had all my friends from State University coming and we were going to paaaarrrtaaaaay! See, after a long day of working in a Big Building, I just want to come home and have some fun and not find out my car has been booted again. I've been hearing a lot about that on 1010WINS which we listen to all day in the Big Building. And of course even worse stories about all the crime when I watch Fox network news with my crew. Dude, does Zimmer really know what young guys like me are thinking? I wish she could be more like my man Occhipinti. He so crazy....

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    Replies
    1. You're probably right on this prediction, Info, but as you've so accurately pointed out, their messages and perspectives will reveal their sick and jaundiced view of all that is right and good and best for Hoboken.

      This version of the Witless Protection Program won't last long - they're addicted to being in the public arena in whatever format they can, even when that same public his nothing but disgust for them.

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    2. Haw haw, you've nailed it info.

      One can see they're test-driving 'kinder and gentler', and will practice that before rolling out a new 'potato-head demographic' you call it.

      But like you've said, they're like kids hiding behind skinny trees-- we'll spot them instantly.

      'Witless Protection Program'- haw haw! Love it.

      Delete
  3. oh man, info nails it, excellent job. i can just see lane and kim reading your comment right now and saying "damn, now we have to think up something else!" if "sara sullivan" is anything to go by, the new personas will be easy enough to identify.

    and oracle, you also score with the "witless protection program" line, hilarious!

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    Replies
    1. Way too much money gets wagered on the intelligence and sophistication of those two. Just this week Eric jokingly referred to Lane fighting for Cammarano's right control zoning right after Cammarano started selling variances at $25k a pop as "a coincidence". Not an hour later Kim C. called it "a coincidence". He was joking, honey.

      This is a big problem with people with no sense of humor. Jokes sail over their heads and they lose all sense of context. This, by the way, is also the genesis of all 3 of their outrageous attacks on GA.

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  5. Well done, Info & Oracle!

    Yes, the parallels with TV crime dramas do seem apt, GA.

    MBB is reminded of an episode of Law & Order: SVU. Martin Short chillingly portrays a glib sociopath who repeatedly insinuates himself into the center of an investigation. Claiming some sort of clairvoyance, he narcissistically endeavors to manipulate everyone involved to maintain his prominence.

    Aiding & abetting is his clearly "off" wife, toting their infant, mostly treated by the parents as some extraneous object.

    As the detectives investigate, false identities & "coincidences" are revealed. Ultimately, their pathological lying, sick behavior & twisted marriage bleed through to their unraveling & arrest as the perpetrators.

    If only it could be so handily resolved in an hour!

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