So yesterday at around 9:30 am I get this email from a friend:
Jihad Al called you silly.
That's 2 weeks in a row Al Sullivan gave Grafix Avenger a shout-out in his weekly column-- the one in the Hoboken Reporter, ummmmm... whatever-it's-called.
In fact, he didn't print this blog's name or mine, but we all know who he meant when he wrote about "the more scurrilous Lenz-supporting bloggers" in his Sept. 19 column. Now Al, why did you lump other scurrilous bloggers in with scurrilous-me? Scurrilously speaking.
(I love the word 'scurrilous'. And Al's a great writer with a vast and scurrilous vocabulary.)
Though Al did once write about GA; a complimentary piece all about my viciousness to the endearing and not-nearly-as-vicious Zimmerphobe, Hudson Shark , whose defamation of yours truly has sat since April 2010 on his crappy blog that no one reads.
Don't worry about me, Al... I'll be OK!
So, what did Al have to say in this week's column?
"...the real story involves a poorly designed and confusing telephone poll that asked a number of ridiculous questions from the popularity of a silly Zimmer-supporting blogger to how Zimmer and others would fair in a head-to-head election with state Senator and Union City Mayor Brian Stack."
Silly blogger + Zimmer... remember that, folks!
Well, I'm not upset, nor am I offended because I've figured out Sullivan's obsession: he's mad about me. No, not mad at me... he's infatuated. With me. He may even love me with all his heart.
Every time Al slams GA in his column it's the proverbial gum-in-the-hair of the school-boy's crush. Yes, Al's been shooting metaphorical spit balls at GA; each printed pejorative is a juicy, little rolled up ball of paper shot through a straw at the object of his affection.
Me.
Well, I have a secret. Don't tell anyone. The feeling is mutual.
In fact, at the top of the page is the future autographed poster that Al is going to send me some day, and that's my (future) lipstick on his oh, so handsome cheek!
Al, you are a handsome devil. And definitely not silly.
XO,
GA
(Update: Sept 29., 2010, 10:20 am)
Oh, I'm blushing like a school girl... guess who stopped by to see me here at GA?
My not-so-secret-admirer, Al Sullivan!
See, he just can't stay away. From me. First, Al dropped by yesterday, posting this on an old thread, probably a misfire:
Isn't he adorable?
Well, he came back today to post on this thread, much to my delight... *sigh*...
I told you all of that innuendo-stuff was just bluster, a mask for his uncontrollable desire. For me.
Can you blame him? 'Silly' is the new sexy.
And I confessed to passion for him in equal measure.
So here you go Al, baby. Another one. For you. From me.
You handsome devil.
I bet it took Al 4 tries to switch to 'silly' blogger, working his way through 'spellbinding', 'rapturous', 'captivating', 'irresistible' blogger. Then angrily threw out the previous drafts switching to 'silly'.
ReplyDeleteSilly is a male code word if ever there was one. All men know it. It's the word for 'I wish I didn't feel this way'.
His resolve is crumbling. Won't be long now. Look at the picture again. Look at those bedroom eyes. He's on some panel discussion and barely keeping it together thinking about you. I give him 3 weeks tops.
If I get a kiss every time I call you silly, I might even mention you by name.
ReplyDeleteAl, you are a handsome devil. Irresistible, in fact.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by.
See, I'm really not so bad, although you are right-- I am silly. Can't help it, it's in the genes. I come from a silly family. As far as I know most of my ancestors were silly people... from a silly place, Poland. Can you think of a sillier country? Well, except for maybe Latvia. Where the hell is it anyway?
Yes, born silly and I'll probably die that way. In fact, would you write my epitaph? Something like: 'Here Lies a Silly Woman'. But you are a much better writer than I, so please do me the honor.
Al, you are a charmer. Indeed. I might even add another kiss.
enough!
ReplyDeleteI surrender.
You are truly a good sport, Al.
ReplyDeleteOK, no more... I'll have to admire you from afar.
*sigh*
Al it's great for you to drop and say hello and collect on all this unrequited love. Many a high school teen can learn from these shared missives.
ReplyDeleteOutside of the love, Da Horsey really believes you can learn a lot by listening to the Hoboken voices, some would say the Hoboken's majority voices - you know, the ones that have won a string of recent elections.
Regardless of the results in November, you really should try to take these Hoboken voices to heart. (Not that paid to hate fish in Weehawken.)
Dip a toe in, the water's fine. And we promise no sharks.
Wow, we had a relationship, broke up and haven't even met yet.
ReplyDeleteAll I did was do what you said, I looked more closely at your stuff.
I'm a huge fan of classic satire -- it is what you are doing, and it is very effective at annoying your opponents. That's the point of satire to drive your enemies crazy.
At some point, I'll buy you lunch and we can talk more about satire.
GA
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean I will have to find a new weekly substitute for finding Nina now that finding GA appears to be over?
GA
ReplyDelete"it is very effective at annoying your opponents."
YOU ROCK! Now, just don't go and get all Lame and over the top annyoing on us and start to smack cameras, file false police complaints, ad nauseum. This kind of annoying is a good thing. :)
Aaaaw Al, you name it... just tell me what color suit you're going to wear so I can coordinate my lipstick.
ReplyDeleteAnd really... thank you dear Al, for taking a closer look. I mean it.
Ironically, it's those 'annoyed opponents' you mention who put GA on the map; without such furious individuals protesting around town, the CC , the BoE, complaining to folks like you, it would still be my mother and a handful of sympathetic friends coming here.
So dear Al, you handsome devil. Do come again!
Agreed.
ReplyDeleteIf what you're doing didn't get under their skin, they wouldn't complain.
Part of it, however, is the way you do it.
Which is why I'm trying NOT to be on the receiving end of it.
As clever as some of your pieces are, they do sting -- although I should be grateful for a kiss rather than a smack in the side of head or have my photos floating in some strange liquid.
But like any art form, your work requires a bit of getting used to for me to appreciate it.
Thanks again, Al.
ReplyDeleteWell, I shall explain to you sometime the sad saga of the unwelcome punchbowl ingredient. In short, it was created to disgust and repulse within the context of the piece it illustrated. When pulled out of context by said 'opponents', I became disgusting and repulsive-- quite intentional on the part of those targeting me because ... because...hey, you're Al Sullivan! You know why! No need to explain to you.
Yes indeed, the image did not work at all on the pages of H411 or at the City Council. It was a visual metaphor in context and a deliberately disgusting one.
Ah well, those were the bad old days. I was a bit naive about the extent to which some people would go to embarrass or discredit me.
I don't censor myself now, just try to be a bit wiser. And not so mean... is it working? No? Ah well. I'll get my just desserts in the Afterlife, as we all should expect. See my avatar?
Hey, how about YOU write something nice about ME for a change in your column? I put on a brave face, but you broke my heart, Al.
Al
ReplyDeleteYou owe something to GA. From your comments, it it seems clear that you smashed her without having first visited the site and examined for yourself the satirical nature, yes stingy, of the site. That causes me and many others around town to not put much faith in what you write. I woudl have been fine with a comment about GA as exhibiting biting satire, that at times pushes the envelope, but your remarks about her were not so nice. GA, do you disagree?
Dear Khoboken (Tony)
ReplyDeleteI did visit her site several times prior to my latest visits.
But Tony, you don't have much faith in what I write anyway. I never said I was God, only a humble writer trying to make sense of the most confusing place on the planet -- Hoboken, New Jersey.
Satire -- even for someone who admires it as much as I do -- is not an easy thing to understand or appreciate. It took me a whole year to get Juvenal.
But if I owe GA, it is between us to make amends.
*sigh*
ReplyDeletek, you ambiguous blog-muffin,
I'm a water-under-the-bridge kinda gal, a where-we-are not where-we've-been sort, a why look back when we should be looking ahead person... should I keep going? I can think of more. How about if you love something set it free...oh, wrong application.
I'm throwing out that book of Hallmark quotes.
Al, let's discuss.
any time.
ReplyDeleteAlrighty, then. To be continued...
ReplyDeleteHey K
ReplyDeleteOh my.
You might also want to get zapped with the memory loss gun from "Men in Black".
Al was doing pretty well up 'til then too.
Al, thanks for coming over. If it's any consolation we throw monkey-doo at everyone. We're monkeys - that's what we do. Or doo. Not sure. Take care in any case.
ReplyDeletePly
ReplyDeleteAs always, your wit makes me smile. Some day I will explain the origin (to me) for asshat - and its kin, salmon ass, rooted in memories of childhood and a crotchety uncle that was a sea captain. I realize that without the benefit of such fond memories that the word is pretty perturbing and have since ceased its use in on line company. It was tempting today, but I refrained. You have made me a better person. :)
Mr Sullivan.
ReplyDeleteIt's an honor to at last find a fellow journalist and seeker after the truth amid all the bloggery.
I would value your opinion when you have a spare moment.
Do you think the Reached For Comment News Service better served by the slogan:
Covering Hoboken like a dense fog
or....
News made fresh while you wait.
Both bear our trademark inadvertent candor.
Griswell, may I interject?
ReplyDeleteI rather like "news made fresh while you wait", but of course defer to Al's judgment.
sorry K.
ReplyDeleteTony called me up to rant at me about it. I always thought Tony deliberately attacked himself on the blogs just to throw people off. I'm wrong. If you need more mouthwash, let me know.
Hoboken is hard because there are so many factions. You know what they say about the fog of war.
Actually G, we're alot like shoe repair, trying to patch together something from a lot of worn out parts. Or is that Nip Tuck?
As for discussing matters, G, where should we start?
@Al
ReplyDeleteForensic stylistics is a slippery slope in the first place but layering on the complexities of our esteemed committee person enters the realm of doctoral thesis. Wear protective gear and do not attempt this at home!
@K
Boy howdy, the power to change people! I will take that as a great compliment. Maybe I should be cranking out more backwater "manifestos"! lol
Honestly I had no idea of your ties to "asshat". No offense. You are a vanguard in style and content as I have heard it many times "on the blogs".
While everything is still warm and fuzzy, let me compliment you on your "selling a car = sale of the municipal garage" analogy- it is genius. I learned a lot from it.
Catch you around the cyber-hood.
GA
Sorry to be an unexpected, interloping table-guest at the candlelit love extravaganza, but you know little ol' uncouth me. Can't take me anywhere.
With that said, I'll cue up the "The Dating Game" out-tro, then blow a kiss to the audience, and I am out. Kumbaya!
GA
ReplyDeleteHaving a morning cup of Joe and feeling all Kumbaya as a result of Ply today. Thought about my post regarding Al's misidentification of me and in my new spirit of being nice, please remove the post. The reaction was genuine, the words just a tad too harsh for your site. Now off to make some muffins.
Al
ReplyDeleteMy condolences. Issue over. I see Hoboken as many cliques, not so much facitons. I do see a real divide into two parts - those that want to keep the gravy train rolling and have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo - no reval, etc. and those that want better cheaper more efficient government. Given the non-partisan elections in Hoboken, the nouveau R's in town (growing in number) actually are on eh side of many traditional Ds that support the Mayor. Interesting coalition. Now, if Hoboken ever right sizes its government, then all hell will likely break loose between the Ds and the Rs, with the GT (gravy Trainers) a diminishing minority. Cant wait to see those Church and CLock Towers PILOTS be eviscerated. The rats will be jumping from those ships in droves.
Thanks, k.
ReplyDeleteI sent your post off to the Land of Deletion & Eternal Moderation; a lone GA straggler amongst a multitude from H411.
Al,
Not sure if that 'G' was supposed to be 'GA', or you were addressing Griswell re: discussing matters. I emailed you last night so maybe your answer lies therein.
Ply
ReplyDeleteIn honor of the kind words in your post and feeling all Kumbaya this morning, I asked GA to take down my honest but snarky reaction to being misidentified as someone else by Al S. Glad you enjoyed the car story. My fist boss always drilled in my head - follow the money - the rest is just details. Has proven to be great advice and training.
Sorry, about that GA, that was to you.
ReplyDeleteAs for Khoboken, I won't make that mistake again. I don't want any more snarky reactions.
GA's kisses are quite enough
Khoboken- I can vouch that you are not who Al said you were. No sewers for you.
ReplyDeleteRG
ReplyDeleteLOL, that is not what my erroneously identified alter ego would say on the matter. It is more likely that I would be shackled and banished by the King of Sewers to a dungeon deep within the recesses of the new pumping station.
Al
ReplyDeleteBe nice to GA and you are removed from the snark list. But.......
that's a big but, K
ReplyDeleteSully
ReplyDeleteLOL. So you do have a sense of humor. Don't worry, so long as GA tells me to lay off, you are off limits and fine, here and anywhere. She has taken too many unjustified personal attacks from the paid spin meisters, especially Fin Boy, so I get a tad protective when I think anyone is flogging her unjustifiably.
K
ReplyDeleteI promised to leave off her. Besides, I think I've more than met my match.