Patio Chicken

I'd like to say yesterday was all sweetness and gentility over on the nj.com message board. Well... no, but I've got a story for you.

A poster who goes by the name of patiofurniture spent much of his day attacking yours truly in an oddly malevolent way, with such gleeful malice that it surprised even me. And I screen-capped the entire exchange.

For the record. Because one never knows.

Now, that forum can be a tough place, and dust-ups there are frequent. What makes this one different from the average brawl is that I decided to take it offline, and challenged this person to meet with me for a talk. Why not? It's not like it would make him any more vicious since he seemed to be peaking. And I figured he'd want to meet me because he seemed to be harboring-- something. Not sure what. Well.. surprise, surprise. You read the title of this blog entry, right?

So, I'm posting this to demonstrate how spineless some of the nastiest, most aggressive keyboard warriors are off the internet battlefield
.

Pay attention. You will see patiofurniture wiggle and jiggle around my efforts to meet him like a Turkish belly dancer. Bold and relentless on the attack in cyberspace, watch how he turns into a weak-kneed little girl when his target (me) wants a sit-down. I admit, I was surprised. To be so aggressive in anonymity, then so weak when confronted.

Now, you need to know the screen name I use on that forum is Clockwork3.

So here it is. I was out most of yesterday with LA (Little Avenger), and when I returned a friend had emailed me about patiofurniture's repetitive postings. I found these 2 when I checked the forum:

click to read any image



Well, I figured it was time to meet this fellow face-to-face for a talk, before he started giving walking tours to my home.


His reply:
Are you getting a weird vibe about this guy? He doesn't want to meet a woman he's been taunting, but wants to meet her male significant other instead?

His response was deleted before I could get a screen cap. Darn. But he said didn't want to meet with an "irate female", and would only meet with a male.

Oh, brother.



There was a bit more after that. A very dear friend of mine who's had my back throughout jumped in and ripped patiofurniture a new one. To which the mighty keyboard-warrior meekly replied he was "apprehensive" about meeting with him (?). Wait a minute... didn't he say he wanted to meet with a man instead of an "irate woman"?

It sounds like he was scared of my friend, too. Which he should be, because if you knew him... scary...

Well, this entire matter is quite idiotic. But it is worth noting that some of the meanest, most vicious and nasty keyboard-warriors are scared little kittens if you pull them out into the sun.

So, let's see if he DOES show up today at 9am, or if patiofurniture is in fact a folding chair.


(Update 10:15 am)
It's official!

Well, I have to thank patiofurniture for selecting a meeting place so close to my home. How convenient!

At 9 am sharp I was standing at the corner that he selected (after he Googled my address... why do you think he wants to know where I live? Kinda creepy, no?) I brought a newspaper to keep me occupied just in case he was late.

Hmmm... where was he? It was kind of lonely there all by myself. I waited about 15 minutes then took a pic of the empty corner.

Well, another great thing about patiofurniture selecting that spot for our meeting is that it's across the street from A&P, so you do see folks coming and going... and a friend of mine happened by! She took this pic for me:

It's funny, but my friend kept yelling at me to turn around, I have no idea why. Well, after she took my pic she continued on her way. It was about 9:25 am. I was starting to get bored...


Oh dear, 9:30 am!

Where oh, where was that bold and courageous keyboard warrior? Don't tell me I was stood up? That hasn't happened to me in years! My, and he was SO BRAVE yesterday....encouraging strangers to look me up on Google... repeatedly calling me ugly (which is alright, certainly a matter of opinion- right?). But what a SURPRISE he couldn't summon the guts to meet me, to say that stuff to my face.

In his honor, I am defrosting a chicken for tonight's dinner. Or should I cook a goose?

Don't leave this one out on the patio.

Comments

  1. Already roasted to a crisp by GA, hullabaloo.

    Utter nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Go back and try leaving a trail of cracked corn. buk-buk-bugAWWWWWWWWWWWKKKK!

    ReplyDelete
  3. info, you're killing me with that buk-buk-bugAWWWWWK!

    Well, it's a new day folks. No more forum for me, too many sleazy political operatives and keyboard warrior-chickens. H411 was a huge addiction, and I gave that up. The forum has been a kick- a diverse collection of souls, lots of interesting BnR, personalities like Mr. b. I will meet him for a knish one day. But where does one find a knish in Hoboken? I mean a fresh one.

    Anybody know?

    ReplyDelete

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