Kudos to Alan Skontra of Patch.com, who channeled the great doyenne of gossip reportage, Suzy Knickerbocker, for a delicious write-up of a recent high-society event at the W Hotel.Pssst.... Alan, GA is not mocking you. (Creepy, how I talk about myself in the third person)
No, I thought your column was a hoot. With tongue planted firmly-in-cheek, you deftly slipped the shiv in and out before your victims blinked. Nice work.
The big event was an office Christmas party held in the "swank" Chandelier Room at the W Hotel. (I love the word 'swank' though it sounds like 'wank'-- a word one British friend of mine constantly used, and well... if anyone ever calls you a 'wanker' it's not a compliment)
But it wasn't any old office party, it was Michael Novak's office party.
Here's what Skontra says about Novak:
If we recast Ocean's Eleven with Hobokenites, Novak would be Danny Ocean pulling the heist together.
Danny Ocean?
The ex-con thief who coordinated a gang of crooks to rip off a casino for $160 million dollars?
Well, we know a couple of Novak's guests are on the Who's Who of 4th Ward Election Fraud and have their attorney's telephone numbers on speed dial and that NJ Attorney General Paula Dow may soon be picking them up in a paddy wagon. And GA can tell you that Novak participated in Mason's Washington PAC (NJDC) smear job... but... is any of that illegal?
No.
It demonstrates lack of character and moral depravity, but is not illegal. So perhaps the Danny Ocean comparison was a bit... oh, nevermind.
Funny stuff, Alan!
Next is a poke Skontra took at someone we've all come to know as the Weasel with the Easel:
Out of breath and upset we didn't think to check for an elevator, we cut through a curtain and were immediately greeted by the always impeccably dressed Lane Bajardi. Barjardi promptly presented us an enlarged, foam-core mounted and laminated blueprint of the Chandelier Room resting along the ledge of his trusty easel.
For Bajardi's sake, I hope Santa brings him a pointer for Christmas. Or an overhead projector so he can ditch the easel, because saying 'Weasel with the Overhead Projector' just isn't funny.
You know when reporters start making fun of you it's time for re-branding.
Well, I just liked the whole piece; I felt Skontra slyly winking as he gushed over friends-of-the-soon-to-be-indicted and the soon-to-be-indicted and the possibly-soon-to-be-indicted and wish-they-were-indicted... with some REAL decent people thrown in to sweeten the foul brew (the wonderful Geri Fallo comes to mind).
Yes, out of 200+ invited, surely most are good and decent folk. But why write about them?
Here's what Patch reader Bet Mazin had to say :
Do check out Alan's piece.
Ga
ReplyDeleteHis article needs to be read slowly so that you don;t miss the hidden gems. I admit that, intially, I flew through it and did not "get" it. Very funny skewering of the "insiders" swank view of themselves.
Yes, I confess to being irritated at first reading. But, well... I said it above.
ReplyDeleteBoy, I haven't thought about Suzy Knickerbocker in years. We got the New York Daily Mirror when I was a kid and her gossip column was one of my favorite things to read besides the Funnies. Alan could do worse than emulate Suzy's rapier wit.
ReplyDeleteFrom the cast of characters at Mike Novak's party, you'd thing it took place in a Speak Easy...one person of ill repute after another! I see that Bet Mazin appeared as her usual self...the Goddess of Sartorial Splendor. And little Lame had his trusty easel with him so as not to disappoint! Looks like the Chandelier Room of the W Hoboken may be the new Stork Club! And Alan may be the new Walter Winchell! (Much nicer, no doubt!)
Skronta's piece brightened up my Monday. It reduced me to tears of laughter more than once. I usually rely on you GA for those ROTFLMAO moments. If Skronta starts adding photo shop images you may have competition! I've had to restrain myself from over commenting on the piece- so much ammunition.
ReplyDelete