Snow Politics

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Introducing the latest talking point fresh from the labs at Nitwits, Inc.... and we know the political ops strained mighty hard to pinch this loaf. Poor Mike Novak may have popped a hemmorhoid when squeezing out one of these overheated tweets.

You see, it goes like this: there was blizzard last night. That means it snowed. A lot. There's snow everywhere.

Wow.

My friend, InfotainMe, pointed out that when previous mayors were in charge the snow fell into neat little piles on Hoboken's street corners and major intersections.

But not with our mayor. No, this Dawn Zimmer can't do anything right. She let the snow fall everywhere. She allowed the wind to blow- mighty gusts of it. She kept the temperature low so the damned stuff wouldn't melt. What will she do next? I'll bet she's dispatched an army of pooches to piss everywhere.

That's right: yellow snow brought to you by the Ice Goddess of City Hall.

We never had yellow snow under Mayor Russo!

I think I hear that pissing sound now... oh, wait. That's just the hiss of Zimmer's wind. The one she sent over to blow the powdery snow. Onto the sidewalk I just shoveled.

That frigging bitch!

I've changed my mind.

Those ops are right. Maybe Zimmer not only has her hands on the levers of power at City Hall, but her hands on the levers of a weather machine. That makes wind. And snow.

Wait...

Here it is, Zimmer's Weather Machine:


No wonder they call her the Ice Goddess.

Here's what she claims to have been doing while blowing snow at us from her Sno-Kones Weather Machine:

Six plows have been out continuously cleaning Hoboken’s streets since Sunday afternoon. The City has brought in a private contractor to help, and nine plows are currently on the road, with more on the way.

Despite the plowing, drifting snow due to strong winds has re-covered streets and made them treacherous to drive on. A state of emergency remains in effect, and residents are strongly urged to stay home and not drive. Only vehicles with chains or snow tires should be on the roads.


Yeah, right.

The minute one of those 9 plows clears a path on the road, along comes that crazy mayor and her ungodly Sno-Kones gizmo... and in one windy blast the snow's back all over the street again!

It's happening all over Hoboken. And We the People are NOT happy.

Somebody, take away Mayor Zimmer's Sno-Kones Weather machine!

You, Beth Mason!

Only YOU can save Hoboken from that crazy, snow-blowing menace in a skirt... You MUST take control of our city. You and your easel-toting, furious leprechaun.

Please save our city.

NOW.


Hey Mayor, didn't I ask for grape?

Comments

  1. I'd love to know what they'd have the Mayor do- have a legion of snow plows, removers and operators on standby through the winter months at untold expense? Can you imagine the belly aching about that?

    This wasn't just a heavy snowfall it was as you pointed out a blizzard- a rare event here. The entire tri-state is having a tough time getting on top of the blizzard aftermath not just Hoboken. I can't help but be reminded of the Mason411 blame game following every heavy rain and so it continues.

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  2. Correction - dogs did used to urinate in the snow under previous mayors - but it turned the snow into a perfectly poured Guinness. And the streets were wide boulevards, so it was easy to manage the parked cars and snow removal. This is a picture of 8th Street between Garden & Park right before Zimmer became mayor.

    Also, new houses were $9 and watching football while having nachos and beer caused dramatic weight loss.

    That's how I remember it.

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  3. Was no one else living in Hoboken in the late 1990s when the town was shut down for three days - no one but residents allowed in with check points - because the snow could not get removed form the streets - I recall the mayor blamed it on the narrow width of the streets and the faiulure of anyone to move their cars. Was actually a bizarre and funny experience.

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  4. KHoboken if we had print journalists - which we don't - they could easily search their print and photographic archives and debunk the emerging narrative which bears a striking resemblance to "whatever else he did, Mussolini made the trains run on time."

    But to get back to my first point, we don't have print journalists.

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