While it seems Hoboken's own City Council Dumbinatrix has darkened our lives forever, he grew from a twinkle in the late Maurice Fitzgibbon's eye to a full-blown case of glaucoma in less than 3 years.
For a short time, we had the thinking-machine, budget-whiz Mike Lenz sitting where Occhipinti is today.
Lenz came equipped with a sophisticated internal hard drive, allowing him to speak extemporaneously, form complex thoughts in real time, and articulate a vision for our City in a manner even his critics might agree was thoughtful and statesman-like. And after the grand-standers and show-ponies on the dais had their say, GA had always looked forward to the breath of intelligence from Lenz, sprinkled like fairy dust over the resistant skulls of the Council minority, hoping against hope they'd give up the game and finally govern.
They never did.
Then on November 2, 2010 a tidal wave of absentee ballots and 575 campaign workers washed out Lenz and left in it's wake...
The difference between the two men is striking.
While Lenz came equipped with a lightning-fast internal hard drive, the Dumb-inatrix came with an external hard drive, outsourcing his brain to handlers who transmit Timmy's thoughts via the electronic devices he clutches at every meeting like life preservers in a stormy sea.
Here is Timmy with his latest external hard drive, the one sending words to recite and questions to ask- in real time during City Council meetings. Is she just being helpful or is she Outofcontrol?
Like Velveeta Cheese Spread, Timmy's a processed creation marketed in a nice, shiny package- but would you serve him to guests with a bottle of wine?
Timmy the Cheese Spread was pitched as an 'Independent Voice'.
|Tastes like cheese- almost!|
Well folks, not only was he NEVER really 'independent' due to the outsourcing of his brain to handlers, but his VOICE comes to us via texters and other electronic gizmos.
And you can't say we weren't WARNED.
Because the roll-out of Timmy the Cheese Spread- his public debut- was at the City Council meeting of July 22, 2009. Does that date ring any bells?
This meeting was the DAY BEFORE Mayor Peter Cammarano's arrest for selling zoning variances at The Malibu Diner. Timmy came there to speak in FAVOR of Cammarano's control over zoning board appointments.
In fairness to Tim, someone wrote this for him. I'm not even sure he knew what he was reading, or knew what it meant, as he stumbled a bit over the big words and seemed to swallow others whole. In fact, this was the most difficult transcription GA's done so far because of Timmy's rapid delivery and swallowing of words- as though Occhipinti couldn't wait for his biscuit and pat on the head.
No he raced through the thing, reading off papers, not looking up.
Good boy, Tim! Here's your biscuit!
Now for The Dumb-inatrix Debut, his opening remarks of July 22, 2009:
Tim Occhipinti? Hoboken?GA would like to thank one of my fave guys, the talented Eric Kurta, for cutting the Timmy video.
Good evening, members of the Council?
I must admit that I was a bit taken back (aback) by the introduction of this ordinance 3 weeks ago at the first city council meeting.
I intended (attended) your inaw-gerration (inauguration) and listened to you speak about setting differences aside and moving this city forward in the right direction. Our governor, senator and others urge you to get Hoboken back on track by opening communication and working together with the mayor's administration. It seems these calls to unite the city have fallen on deaf ears shortly thereafter.
This ordinance IS nothing more than a political power grab aimed at the new administration.
And if you think that GA has exaggerated or been a 'mean bully-blogger' watch it for yourself- it's 2 minutes and 19 seconds of your life you'll never get back.
Send your thank-you's to: email@example.com
We were warned, people.