I thought I'd share 2 emails I found in my Inbox this morning from a GA reader.
Huh? "Itchy cooters"? I looked up 'cooter' in the Urban Dictionary... shame on you, reader!
NO, giggling GA reader. The actual quote is:
I mean, the borders are pretty porous between states- anyone can pass through without a passport, even a member of Al Qaeda, not that GA is encouraging that activity... and when you cross a state line there's no actual line on the ground like on the map. It's kinda hard to know who's from where anymore, unless people have a funny accent or wear one of these:
Do you wear one?
GA's from New York, but I don't. As for Ivy-League alum living in our state; does not attending one make one a dummy? Our state, New Jersey, is often used as a punchline... because we have too many dummy-led households? I'll bet that's it. Mine is. (Although Cooper Union is nothing to shake a stick at- brag brag)
Here's a list of Ivy League Colleges in the Northeast:
Did you go to one? Maybe you're not smart enough to head a household all by yourself. Or procreate. G-d forbid your offspring take after you. A non-Ivy Leaguer. A dummy. You need help.
Well, I certainly do. And I know where to get it!
Subject: I'm having fun with this
GA,
Kathy Zucker says, "Get on daycare waitlists as soon as I conceive."
Maybe she should write about fucking to get on the waitlist. Maybe that might have a shred of interesting content. The conception of Kathy Zucker's baby." I can see her headlines:
Kathy's Conception Blog
F*cking into Daycare
Ivy-League Native New Yorker babymaking tips - scheduling conception before September enrollment
-----------------------------------------
Subject: I can't stop giggling
GA,
I found an even narrower niche:
"Do I represent a narrow population niche? Absolutely. There are not many NYC-native Ivy-league educated households in New Jersey with itchy cooters."
-----------------------------------------
Huh? "Itchy cooters"? I looked up 'cooter' in the Urban Dictionary... shame on you, reader!
NO, giggling GA reader. The actual quote is:
"Do I represent a narrow population niche? Absolutely. There are not many NYC-native Ivy-league educated households in New Jersey."Which got me thinking: is that true?
I mean, the borders are pretty porous between states- anyone can pass through without a passport, even a member of Al Qaeda, not that GA is encouraging that activity... and when you cross a state line there's no actual line on the ground like on the map. It's kinda hard to know who's from where anymore, unless people have a funny accent or wear one of these:
Do you wear one?
GA's from New York, but I don't. As for Ivy-League alum living in our state; does not attending one make one a dummy? Our state, New Jersey, is often used as a punchline... because we have too many dummy-led households? I'll bet that's it. Mine is. (Although Cooper Union is nothing to shake a stick at- brag brag)
Here's a list of Ivy League Colleges in the Northeast:
Brown University
Columbia University
Cornell University
Dartmouth College
Harvard University
University of Pennsylvania
Princeton University
Yale University
Did you go to one? Maybe you're not smart enough to head a household all by yourself. Or procreate. G-d forbid your offspring take after you. A non-Ivy Leaguer. A dummy. You need help.
Well, I certainly do. And I know where to get it!
Gee, my wife is a NY native, albeit from Queens (*gasp!*). She got her Masters from Columbia. Does that count? I only went to state school for my b.a., but I can still ride her paycheck at least.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately we don't have 3 kids though, only 3 cats. But they can be a handful too! We have to book the catsitter a year in advance for major holidays.
So basically we're the same as mommy blogger. Pity us and our niche.
Hi Beta Dog,
ReplyDeleteLike your wife, I'm from Queens, too. It's not such a bad place. A little low-brow, you understand. Some riff-raff here and there. Not too many Ivy Leaguers. Illiterates? Some.
I envy you. I would LOVE to have 3 cats. But my kitty is a solo; loves people, hates her own kind.
Reading the mommy-blog is making me want to have a 3rd kid. But can I skip over having the 2nd one?
Kathy needs to visit Basking Ridge, Summit, Glen Ridge...
ReplyDeleteThere are thousands of Ivy grads in NJ
Rige High had like 15 kids go onto Ivy League schools last year.
I know she was talking transplants, but look at the per capita incomes of this city and the NJ suburbs, Kathy is sounding a bit full of herself (I like her) but many folks I know wouldn't think living in a condo in Hoboken with 3 kids being the height of success.
ReplyDeleteLook around and see all the million dollar brownstones, those people aren't Apex tech grads Kathy...
(nothing against Apex Tech;I went to Art School
The way she brags is a turn off. Some times I do the same, but I don't presume to right a column and the blog I do keep is well very personal. The few people that read it the better.
ReplyDeleteMany of my comments in on of her stories about the schools.
ReplyDeleteI had a major disagreement with her definition of being supportive. She said she was supportive of the schools, but if her kids didn't make it into the charters she would send them to private school.
I didn't even both saying anything about how she hired a handyman to help do some engry saving things around the house to save money. I shock my head and said to myself, we made those changes, we did it ourselves, so I guess we are better at saving money.
That is not supportive by my reckoning.
taith, I find her column fascinating.
ReplyDeleteAs do others apparently, because folks email me her stuff all the time (mainly twitters) with their editorial comments.
I do hope she keeps it going, which I guess means banging out a new kid every couple of years. Why not? Remember the King Family? The Osmonds? What about the Duggars?
A 4-bedroom condo can fit a LOT of kids. I'm thinking 9- max.
My brother who has run several brand name companies went to Brown and has a Harvard MBA. Me, I went to Rutgers. My parents were from Brooklyn.
ReplyDeleteI have an Ivy League grad degree. Yay me. OMG everyone bow before my greatness. Or not. Are you kidding me? Kathy is insipid. I've read her columns enough to know that I won't read any more. She could be the most vapid Ivy league grad in Hoboken. Quite an accomplishment considering I know several of her competitors.
ReplyDeleteI bet her degree is in something really awesome, like basket weaving.
I confess to having a generally skeptical attitude toward self-help writing/advice columns of any sort to begin with. I mean, let's face it, it is a genre dominated by purveyors of basic common sense cleverly packaged and marketed to exploit people's insecurities, anxieties and general sense of inadequacy. Columns like this one in particular also serve a "comparing notes" type of purpose for communities of people purportedly undergoing some sort of similar, complicated experience, but still, most people are intelligent enough to figure this stuff out for themselves, there just happens to be a market for validating people's own instincts and claiming credit for the idea so people have less faith in their own wisdom and more inclination to buy yours.
ReplyDeleteStill, I have to say, having read enough of a sampling of actual self-help and advice writing and a general sampling of Kathy Zucker's Patch columns and a few of her blog posts, there is a sharp contrast between what she does and what is supposed to be the fundamental point of having such a column in the first place. Most advice writing is designed to at least give the reader some sense of solace in the end, some notion that the problem is solvable through a series of good decision-making and follow-through, through being more responsible or proactive over some aspect of their life they'd neglected, somehow. Sure, you can't wave a magic wand and unveil the yellow brick road, and you want to leave the reader hungry for more of your brilliant advice, but each installment should deliver at least some tangible take-away with which the reader can say, "If I do this, or think about this in a new way, I can make a better choice." The concept, in short, is to make the reader identify with you, and to impart something from your life that can help them overcome a dilemma you faced successfully.
Kathy Zucker offers none of this. Kathy's columns appear specifically designed to make people not identify with her, and to conclude that their problems are insurmountable because they' simply don't have the pedigree, education, wealth, network, reputation and overall greatness that she does. It's writing designed to make you feel bad, not good, to make you feel alienated and inadequate, not identified with and supported. Virtually everything I've read of hers has followed the same pattern -- "Here is a problem many moms run into. I know this, because I, too, am a mom. But that is the beginning and the end of what you, the mere mortal reader, and I, the sun-kissed imparter of wisdom from the ivory tower, have in common, so I can't really help you because you simply don't have the means or wherewithal to resolve this issue as magnificently as I did." It all unfailingly contains not-too-subtle brags and boasts clumsily woven into the "advice" so that the only real take-away is a shameless advertisement for Kathy's superiority complex. I have yet to read anything of hers that contains any discernible advice or perspective and doesn't consist predominantly of self-absorbed, vapid and opaque descriptions of her own life and then some backhanded assertion that you can't be like her anyway because, well, you just can't. It's true that people can simply choose to read this or not, and there's not much point in us all continuing to pile on, but at the same time, it's a bit shocking to see an adult mother and purported professional behave in a way that seems so petty, immature and slightly mean-spirited.
My goodness, Polly. So well-said.
ReplyDeleteLast night when I prayed to God, I asked him "please Lord, in my next life make me an Ivy League Grad from NYC (Bay Ridge) with a condo on Harrison St in Hoboken and name me Kathy....
ReplyDeleteHe has yet to reply