Victim of Political PanderingHOBOKEN, NJ- Due to a botanical mix-up, The Hoboken Department of Health and Human Services (HSS) has issued a recall of potted plants given by two local politicians to their constituents.
The mix-up lies with the similarity in appearance of leaves of the Euphorbia pulcherrima (Poinsettia) and those of Toxicodendron vernix (Poison Sumac).
It appears that dozens of these poinsettia-look alike Sumac plants ordered for Mayor Dawn Zimmer, City Council minority members and several local bloggers were delivered instead to various retail locations in the 2nd and 3rd Wards to be given as gifts to constituents.
The cause for the mix-up is unknown, but retailers are advised to stop dispensing all toxic political gifts immediately.
The deceptively festive plants, decoratively wrapped with clear cellophane, offer victims a "Happy Holidays" and look like this:
If you think you have received one of these political bio-hazards, the HHS asks that you exercise extreme caution in handling it and to wear rubber gloves at all times.
In case of contact, wash affected area immediately with soap and hot water and do not touch your eyes or house pets. Victims of politicians bearing gifts should call the American Association of Poison Control Centers' toll free number, 1-800-222-1222 immediately.
The HSS requests that politicians refrain from giving constituents live or edible gifts. Instead they suggest donating to organizations which serve the entire community and work for the public good like The Jubilee Center or The Boys and Girls Club. The HHS believes such selfless and generous giving will not be interpreted as buying votes or cause rashes and infection.
In the meantime, dozens of potted poinsettia plants intended for 2nd and 3rd Ward constituents are now festooning City Hall, the homes of Carol Marsh, Ravi Bhalla, Dave Mello, Peter Cunningham and several bloggers.
The politicians behind the purchase of the potted plants, toxic and benign, declined comment for this story.
(Updated, 12/22/10 9:20 am)
hbknprincess, this should tell you everything you need to know: I went to the doctor recently for a physical.
Here's my chest x-ray:
I got one of those from my councilman. There was a little mushroom-sized piece of plastic with a wire in the bottom. A note next to it said, "This is not a listening device". Phew.
ReplyDeleteThe instructions say the plant will do best near the phone, so that's where I'm keeping it. Thanks Mike!
I heard the emergency room at HUMC was overwhelmed with victims of toxic plant-pandering. What a shame.
ReplyDeleteI agree w/the HSS. It's much safer for politicians to donate to the needy at holiday time than gift constituents with potted plants which MAY cause rashes, oozing sores, and the appearance of vote-buying.
Hey! Now I'm getting the holiday spirit. These might be some better options: How about having coats for the homeless made up with large type
ReplyDelete"Compliments of (fill in campaign info here)"
silk screened on the front and back? Or distribute fortune cookies at the homeless shelter with the same information inside in lieu of a fortune? Perhaps specially imprinted peppermint patties? Or donate placemats to the shelter with campaign talking points on them? Or for New Year's Eve have some noisemakers made up with the candidate's name and "Free Noise-On-the-Ballot Voting Guidance" embossed on the side?
Fantastic suggestions, plywood! Really.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever thought of running for anything?
as much as I love you hun this is a very misguided witch-hunt one civic association after another has been passing out pointsettas.... way before i was even born... this is a very extremely sad attempt at controversy... I expect better
ReplyDeleteoh my friend, hbknprincess. I regret any offense to you, dear. I do have to correct you: it was an extremely sad attempt at humor. And I respect you as a gal who speaks your mind.
ReplyDeleteSee, there's a reason my avatar shows me burning in Hell.
Now, this was NOT intended as a swipe at any local institutions like the Civic Association, or a cherished tradition. It was a swipe at politicians bearing gifts- ANYTIME of the year. I'll make fun of any elected official who tries to give me something- whichever 'side' they're on. I can't help myself, princess. See avatar.
And it's just as funny (to me) when a politician sends a card... I got a birthday card this year from Union City mayor Brian Stack! (It was a few months late, too). I wrote a whole blog post about that... perhaps that's a Union City tradition, but to me- comedy gold. Some may have been offended, thought I was something that rhymes with 'witch'. But... see avatar.
I know we won't see eye-to-eye on this one, but please know I respect and adore you. And you can tell me off anytime. I will try to do better.
Your friend,
GA
I really love your avatar my love.... I just think the whole thing is silly, I don't see the controversy over giving a present to a neighbore... Tis the season and all that jazz.... BTW I think the birthday cards are pretty hilarious
ReplyDeleteHi Princess. I agree with you more than I disagree. If we ever (ever) get rid of these characters, they will replaced by new characters. And the latter will curry favor in their wards however they do it.
ReplyDelete2 other observations.
The unholy 550 has really made it harder than ever to stomach certain representatives of 'the old guard' and those of the new old guard. This has happened, after all, only months after the last mayor went to prison for corruption. So while I wish people would tone down the rhetoric and hyperbole, I won't be completely shocked if they don't for the time being.
I personally think we all need to recognize that we are coming to the end of a dirty little war and will have to live with each other when it's over and may as well start now. But I only form a majority in my own mind.
2nd observation. Blogs are like cable news. They need a news cycle and generate one when news is slow. GA makes them funnier. Treating these bits of information like actual news is a stretch. But I don't think there was a reach for controversy.
And I still have my Mike Russo refrigerator magnet with all the emergency numbers on it. I wouldn't mind getting one with a different picture, but the emergency info should still be there.
Info, I have to disagree with you on one point: if "blogs are like cable news" then where's my plastic hair and inch-thick pancake make-up?
ReplyDeleteThat stuff is on order. Make sure you re-do the avatar when it arrives.
ReplyDeleteGA,you are far from a grinch, you respect other's opinions and that is what counts. One thing is for sure, you need to have bulletproof skin for this whole blogging thing sheesh. Some people are brutal!
ReplyDeleteBoy-o-boy you guys have been busy. But you have given me a few ideas since my last post.
ReplyDelete> Based on GA's suggestion I think I will run for "character"
> I'm Wiki-leaking this poinsettia story to that cable great Rachel Maddow (who it seems better watch her back). That goofy sidekick Kent Jones could probably get some mileage out of it.
> I think I will watch "The Grinch That Stole Christmas" and "Magoo's Christmas Carol" tonight
> no, I'm not slipping, but unfortunately, I have just turned over a new leaf and will not take the bait on any "Mike Russo and the refrigerator" jokes