Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Hooked on Phonics
Alight people, you've left me no choice but to play Henry Higgins to your Eliza Doolittle. (Didn't you just love Audrey Hepburn in 'My Fair Lady'? Rex Harrison wasn't too shabby either.)
Today's lesson is the proper pronunciation of the word 'uvula'.
Why is this even necessary? Can't we talk about other things?
Like how Terry Castellano lies like a rug on the campaign trail? Or how Beth Mason's campaign headquarters is Blogger-Central for her piss-boys spraying all over nj.com. Or how Mike Russo hasn't explained lying about the tape up until it's release and has never apologized to the authors whom he called 'liars'? Or how Nino Giacchi claims to the 'Voice of Reason' but hasn't used that voice on the City Council dias- voting for the resolution which taints his colleagues, inferring THEY met with Dwek too? Or how Timmy Occhipinti explains 550 paid-workers on Nov. 2nd, 80% of whom voted by VBM?
Those are important things. But instead, I'm giving you a phonics lesson.
Because Deep Uvula is a breakaway hit on GA, and wherever I go these days, somebody asks me about him/her/it. But none of you people say it correctly. None of you.
I can only imagine all of your other body parts you're incapable of pronouncing. Can you pronounce 'aorta'? 'Epiglotis'? 'Pancreas'? Had I known how the uvula would be so mangled on your tongues, GA would have named him/her/it Deep Esophagus, or Deep Tonsil. That you could handle.
But it's too late. My informant has already been branded as a little, pink, dangly sac of flesh. And you know the power of branding.
So pay attention.
It's NOT pronounced 'ooooooooo-vuh-luh'. No, no, no.
It's like this:
YOOOOO-vyuh-luh. Now, go apologize to your own little pink dangly sac for not even knowing it's name.
Back to business. So what do you think of Terry Castellano spreading lies on the campaign trail? This is the whopper she's spreading: that Marsh and Bhalla met with Dwek. No, no, no. Only her cousin Mike '5k' Russo and Beth '13.4K' Mason did.
Watch out, Terry. Look what happened to this guy: