What does a campaign do when it's flush with cash early in the political season?
A campaign for 4th Ward City Council race, for example.
Does it save, save, save for the coming avalanche of expenses: print advertising, print media, tv ads, videography, photography, internet costs? Frou-frou like campaign buttons, banners, stickers and t-shirts? Or fundraisers and events? Campaign staff? Paid 'volunteers'?
What would you do if you were a campaign more engorged with cash than a drunk tick?
Here's what 4th Ward Candidate Timmy Occhipinti does with his swollen campaign coffers...
He decorates!
Take a look at what's happening at Timmy's brand-new campaign headquarters!
Look, the painter's arrived on time!
Oh my goodness, those guys look like pros that do a quality job... in fact, it even says so on their truck : Quality Pro Painters.
Wow.
I'll bet those guys do a much better job than those friends you solicited to paint your house with an offer of beer and pizza. Did you like how those drunks dripped paint all over your wood floors and furniture? And your cat?
That'll teach you, cheapskate. Buy a quality, pro job next time.
Let's look inside.
I can't see... get closer.
Pretty!
Awfully pretty.
I love that color, it reminds me of a sunflower! Or a field of buttercups! Or the gown on a Disney princess!
Yellow is a wonderful choice, the color of my own kitchen. In fact, I will pay homage to Timmy's yellow by changing the color of the text to follow.
Those guys are good. I mean it. I'd hire them in a heartbeat.
See how they taped around the window opening and masked the glass window pane with plywood (the board, not the blogger). That's a trick you have to teach your drunken friends next time.
I am really impressed.
Timmy is going to have the prettiest, yellowest campaign headquarters around. He sure spares no expense on the aesthetics of campaignery. Imagine, having enough cash-on hand so early to afford renting a nice space and to decorate it beautifully, AND to harvest 622 absentee ballots!
My mother always told me "money doesn't grow on trees". You were wrong, Mom!
Timmy's got a forest of them.
Now, take a look at that his opponent, Mike Lenz. He can't even afford to eat.
Think I'm kidding?
Have you seen him lately? Skinny. Pale. Shaky. He's wasting away to nothing. The guy can't even afford a ham sandwich, much less a nice campaign headquarters, buckets of yellow paint and a quality, pro painter.
No. Buckets of cash, he ain't got.
Buckets of absentee ballots he ain't got.
He can't even afford beer and pizza to bribe his friends to paint the office he ain't got.
Timmy, please. Take a few bucks from the trough and buy Lenz a sandwich.
(Update, 5:22 pm)
I'd never heard of this Coldplay ode to the color yellow before-- actually it's a love song from lead singer Chris Martain to his wife, Gwenyth what's-'er-name called "Yellow"-- but InfotainMe did.
So thanks to Info for sending the song; it's lovely.
Timmy: close your eyes, tilt your head back and be enveloped by the sound of yellow.
A campaign for 4th Ward City Council race, for example.
Does it save, save, save for the coming avalanche of expenses: print advertising, print media, tv ads, videography, photography, internet costs? Frou-frou like campaign buttons, banners, stickers and t-shirts? Or fundraisers and events? Campaign staff? Paid 'volunteers'?
What would you do if you were a campaign more engorged with cash than a drunk tick?
Here's what 4th Ward Candidate Timmy Occhipinti does with his swollen campaign coffers...
He decorates!
Take a look at what's happening at Timmy's brand-new campaign headquarters!
Look, the painter's arrived on time!
Oh my goodness, those guys look like pros that do a quality job... in fact, it even says so on their truck : Quality Pro Painters.
Wow.
I'll bet those guys do a much better job than those friends you solicited to paint your house with an offer of beer and pizza. Did you like how those drunks dripped paint all over your wood floors and furniture? And your cat?
That'll teach you, cheapskate. Buy a quality, pro job next time.
Let's look inside.
I can't see... get closer.
Pretty!Awfully pretty.
I love that color, it reminds me of a sunflower! Or a field of buttercups! Or the gown on a Disney princess!
Yellow is a wonderful choice, the color of my own kitchen. In fact, I will pay homage to Timmy's yellow by changing the color of the text to follow.
Those guys are good. I mean it. I'd hire them in a heartbeat.See how they taped around the window opening and masked the glass window pane with plywood (the board, not the blogger). That's a trick you have to teach your drunken friends next time.
I am really impressed.
Timmy is going to have the prettiest, yellowest campaign headquarters around. He sure spares no expense on the aesthetics of campaignery. Imagine, having enough cash-on hand so early to afford renting a nice space and to decorate it beautifully, AND to harvest 622 absentee ballots!
My mother always told me "money doesn't grow on trees". You were wrong, Mom!
Timmy's got a forest of them.
Now, take a look at that his opponent, Mike Lenz. He can't even afford to eat.
Think I'm kidding?
Have you seen him lately? Skinny. Pale. Shaky. He's wasting away to nothing. The guy can't even afford a ham sandwich, much less a nice campaign headquarters, buckets of yellow paint and a quality, pro painter.
No. Buckets of cash, he ain't got.
Buckets of absentee ballots he ain't got.
He can't even afford beer and pizza to bribe his friends to paint the office he ain't got.
Timmy, please. Take a few bucks from the trough and buy Lenz a sandwich.
(Update, 5:22 pm)
I'd never heard of this Coldplay ode to the color yellow before-- actually it's a love song from lead singer Chris Martain to his wife, Gwenyth what's-'er-name called "Yellow"-- but InfotainMe did.
So thanks to Info for sending the song; it's lovely.
Timmy: close your eyes, tilt your head back and be enveloped by the sound of yellow.
Quality Pro Painters is owned by former Zoning Board member Jose Ponjoan. He was a supporter of Campos and Cammarano and a member of Hoboken First back in 2003, along with a few other notables:
ReplyDeleteMichael Schaffer, President
John Corea, Vice President
Vincent Addeo, Vice President
Dominic Lisa, Vice President
John Madigan, Vice President
Jose Ponjoan, Vice President
Frank Cutruzulla, Treasurer
Linda Corea, Secretary
We should, however, entertain the possibility that the owner is simply preparing the place for viewing by prospective tenants.
ReplyDeleteHoboken First. Jesus Christie, what a crew.
ReplyDeleteEric
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your giving the benefit of the doubt. But no landlord in their right mind would ever, ever paint a vacant space that color. That color is for one reason only - apparently someone in the Old Guard decided that Yellow is to be the campaign code for Anti-Mayor/Reform. TIMMAY is being propped up big time financially. Mr. Swibinski comes to mind as the duffus who came up with the color as he seems to be the common thread involved. It is actually insulting to me as a resident of the 4th ward that these jack holes think that the many of us who bought and firmly planted roots who buy into their carpetbagger ruse with a fake candidate.
GA
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you were out and about in the hood.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey, when they're done painting let's all put on our bell-bottom pants and go over there to play "Yellow Submarine"!
ReplyDeleteI know some Blue Meanies that can come!
I wonder what they'll replace that friendly French Bulldog who was by the register with.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff, Eric.
ReplyDelete