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Introducing Udderly Smooth udder cream, for use on dairy cows and humans.
This is not a joke, but a product I use at least twice a day and love.
I wanted to share it with you guys because GA is not just a place to come for a laugh, but a place to get help for your cracked and dry teats. And it's gender-neutral, so boys, you don't need udders to appreciate its restorative power. Use it anywhere- from your head to your toes, and it absolutely works; it's maybe the best moisturizer I've ever tried. And cheap. I bought mine on Amazon (got a 6-pack), but it's sold at CVS (I saw it at the one on Clinton Street).
If you try it, please follow the "Directions for Use":
CAUTION: Wash udder and teat parts thoroughly with clean water and soap before each milking to avoid contamination of milk. Use clean individual towels for this purpose. Apply to the udder after each milking, massaging into the skin. For teat cracks apply in sufficient quantity to fill crack and cover surrounding area. Apply uniformly to chafed area and bruises to maintain skin suppleness. For aid in softening swollen udders following calving, apply liberally twice daily with gentle massage.
May be used for chapped or chafed skin.
WARNING: DO not use on parts affected with cow pox, as such may contribute to the spread of the infection.
Another satisfied customer
I use it on my face (yes) and hands, fyi.
If anyone tries it, let me know what you think.
Moo.
A GA Product Endorsement
Introducing Udderly Smooth udder cream, for use on dairy cows and humans.
This is not a joke, but a product I use at least twice a day and love.
I wanted to share it with you guys because GA is not just a place to come for a laugh, but a place to get help for your cracked and dry teats. And it's gender-neutral, so boys, you don't need udders to appreciate its restorative power. Use it anywhere- from your head to your toes, and it absolutely works; it's maybe the best moisturizer I've ever tried. And cheap. I bought mine on Amazon (got a 6-pack), but it's sold at CVS (I saw it at the one on Clinton Street).
If you try it, please follow the "Directions for Use":
CAUTION: Wash udder and teat parts thoroughly with clean water and soap before each milking to avoid contamination of milk. Use clean individual towels for this purpose. Apply to the udder after each milking, massaging into the skin. For teat cracks apply in sufficient quantity to fill crack and cover surrounding area. Apply uniformly to chafed area and bruises to maintain skin suppleness. For aid in softening swollen udders following calving, apply liberally twice daily with gentle massage.
May be used for chapped or chafed skin.
WARNING: DO not use on parts affected with cow pox, as such may contribute to the spread of the infection.
Another satisfied customerI use it on my face (yes) and hands, fyi.
If anyone tries it, let me know what you think.
Moo.
There was once was a man with cracked teats,
ReplyDeleteWho was looking for a product as well for his feets,
It turned out that the right move,
was to purchase Udderly Smooth,
It is simply a product that can't be beat!
I was going to milk this for laughs with a salvo of puns, but the fly in the ointment was you might have a beef with my titillating cracks rubbing you the wrong way. I know, I know, they should put me out to pasture, don't rub it in.
ReplyDeletelol.. both of you! But really, not kidding about this stuff. My sister turned me on to it- she's a podiatrist, and told me to use it on my feet.
ReplyDeleteI love that it's so cheap... do you know what some moisturizers go for? The ones marketed to women, anyway. With promises of eternal youth and disappearing wrinkles. Yeah, right. More like disappearing cash.
Hey! Mum's the word - don't have a cow! Please don't go hog wild promoting these livestock products, or you can bet the farm they will cream us with the price increases! Legend has it that retin A was an inexpensive hand salve until they realized it removed wrinkles, and then the price went up tenfold. BTW, I know a number of people that swear by "Bag Balm" as a moisturizer. That's no bull.
ReplyDeleteThis is not green friendly. If she puts this on both sides, then I'm liable to ingest some toxins.
ReplyDeletePlease apply to only one side per day. Apply electric tape in on an X over the offending side to prevent ingestion.
Thank you.
Da Horsey
P.S. It's kinda hard to top this biazzaro post when the Bard shows up so early in the thread.
My feet are udderly grateful for your advice.
ReplyDeleteOh, you are just begging to be a target with this one ;)
ReplyDeleteTitalating conversations, and yes Tony Hoboken you could be right that GA could get creamed with this post. Her detractors way have found a few cracks to exploit, but they better moove on this carefully.
ReplyDeleteI had herd there were some stock comments made here that were re-vealing, so I hoofed it back over to this thread to see for myself what was at steak back at the ranch, and to get on the gravy train myself. So we meat again! A-1 job, bloggers, that's some prime ribbing! Great puns you have rustled up, you have made me a laughing stock!
ReplyDeleteAlso, no reason to hide the fact that this ointment is good for when your skin becomes like leather after you spend a day tanning.
ReplyDelete